Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Robot

Tabby

Gather around kittens and heed my wise words. Today we are learning how to clean in details. Tiddles stop biting Butch. He might have a tic in his fur, but it is his tic to do what he wants with it, not yours.

Of course I repeat myself. I do everything with care and follow exact details. The tongue is the best tool for a good clean, but you have to start at the beginning and carry it through to the end: no short cuts. I once knew a feline who began with the paws, how ridiculous. You clear away the dirt and stones between the claws and have a mouth full of gritty bits and then, yes that is the problem. You proceed to another part of your body and suddenly you have stones  where they do not belong, being transported by tongue.

Paw down Tiddles. What to do with a tic when you find it? Shake your fur. If the tic is finished with its meal it will fall and do not heed the human scream when they tread on it, it is all part of the daily feline cleaning routine.

So where was I, yes begin with a thorough lick on the paw, right front paw and then use it to wipe over the face beginning with behind the ear. “Yes Tiddles, I know we are not all right pawed. Then you can apply the left paw and begin on the other side”. The main thing is kittens, that afterwards  you can show your face with a nice threatening look.

Now pay attention. If you wish, you can retire to a quiet corner, but it is not necessary. There are certain parts of the feline body that now have to be moved expertly. Just raise the back right leg (or for the left pawed, the left right leg) and you discover places you never knew existed. Now have a nice good lick. “Butch not now, there are ladies here as well, be a little discriminate where you put your tongue and who sees it.”

I would say you should all practice at home and the next time you we see each other I will do a body check to make sure you have followed my instructions. Next week we will discuss on how to leave lotus flowers behind you when you walk. “No Butch, lotus flowers, not cat nip.”

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Robot