Feline RDP Sunday: Fathoming Feline


“I really do not understand felines, Tabby. You sleep all day and never seem to suffer from insomnia.”

“Mrs. Human I do not sleep all day, we felines have important work to do and insomnia does not exist in meow.”

“But work does not get done if you sleep all the time. Where would you be when I would spend all day sleeping.”

“You spend all night sleeping Mrs. Human, that is sufficient. During the day you need to be awake to tend to my desires. The feline day has 24 hours ┬áMrs. Human: twice as intensive as yours. I do not only sleep, that is a myth that the humans invented to keep them content. We felines need our sleep to ponder on the daily chores.”

“But you have no chores if you sleep all the time.”

“Mrs. Human we have stress. We sleep for at least 23 hours which is exhausting in itself. We only have an hour left to eat, wash, and organise our humans. Imagine the stress we have, not to mention the manufacture or a few hairballs to complete our artistic needs.”

“But I do not notice that you are in a hurry when you are not sleeping. You take your time with washing and eating.”

“That is because luckily our day has more that 24 hours.”

“But the day always has 24 hours.”

“Only if you are a human. We felines have a different time measuring system. It might seem that we sleep for 23 hours, but we are floating in our own hemisphere of sleep, with additional time in between. According to the mathematical sequences of Bast’s law, our 23 human hours are merely 12 in feline variations. It just seems like 23 hours to a human but all the other chores are done whilst we are sleeping.”

“But I do not see you moving in your sleep except for now and again when you turn three circles and sink down afterwards again into you cushion.”

“That is the springing feline point Mrs. Human. What we felines achieve in those three circles is beyond human comprehension.

And now you have at least 12 hours at your disposal Mrs. Human in human measurements. I would say you could put those 12 hours to good use by composing a dish of tuna fish, filling my two bowls with fresh water and refreshing my recycling box. You may also dust down my various chairs and sleeping cushions and there will also be time to go shopping for more supplies: the tuna fish tins are running low.”

“Yes of course Tabby, but I also have some work to do for myself.”

“You know what that guy said Mrs. Human: Felines first.”

“I do not remember him using the work “felines”.”

“That is just a small detail.”

Feline RDP Sunday: Fathoming Feline