Daily Feline Prompt: Reprieval for a feline

Tabby

“Yes Tabby, is there something you want?”

“What about some food?”

“You have a bowl full of food, you can help yourself when you want to.”

“I mean real food, the sort you can savour in the taste buds, let the juice trickle down your throat and absorb every moment of flavour.”

“Oh, you mean you have a chewing problem. We must immedeately go to the vet.”

“Mrs. Human the vet is not the solution to all feline problems. That is not what I meant. There are problems that arise through neglect and carelessness and I am wondering whether to forgive you or not.”

“Me, I did not do anything wrong Tabby. Your food bowl is always full, often to the brim. There is always enough to eat. I am always thinking of your health.”

“That is where we beg to differ Mrs. Human. We have two different opinions of health. Health if for me a bowl of inviting juicy pieces of fish, each mouthful more inviting than the last. I often think you have lost the real meaning of health.”

“But your vitamin pellets are flavoured with fish.”

“I mean the real thing, where you realise what you are eating was once alive, swimming with fins and breathing, absorbing the pleasures of its fishy life and even eating the smaller fish to build up a concentration of taste for its after life. I very much doubt if your vitamin pellets were ever breathing, they were dead before they were packed in the plastic bag.”

“But vitamin pellets are an industrial product and especially constructed for the benefit of feline health.”

“Is that why they are packed in plastic bags? To keep them isolated from the the world. When you open a tin of tuna fish, I am already placed in surroundings filled with the promise of an appetising meal. The aromas already reach my nose before the tin is emptied into my dish. Vitamin pellets do not have the same effect and it is such a neutral process. Open the bag, fill the bowl with no feelings or insight, and shove it in front of me. There are no enticing flavours. Just a bowl of dry shapes, forcing me to chew them until I can swallow them. A pure harball encouragement. It is a feline sentence to suffer.”

“So what would you suggest Tabby.”

“That is quite obvious. Abolish the vitamin pellets. Only serve tuna fish.”

“But that would be very expensive Tabby to serve only tuna fish.”

“There you have it. It is all a questio of money, do I mean nothing to you?”

“Of course you do Tabby, that is why I always choose the best viatmin pellets.”

“A bowl of tuna fish is much better.”

“Ok, then I will continued to serve the tuna fish.”

“I should think so.”

“Stop stamping your paw Tabby I got the message. As always on Sunday and Wednesday you will get your tuna fish.”

“But…..”

“Now go and play outside Tabby like a good obedient feline.”

“I will report you to the association “Tuna Fish daily for felines.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Reprieval for a feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Survival

Tabby

Of course I will survive. I had 9 complete lives, and still have 5 to go, although I do not really remember how and when I lost the other four, but these things are stored in the memory whisker department. Whiskers are not just to admire and praise as  wonderful complement to my general good looks, they have a purpose. They are our memories. The one on the left that is hanging a little, is the place where my paw fights are stored. I survived them all, but each confrontation reduces the power of the whisker, that is why it is drooping. The whisker on the right at the top is my favourite whisker, because it records every mouse and bird that I have conquered up to now. On the left at the top is my tuna fish dish collection.

The reason why I have survived every problem and fight up to now, to be quite honest, is because of my talent for running fast. There is no point in being brave and trying to withstand oppression, especially if the other one is bigger and stronger that you are. No, the surviving felines are those that can run faster than the others. Forget bravery in the claws of the enemy, it does not work. Of course the first step when threatened is to use your hissy voice. If you notice that this is not working then run for it. Aim for your cat flap. You are then safe. You think I am a coward? Forget it. In the feline world it is not the survival of the fittest, but the survival of those that can run faster than the others. That is why I always return safely from my excursions into the unknown. Paws first forever. They are the secret of feline survivial, claws come second.

These are my wise words of today.

Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Survival

Daily Feline Prompt: Conflict of Feline Interests

Tabby

“I am off Mrs. Human. Am not sure when I will be back. Do I look OK?”

“Of course you do Tabby, why are you meeting another feline?”

