Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Secrete


“Mrs. Human, where is my hairball.”

“Which hairball Tabby.”

“The one I placed on the carpet in the bathroom. It is no longer there.”

“Of course not Tabby, I do like hairballs on my bathroom carpet.”

“But that is my favourite carpet. The size fits my body perfectly and is always nice and warm when the sun no longer shines. I made the hairball extra for the bathroom carpet so that I would feel more at home.”

“Sorry Tabby, but your hairballs do not make me feel at home.”

“Do not forget Mrs. Human, this is my home, I just put up with you for emptying my recycling tray and filling my bowls with food and water. You also have decorations like photos on the wall and strange ornaments which are probably your gods. I also like to have some decoration to make it more homely and so I produced a hairball with feeling. I loved that hairball, it was so colourful and nicely shaped. Where is it.?”

“Sorry Tabby, but I put it in the garbage can.”

“You threw it away? My hairball? Hairballs are not easy to manufacture Mrs. Human. It needs energy to form them, Shall I tell you the secrets of the hairball forming processes.”

“No thank you Tabby, just keep your secrets to yourself.”

“But if you realise the effort and time I invest in their production, you would have more respect for the result. A hairball does not belong in the garbage but in a special place where it can be worshipped as we felines were when we were gods.”

“Tabby, sorry, but I do not find anything special about a hairball and watching you produce one is not exactly exciting.”

“You watched me produce it and dispose of it as if it was nothing, How would you like it when I would throw away your photos.”

“Tabby that is not the same.”

“Of course not, my hairballs live, they are memories, no respect for felines.”

“Forget it Tabby, I really do not want to have a conversation about hairball organisation. What about eating some real food: a nice bowl of tuna fish, but no hairball fabrication.”

“Ok Mrs. Human, but hairballs are not made from tuna fish. The best results are with vitamin pellets.”

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Secrete