Feline RDP Thursday: Diametric Feline

Tabby

Of course I am diametric, my whiskers tell it all
They are perfect, straight and firm and they will never fall
Some are long and some are short, but very rarely break
They are one of my special features and never give me an ache
If I lose one it does not matter, it does not happen in vain
Because I know that it is not forever and they will grow again

Feline RDP Thursday: Diametric Feline

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Fault

Tabby

“So Tabby, we are back again.”

“Mrs. Human I did not go anywhere. I was ready every day to be called upon to write my words of feline wisdom on my blogging site, but there were no opposable human thumbs available. You deserted me, and that was completely your fault.”

“Sorry Tabby, but I was not feeling very well.”

“I noticed you were sleeping almost more than I do, which is a sure sign that the human is not functioning. We felines need sleep to gather our energy for the next working phase, but when humans sleep they need time to get back into working order And the coughing was annoying. I could not relax.”

“So what wise words do you have about faults.”

“Mrs. Human, the word does not exist in meow because we felines are perfect and have no faults.”

“But nobody is perfect Tabby.”

“Of course not, just the feline bodies are perfect. It is a clear fact that humans invented imperfections. Otherwise there would be no purpose in a feline life. We must control the mistakes that humans make, like shutting me in the cupboard yesterday for three hours.”

“But you survived and had a good sleep.”

“That is  not the point. I could have suffocated, starved to death, lost life or two. And who closed the door on me.”

“I cannot remember Tabby.”

“You see that is what I say. A feline would never close the door without a reason and you even forget who did it. I would only close a door on another feline if I wanted to punish him for perhaps taking over my territory or because he was not my type of thing and I wanted to kil him. Humans do it because they forget. At least we have a reason for our actions.”

“Yes Tabby, of course you are right. Another human imperfection noted. Thankyou Tabby.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, always ready to assist a lost human.”

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Fault

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Air

Tabby

There is nothing better than air outside
But five minutes is enough, it was a long ride
My whiskers are shivering my paws are cold
So open the window, I am not feeling bold
How long must I wait, my tail will freeze
It is really not warm, and there is a cold breeze
I can open the cat flap? but that is work
We gods deserve better, Human are you berserk?

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Air

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Security

Untitled

Gather around kittens and listen to my wise words
Follow the scent in your nose and then you will catch the birds
Never look other felines direct in the eyes
They will  think you want to fight and this would be unwise
After a meal have a good lick, this is a strict mew
Otherwise felines smell the food and they will want some too
Always cover your recycled matter and bury it with earth
It demonstrates your rightful place and shows your valued worth
When you want to prove your point and demonstrate possession
Just spray around on your territory, this will avoid aggression
And if you have any questions, then you can raise a paw
My advice is to be followed, of that you can be sure

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Security

Feline RDP Thursday: Waning Feline

Tabby

I am so beautiful, a  waning feline is the best
My fur shows reflections, whilst I am at my rest
The warmth invades my body, oh what a perfect feel
Relaxing in the sun, it is a wonderful deal
Floating in a feeling of absolute delight
During the day I sleep and make the most of the night
But now the shadows caress me, this is my deepest wish
But all good things come to an end, I must eat my tuna fish

Feline RDP Thursday: Waning Feline

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Garden

Tabby A 07.10 (2)

I will never understand the human word “garden”. It does not exist in meow. We call it our recycling depositing tray. They are full of earth, and earth has only one purpose – to bury unwanted matter. Mrs. Human buries flowers in it, and strange objects that look like something that humans eat. She calls them “bulbs”, another word not existing in meow, and when the hunting season begins, usually when it gets warmer and the mice and birds are moving, these “bulbs” begin to grow an again you get flowers. Even the flowers she buries grow, but she says they are the seeds that the flowers produce. Who needs flowers?

What is the purpose of a flower. They do nothing, do not move. They grow and t some time in their life, they die and even then they are not worth eating. You an even get digestive problems from them. So what is the point. They just occupy digging space.

Speaking of digestion, that is the purpose of a garden. Your unwanted matter is in the garden, so cover it up with earth and move on. Gardens are a mystery to me. Mrs. Human even throws water over it when it does not rain. She says then her plants begin to grow. We do not want anything to grow, just leave the earth and perhaps dig it now and again to keep it soft. It makes it easier for the paw to cover up what you do not want to be seen.

I will never understand the human “garden”.

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Garden