Feline RDP #70: Feline Contact


“Tabby you are sleeping your life away.”

“Which one Mrs. Human.”

“The one you are living of course.”

“In that case no problem. If it was No. 7 or 8 that could be problematic as they have not yet happened and it is now too late to change numbers one to three, that are already waiting for me when I reach Life No. 10. No panic Mrs. Human.”

“But you spend all day on a chair, a bed or on the lawn in the garden, just sleeping.”

“Have you a suggestion for another sleeping place, or for doing something else?”

“You could take a walk and meet other felines, have contact and see how they are doing. You could perhaps compare territories and perhaps even discuss the merits of vitamin pellets.”

“Do what? Felines do not compare territories, we possess them, spray them, make them into our own when the other feline is sleeping. And vitamin pellets are not a source of conversation, it always results in hisses and howls.”

“Perhaps you could compare walls. It seems all felines have a thing about walls.”

“Mrs. Human, otherwise you are feeling OK I hope, no other strange ideas. We talk to walls, we watch them and every feline has its own individual wall moulded to its own ideas. How can you talk about walls? They are personal choices. If the feline next door is staring at a wall, he is stupid, has no feeling for the good things in life. That is because his wall does not belong to the wave length of my wall. Walls are personal Mrs. Human, not to be discussed or shared. I would never tell another feline about my wall. And my wall would be insulted if I did. In the words of the Feline ball catcher Whiskers Michael Jordan of the paw, “Walls never stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to talk to it.”

“Tabby walls cannot talk.”

“How do you know, you have never spoken to a wall, you just ignore them or plant something that climbs over it and walls do not like that.”

“Tabby, let’s change the subject.”

“Good Idea. What’s for dinner?”

Feline RDP #70: Feline Contact