“I hope not. Having a wash is normal, nothing special. Of course, it enhances my good looks even more and leaves an everlasting impression on the other felines. After all I am the best. Felines do not meet Mrs. Human, we spend most of the time trying to avoid each other, or ignoring each other. We have more important things to deal with, such as territorial rights and ensure that no other felines are trespassing. Do you think my claws are sharp enough?”

“Ouch Tabby, yes they resembles razor blades at the moment. Look at the mark on my arm you just made.?”

“Did I draw blood?”

“No Tabby thank goodness, although I will have to disinfect the scratch.”

“Perhaps they are not sharp enough in that case. Are you insinuating that my claws do not leave a clean scratch.”

“Not at all Tabby, it is a very neat clean scratch, you can see every detail, just a precaution. And now go on your walk.”

“If your hear any screams or hisses, it only means I am impressing other felines.”

“I see, and what if they are not impressed.”

“Of course they will be impressed, I am respected in this neighbourhood.”

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“Are you already here again Tabby.”

“I changed my mind. Roschti was standing at the edge of my territory.”

“He impressed you?”

“Not exactly, I think I was impresssing him, let’s just call it a conflict of interests.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Conflict of Feline Interests

Daily Feline Prompt: Catapulted feline

Tabby

“Now that was a refreshing sleep Mrs. Human, I feel like a new feline.”

“I suppose you would after sleeping all morning and lunch time.”

“Lunch time, food, and I got nothing?”

“You were sleeping Tabby.”

“Yes, I remember, I had to make choice. eat or sleep. I then noticed that “eat” was no choice as there were only hard vitamin pellets in my dish. I was sure that during my sleep that would turn into something soft and fishy.”

“Sorry to disappoint Tabby, but the pellets are still there, although they are flavoured with tuna fish.”

“No way Mrs. Human, I would rather starve. I think I will take a walk to my territory.”

“Ok, but go out through the back window.”

“But that is not my favourite territory, I would prefer to take the direct route through the front window, passing my favourite wall and walking across my new climbing frame, left by the builders, known as scaffolding.”

“That will not work Tabby, the builders are working at the moment.”

“Yes, I can see them through the window, but they are playing with fire. It is an inquisition. My ancestor, “Witchy Tabby” met his end in the fire, although it seems not really, he just crossed into his 10th life and was still turning the milk sour.

Do you think the buiders are here to collect the felines that got away?”

+No Tabby, they are working outside and melting object to make them stick to the wall.”

“But not my wall, that would be cruelty to walls. You mean they are building a barrier around my territory. They are invaders.”

“They have now gone so you can go out. It is no longer dangerous.”

“But there is a strange smell in the air, like burning objects, fur or whiskers. They are coming to get me I am sure.”

“They are not longer here, but have gone home. They have finished their work.”

“OK Mrs. Human, but if you see them driving a wooden stake into the ground, tell me. That is the next step and I still have 5 lives left.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Catapulted feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Tabby Adrift

Tabby

“Tabby, I have been searching for you everywhere, I though you had disappeared.”

“Disappeared? Life is no longer secure here. They are coming to get me.”

“What happened?”

“There I was minding my own business, talking to a wall and wondering where to take my next sleep. Wanting to solve life’s little problems. I was not doing any harm, just minding my own business and counting the lives I still have. Suddenly there was noise, and real noise. Not the brumming of a human voice, or the sweet sounds of a birdsong or mouse squeak, no it was something comletely different. I was sure my next five lives were slowly beginning to crumble. I was already thinking whether I would prefer the rainbow bridge or the eternal corn chambers. I suspect it was the new human breed known as “builders” with one of their mencing tools.”

“Now that sounds very serious Tabby.”

“It was.”

“What did you decide.”

“Don’t be offended Mrs. Human, but that rainbow bridge is not my thing. First of all I am colour blind, and secondly it would mean spending my time waiting for you to arrive. Nera and Fluffy are already in the eternal corn chambers, collecting mice for Bastet, so that would be my decision. However, I am still here as you can see.”

“Yes, I noticed you disappeared with a speed of a Formula 1 racing car.”

“Not quite, I prefer to be compared with a cheetah. So I eventually decided there is no place like home, my home and I returned as fast as I could and found a safe place.”

