“Tabby what are those marks on the toilet?”
“Mrs. Human, they are my paw marks of course. What other marks could be so symmetrical and and clear, a work of feline art.”
“That is a matter of opinion Tabby. This morning I cleaned the toilet and now I have your muddy paw prints everywhere.”
“Blame it on the rain Mrs. Human. It was lying on the ground and I had to walk though it. then my paws were muddy and I hate having muddy feet. I wiped them on the carpet of course, but they were still muddy. Then I had a brilliant idea. There is always water in your recycling bowl so I thought if I dipped my paws into it, it would clean them.”
“But my bowl is now full of paw marks.”
“Yes, it did not work very well, but I managed to get my paws clean. I just wiped them on the floor afterwards to rid them of the excess mud and now look Mrs. Human, I have nice clean paws.”
“But the shower is also full of your muddy feet.
“I wanted to make sure that my paws were really clean. That rainy weather can really be a nuisance, but now they are clean and dry, look Mrs. Human. Oh, and to be sure I wiped them on your bed covers afterwards. Be glad you have such a conscientious feline that takes care of himself. Mrs. Human, Mrs. Human. Oh dear she had one of her fits and is now lying on the settee. I think she is ignoring me. Did I do something wrong? I thought she liked having a clean feline.”