“Gather around kittens and stop pushing in the back row. I am here today to explain how to keep your nine lives complete and what to do if you happen to lose one on the way. After 16 years of staying alive you must pay attention to my wise words.”
“Miss Tabby, how many lives do you still have?”
“Kitten that is a question you never ask another feline. It is the best way to lose a life by paw swipe. They are personal and private details. I am here to tell you the facts and that is the important thing.
The first thing you must do is to count your lives when you awake from a sleep, one could easily get stolen in the night. If, by some reason a life is lost, there is no point in searching for it. It will not return. There are some things in the lives of a feline that cannot be replaced.”
“But Miss Tabby, perhaps sticking a life together with a hair ball would help.”
“Bastet forbid. Lives are not stuck anywhere when one has gone it is gone. And do not forget a hairball is a precious thing, no two hairballs look alike, each one is unique.
And now the important Point: if you have mislaid or lost a life do not forget that you still have eight lives to live. This is the proof that we are at the highest level of intelligence. How many humans do you know that have more than one life? None, because if humans had more than one life, they would mislay it or forget where they put it.”
“But what happens when our ninth life is no longer.”
“Who is asking, ah, the black kitten in the back row.”
“We than get our tenth life, and if we have been a good feline all our nine lives, we will spend the rest of our days in the corn chambers.”
“You mean where the mice are.”
“Yes, of course.”
“But what about the tuna fish.”
“Who asked that one? Who was your father if I may ask.”
“He is called Roschti and said not to believe everything to tell us. You only want to keep the tuna fish for yourself.”
” You mean Roschti, my feline neighbour who plans to steal my territory. In that case todays lesson is finished. I have to go and see a cat about a life that he might lose today.”