“On your bed?”

“Forget it, that is far too exposed. I spent the best part of the afternoon beneath the settee in the corner waiting for the noise to go away. Again I survived, and fought the evil noise with all my combined whiskers and claws. It was difficult and now I am exhausted. I must recover from the oppression of the builders. They are a worst enemy than the leaf soldiers that appear every year at the time you call Autumn.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Tabby Adrift

Daily Feline Prompt: Unmoored Feline

Tabby

I am off to experience what the world holds for me. I said goodbye to my various beds, my hairball collection and my bowls of water. I did not say goodbye to my bowl of hard vitamin pellets the “are good for you” because I never really found them good for me. They were not easy to swallow, although I must say they were ideal ingredients for a perfectly shaped hair ball.

I did not say goodbye to Mrs. Human, she would not understand it. The sun is shining and I am on my way saying goodbye to the tree where I like to lay for its shade when the sun is shining. I wave goodbye to my favourite wall where I would have so many enlightening conversations as well as my unopened tins of tuna fish.

I left a note for Mrs. Human to say not to worry. I must go on a quest to find my purpose in life. As the Dalai Feline said “Our prime purpose in this life is to help other felines. And if you can’t help them, then forget it”. Yes so are we felines, always thinking of ourselves.

So I am on my way, but just a moment. Do I really want to leave my home which has that familiar smell and feeling about it? To leave my humn slaves who have no other purpose in their insginificant human lives but to fill my food bowls and empty my recycling tray. How can I be so selfish? If I am no longer in my home Mrs. Human will have no purpose in her human life. Her one aim is to ensure that I lack nothing, that all my wishes are fulfilled and read from my whiskers. No I cannot do this, I must return to my territory. Oh, I am still in my territory, well it is a large territory. My Paws are aching, I feel exhusted. I must take a rest, but not here. I will return.

“Hello Tabby, where have you been?”

“I was leaving home Mrs. Human.”

“Oh dear, were you unhappy?”

“No, of course not, does not exist in meow. I wanted to go places and see things.”

“And did you?”

“Of course, I reached the borders of my territory.”

“And you returned?”

“I could hear the sound of the tin opener and smell the scent of tuna fish in the air.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Unmoored Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Descent of a Feline

Tabby

“Be careful Tabby.”

“Er, Mrs. Human I am feline, you know, the most perfect creatures. We were designed to achieve everything. Have you ever seen a feline that falls and is laying on its back afterwards. Have you ever had to call for an ambulance because I happened  lose a paw on the way.”

“But you have been lucky Tabby.”

“It has nothing to do with luck. If a human survives it calls it luck. We felines do not need luck, because we can do it. We are first and the best at everything. We overcome the law of gravity, it is unnecessary for felines. We only invented gravity to give the humans something to think about.”

” I thought gravity was not an invention, it just existed.”

“There you have it again. You see how much we felines are underestimated. It was Sir Isaac Paws Newton that decided to call it gravity, after a tin of tuna fish fell on his head when reaching for it in his human’s cupboard.”

“Oh, I must have misunderstood the human science laws. But Tabby you once missed a step when descending your feline ladder.”

“I did not, I did that on purpose just to show how clever I was to reach the last step with no problems. I just wanted to make it look more difficult as Roschti, the feline next door was watching. He afterwards spread the word how clever I am and my feline status increased by 10 points in the neighbourhood. I am the best, the most perfect.”

“Tabby, do not overdo it with your self praise, the higher they climb the steeper they fall.”

“That might pertain to humans, but we felines are too perfect.”

“Then be careful when you walk across the grid outside. There is a steep fall next to it.”

“That is to enhance the suspense Mrs. Human. It makes the humans go “oooh” and “aaah” when I succeed in crossing it to arrive at the other side perfectly.”

“But I notice you sometimes descend and afterwards ascend again.”

“That is only to show how versatile I am. Mrs. Human I am just too perfect.”

“Yes Tabby, I must admit. You surprise me every day with your talents.”

“Mrs. Human are you laughing.”

“Of course not Tabby.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Descent of a Feline