Feline Wednesday Prompt: Feline Oevre

Tabby

“Mrs. Human we have a problem.”

“I have no problem Tabby.”

“If I have a problem it becomes your problem Mrs. Human. Here I am having a quiet sleep under the shade of a tree, to keep cool, because I have not yet found the zip to my fur coat.”

“Tabby we had that one yesterday, you are repeating yourself.”

“If I do not repeat my needs, you forget them Mrs. Human. And to continue. I was in a deep sleep having a dream about mountains of tuna fish tins, where I had opposable thumbs and was opening the tins one after the other. And then it happened.”

“What happened Tabby?”

“My mountain of tuna fish tins was crushed, destroyed because it had been demolished by fallen apples.”

“I thought you did not like apples Tabby.”

“That is not the point Mrs. Human, listen to what I meow. Apples we thumping on the ground and I nearly got killed.”

“But it was only a dream, perhaps a meowmare?”

“Mrs. Human it was reality. The apples on this tree were falling and I was almost killed by a falling apple.”

“I have never heard of a feline being killed by an apple.”

“There is always a first time and I do not want the words on my pyramid “Killed by a falling apple”. It would be degrading.”

“Than I would suggest you sleep under a tree without apples.”

“Is that your solution to my life threatening experience? Remove the tree. I do not eat apples, I do not like them and I do not need them.”

“Tabby you have used the word “I” three times in that sentence. Life is not only about felines and their wishes.”

“And when you find me dead, covered in apples, you find that a good thing? Stop laughing Mrs. Human, those apples are out to get me. I will be absorbed by them and birds will peck at me.”

“Sorry Tabby, but I think you are over-exaggerating just a little. Just move to the rose bush.”

“And then I will be stabbed by thorns and bleed to death. Have you no consideration? Your garden is becoming a death trap for felines. Where are the days when it was full of catnip that I could roll in and get high on? Now it is a survival course.”

Feline Wednesday Prompt: Feline Oevre

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