“There you are Tabby. I was looking for you everywhere.”

“Ok Mrs. Human, big deal, now you have found me. Can I now relax and enjoy my sleep or did you have something important to tell me.”

“I was wondering where you were.”

“So what’s the deal. Something to eat? A bird fell out of a tree and needs beak to mouth resuscitation, or a mouse has built a home in the garden cupboard and it you want me to welcome it to its new home.”

“No, nothing like that Tabby, I was just wondering where you were hiding.”

“I am hiding on a chair outside on the porch to avoid any mutual contact with the human species, or any other species. I need quiet, I must meditate and concentrate my thoughts on the meaning of life. I do not need human sound waves interrupting my thought processes. Do you ever hear me talk Mrs. Human.”

“Just a meow now and again Tabby, You are not exactly the master of conversation, and most of it seems to be done by telepathy. I think you talk more to the wall outside than you do to me.”

“Mrs. Human I often talk to you, but you never listen. I tell you to bring more tuna fish, I tell you to give me a tummy tickle not to mention guarding my territory whilst I am sleeping, but to no avail. Your concentration on my needs could  be improved.”

“So what would you like me to do now Tabby-”

“You could clean my litter box, fill up my food and water bowl and above all just stop talking. I want to relax and forget all the burdens of my life. I am exhausted, wake me in a few hours, but stop talking.”

“I could whisper.”

“No, Mrs. Human, that does not work. Humans are not equipped with the right volume frequencies for whispering and we felines are not known for conversations. We give the orders and human obey. So can I now continue my sleep undistrubed on this comfortable chair where I can live in seclusion. Just wake me when something interesting happens.”

“Such as?”

“My food bowl is filled with tuna fish.”

Feline RDP#59: Whispering Feline