Feline Dental Problems?

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, do I have bad breath?”

“What a strange question Tabby.”

“I just wanted to know. Have a sniff.”

“No Tabby, I have no intention of giving you the bad breath test.”

“On my last degrading visit to the vet, when she stuck a needle in my private parts, I heard something about having my teeth cleaned. Perhaps you could do it with your toothbrush and toothpaste. Do they have tuna fish scented toothpaste?”

“Just a minute Tabby. I do not intend letting you use my toothbrush, that is unhygenic.”

“Unhygenic does not exist in meow. But the vet said something about putting me to sleep when they clean my teeth. I do not need putting to sleep, so if you do it there will be no need.”

“The vet said that at the moment everything is fine, but with time they will have to clean your teeth.”

“But I do not want to be put to sleep.”

“In that case you will nicely open your mouth and allow the vet to scratch away the stains on your teeth.”

“Definitely not without a fight.”

“Exactly, that is why you will be put to sleep, but it has time.”

“In the meanwhile you could perhaps search for a feline friendly toothpaste on your computer, and we can try that.”

“Which means you will nicely open your mouth and let me do the cleaning like on your photo that I took.”

“That is a yawn Mrs. Human, not a rehearsal for a teeth cleaning operation.”

“In that case we will have to go to the vet.”

“So what about my bad breath.”

“Tabbly I am not going to try to find out, and only another feline could give you an answer.”

“OK, let’s forget it, no vet and no toothpaste. I find I have super sharp teeth, that is all I need.”

 

 

The Missing Human

Shadows and Reflections 28.01 (3)
“Mrs. Human, where have you been?”

“I went out this afternoon for a walk with Mr. Swiss.”

“What about me?”

“Tabby, I really do not think you would like to go for a walk with me.”

“Of course not, that is not the point. You left me alone all afternoon. There was no-one here to read the wishes from my whiskers – anything could have happened.”

“But Tabby you never ask my permission to go for a walk, you just go: sometimes even in the middle of the night.”

“That is something completely different. What if I had a wish for something indispensable to my life. My water bowl could have been empty not to mention my food bowl, and I even used my recycling tray twice when you were not here.”

“Really Tabby, that is not a matter of life and death.”

“Of course not your life or death, but what about me.”

“But Tabby you survived, so do not panic.”

“I am not panicking I am just making a point. Where did you go?”

“Mr. Human and I took a walk to the stables. It was nice weather. We saw the horses, the chickens, geese and they even have new ducks.”

“You could have at least brought me a duck or chicken as a souvenir.”

“The animals at the stable are looked after not as a supplement to your food plan. The chickens lay eggs.”

“And what do the ducks do?”

“They swim in their own pond.”

“What a waste that is. I do not eat eggs or swim. What is the point of just looking at them, they would be a good support to my diet.”

“Tabby not everything with feathers are food for felines. You have your own food supply and both your food bowl and water bowl were full when I left, and still are – so what is the problem?”

“You did not tell me your were going.”

“And you did not tell me that your would be so unhappy on your own. I thought your were independent.”

“I am, of course, I iwas just saying.”

“Want some tuna fish for your evening meal.”

“Silly question, of course, but stay here while I am eating, it could be that I could choke on a fish bone.”

“Tabby, enough.”

“But….”

“Enough, there are no fish bones in tinned tuna fish.”

“But there are always exceptions.”

“So you want the tuna fish or not.”

“Of course, silly question.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Can’t Stand me, but I love me

What do you find more unbearable: watching a video of yourself, or listening to a recording of your voice? Why?

What a silly question. I know I am a modest feline, keep myself to myself and rarely brag about how good I am or how clever I am. I have so many talents there would not be enough scope in this blog to mention all. Mrs. Human is full of praise how I help her in my home with eating the tuna fish she gives me, although only twice a week, but you cannot have everything I suppose.

I am also very good at using my recycling tray and always remind Mrs. Human to empty it when necessary. Did I tell you that I am an expert at defending my territory? Unfortunately it might happen that I am busy sleeping when one of my feline friends decide to invade my private sphere, but Mrs. Human is watching for me if necessary.

Today I found a wonderful new sleeping place. It was a cupboard full of human clothes and the door was open. I mean what would you do, as a feline. You jump in and make yourself comfortable. There was a small commotion when Mr. Human almost closed the cupboard door on me, but I reminded her to leave the door open and put a label on the door saying “do not close, Tabby seeping place” which worked quite well. I was left in peace until I noticed that Mrs. Human was preparing for her golden oldie midday sleep. I decided to accompany her as sleeping on a human bed is an improvement on a cupboard.

And Mrs. Human took my photo in the cupboard.

Tabby in cupboard

Mrs. Human said to apologise (a word which does not exist in Meow) for the dark photo. It seems the cupboard has no human light and I told her to keep it that way. Who needs light, we felines can see in the dark.

Daily Feline Prompt: Can’t Stand Me – but I love me

Daily Feline Prompt: Reason to Believe in Felines

In Reason to Believe, Bruce Springsteen sings, “At the end of every hard-earned day / people find some reason to believe.” What’s your reason to believe?

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, what’s that white stuff outside in my territory?”

“That’s snow Tabby.”

“What’s snow?”

“It’s frozen water that comes down from the sky.”

“I thought frozen water was what is in my bowl outside in the morning. That is transparent, but that white stuff is not transparent”

“It varies according to how cold it is I suppose.”

“You suppose? You are supposed to explain everything to me, but “suppose” in a human word when the human does not know why.”

“Things are not always so easy to explain.”

“That’s is because the human brain has not yet achieved the level of the feline brain. I will have to ask Bastet the reason for the difference between snow and frozen water, she will know.”

