Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Mentor


“Come down from that wall Tabby, before you have an accident.”

“No problem, Mrs. Human, my wall will protect me.”

“Because of the wall you might fall.”

“Never, the wall is my mentor.”

“Walls are not mentors. A mentor is someone that will advise you. Just as I am advising you to come down from the wall.”

“No way. A mentor is also someone that will train me to do the right thing, and you have never trained me to do anything. Humans only have two paws and fur on their heads, so are incomplete. I must admit you have opposing thumbs, but that is necessary to open the tins of tuna fish. We cannot be expected to do everything. But a wall is my mentor, he gives me an example of standing firm: the wall is my protection and inspires me to achieve untold heights.”

“Tabby, the only untold heights it inspires is to make you jump from the wall.”

“Wrong Mrs. Human. First of all I feel the way with my paw and then gracefully descend. There is no jumping. My wall is my advisor and gave me exact instructions. It said “trust me, I will show you the way”.”

“Tabby walls do not talk.”

“Wrong Mrs. Human, the wall talks to me. He is at this moment telling me not to heed the words of an ignorant human, that has no wall appreciation, a non-believer.”

“If your wall is so clever, why can I not hear its wise words.”

“Obvious Mrs. Human, because you are not able to use telepathy. I think you had the wrong mentors in your life. Your mentors told you that telepathy does not exist and so you believed them. They told you that walls do not have feelings. Humans are really unjust in their treatment of walls. And now please leave me. I have to calm my wall down, you have caused it to get excited and it is disappointed that no-one trusts a wall. “There there wall, stop crying, Mrs. Human does not meant it.” See what you have done my wall is now wet.”

“Stay cool Tabby, that is because it is raining.”

“Another weak excuse, why do humans not recognise the importance of wall psychology.”

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Mentor