Feline RDP Monday: Feline Chime


“Mrs. Human, why do I have that funny shaped object hanging on my collar. It has always been there since I took over.”

“That is a bell Tabby.”

“A bell, am I a sheep or a goat? No, I am a feline of the higher level, and do not need such a sign of servitude hanging around my neck. It serves no purpose and looks silly, remove it at once.”

“It is there for a purpose Tabby.”

“It serves no purpose for me, unless looking silly is normal.”

“Tabby it is for the birds.”

“Why, if I have anything around my neck it is for me, like a remote control for opening tuna fish tins, and that is still being developed.”

“If you are in the garden……..”

“You mean my territory.”

“Yes Tabby, which you prefer. But if you have a bell around your neck, it warns the birds that you are coming and they fly away.”

“But I do not want the birds to fly away. I want them to stay, I love birds.”

“I know Tabby, but birds are not an extra addition to your food. If they fly away they escape and stay free.”

“Stupid idea. Mrs. Human I love the companionship of birds. Remove the bell at once.”

“Tabby you have been wearing it since you were a kitten and now you are 16 years older and I am not going to remove it now.”

“I have been wearing this symbol of slavery for 16 years?”

“Yes and up to now you never noticed it and I am not going to have it removed.”

“Then we will meet an agreement. I will keep it if you exchange it for one in pure gold to meet with my position in life: perhaps with my name engraved on it. That will impress the birds and they will have respect.”

“Yes Tabby, but perhaps not gold, brass would be the same colour.”

“No deal, I am allergic to brass.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Chime