“But she is not here.”

“Believe what you want Mrs. Human, she is always here. All I have to do is to programme my whiskers and I am already on the receiving end of her wisdom.”

“I thought whiskers had another purpose.”

“Yes Mrs. Human, just think. Do not forget we felines were gods and….”

“I know Tabby. Why do you not know the difference between frozen water and snow in that case?”

“Because we felines had not yet invented snow when we were gods. That came later when the Norwegian cats appeared on the scene. My ancestors originated in the old country, where the pharaohs lived and Bastet was top of the hit parade and not some guy called Bruce Springsteen that I have never heard of. We even had a guy called Ra, the sun king who died every day, only to be reborn the next morning. Bastet was Ra’s groupie. By the way did you know it was punished with the death sentence if you touched a hair on our feline bodies?”

“No, I did not Tabby. In that case what do I get for serving a dish of tuna fish.”

“Satisfaction that you have chosen the right meal for your feline.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Reason to Believe in felines

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Learning Style

What’s your learning style? Do you prefer learning in a group and in an interactive setting? Or one-on-one? Do you retain information best through lectures, or visuals, or simply by reading books?

Tabby

“Can you still do it Tabby?”

“Do what?”

“Climb your special organised feline steps to reach the top of the cupboard where you like to rest with a view over your complete Kingdom.”

“Of course I can, don’t ask silly questions.”

“Then why don’t you climb up the ladder.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I think you have forgotten how to do it.”

“Hissss, shhhhh, not so loud, the others might read it.”

“Tabby it is a fact, you no longer use your steps.”

“I don’t feel like it, any feline can climb steps, but not every feline can take a jump from the desk to the top of the cupboard like I can.”

“But it is much easier to go up the steps, one after the other: no stress and just take your time.”

“Mrs. Human felines do not take their time, there is no point.”

“Why rush?”

“It is a matter of feline nature. We might have a dog on our paws, perhaps another feline, or there might be only one portion of mouse or bird, and first come first served.”

“But Tabby you are now at home and there are no other felines here. You only get healthy vitamin pellets of perhaps a portion of tuna fish at home, so why rush. No-one is going to take it away from you.”

“Mrs. Human this is developing into one of these conversations from a human point of view. You are applying the words of Dale Carnegie “When dealing with people you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion”.”

“Which would be translated in the higher level of feline logic?”

“Be quick, take it before the others do.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Learning Style

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline B+

Write about what you did last weekend as though you’re a music critic reviewing a new album.

Tabby

“What are you doing Tabby?+

“It is quite obvious. I am having one of my famous washes. The overture is to make the paw wet and the next movement is to swipe it in careful movements over my face.”

“You make it sound like a concert.”

“It is, having a wash is not just a quick stand under the big tongue you have in your bathroom, for a feline it is to be executed with care, a study in washing and we have many movements. It begins with the side parts of the face and of course around the mouth, that is the most important part.”

“Why Tabby.”

“You clean you teeth first of all don’t you? It is a similar study for us felines, but we have a reason. If I have been eating the famous tuna movement, it will definitely be noticed by other feline musicians and they will try to intervene on my washing syphony, searching for the lost tuna. It is better to remove that part of the concerto as soon as possible.

I then go into the lower keys of the rhythm, taking care to arrive at the essence of the music in a discrete way. There are parts of the feline washing symphony that are not to be seen by all, especially the tom cats amongst us. A lady likes to have her quiet symphonic movements to herself.”

“And then?”

“We now arrive at the grand finale, after a few bites in between the claws to make an impact on the listeners and progress to the dance sequence. I turn three times on the same spot, sink gracefully to a comfortable place, close my eyes, keeping one ear open for any sound intervals that may occur and perform the sleep concerto, which may last an hour or two, depending on whether I feel the need to create a diversion now and again. Yes, we feline have a feeling for our musical moments.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline B+

Daily Feline Prompt: Meowing

Meowing evolves. The meaning of a meow can shift over time as we use it differently — think of “cool,” “heavy,” or even “literally.”

Today, give a word an evolutionary push: give a common word a new meaning, explain it to us, and use it in the title of your post.

Tabby

“Meow”

“Meow-oo-ow”

“Mew”

“Mow-wow”

“Hissss-wow-mow”

“Meoaaaargh.”

“Meow”

“Tabby what is that noise?”

“Nothing Mrs. Human. I met Butch, the feline from over the path and he had some interesting news to tell me.”

“But I did not understand. It sounded like you were having an argument.”

“We were having a scientific discussion about the development of a tenth life and our feline burger delivery. Butch speaks Meowchong dialect, which is not the same as my dialect.”

“What dialect do you speak Tabby?”

“Macmeow of course, developing from the pharaoh days when we were worshipped as gods.”

“And meowchong is not from the gods.”

“Oh no, everyone knows that the original Tabby dialect is Macmeow. Even the famous MacDonald bird burger inventor spoke Macmeow. That’s where he got the name for his chain food emporium. By the way I heard he is opening a branch in our local supermarket.”

“But our local supermarket does not allow MacDonald bird burgers produced by felines. I have never seen the restaurant.”

“You wouldn’t. It is only open and visible for those with the nine lives. Actually Butch and I were discussing the order we placed on our pawpads. They also have a courier service. If a feline arrives at the door wearing a white hat with the inscription “Have a big Birdmac for your dinner” he will be bringing our order.”

“I didn’t know that felines eat bird sandwiched in a bun.”

“We don’t. It is garnished with catnip and packed in a crispy ………”

“Tabby, I don’t want to know. Just keep it for yourself.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Meowing