Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Doppelgänger

Tabby

Bin ich froh dass ich zweimeowig bin in deutsch und english. It is difficult for a normal feline to be able to understand german and english, remembering that we have to translate everything simultaneously from meow, but I am super intelligent and have no problem.

There is no other feline that resembles myself in looks or in intelligence. I am unique. My fur has its own designer pattern: note the “M” design on my forehead. Macdonalds are still fighting the court case where I accused them of plagiarism, for stealing the design for their hamburgers, although we are reaching an agreement. They will supply me with Big Macs for my entire 9 lives (although 4 have already been used).

For those of you that are having sleepless nights (and days) because there is a rumour that my Daily Feline Meows  my be coming to an end, I can reassure you that I will continue in spite of the shameful way I am being treated here. I am so popular that thousands of cats have written in Pawbook to tell me to stay. There was even a breakdown on the Pawbook circuit due to overloading of the site “We love Tabby”.

Be reassured there will be no “Doppelgänger”. I am irreplaceable. There is even a discussion in the 10th life land that I will be reinstated as a god, although the neighbour’s cat has has had his eye on my territory for some time.

And now I must go. Quentin Paws Tarantino is on the meowline, about my new film. “From Meow to Hiss”.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Doppelgänger

Daily Feline Prompt: Archaic Feline

Tabby

What am I worth, nothing, I am annoyed? Some human years ago, about 4-5 years, I decided to blog. I was one of the first felines that blogged. I had my own site and my litter sister Nera and apprentice Fluffy would also tell everyone about their daily life. They would assist with the pawlines. How many mice, how many birds, the chasing of the flies on the wall and the many times the sound of the opposable human thumbs using the tin opener would animate us to meet around the food bowls for our tuna fish delights.

It was all part of our lives (3×9=27) which are a lot of lives. In the meanwhile my other two feline colleagues are living their 10th lives in the eternal corn chambers catching mice. OK, I now have five remaining lives, and every morning I awake and my first thought is what shall I write today. The cats at WordPress would discover new adventures for me to write about.

My slave, Mrs. Human, would do the actual paw work, but under my observance. She will now become redundant. She translates my meows into human for all to read. I tell her what to write. It seems that my experiences of the feline world are no longer wanted. Humans you are missing a big chance to improve your lives. The daily Feline Prompt is no longer wished for. Its place in the archives of WordPress will no longer exist. How can I support the importance of  the feline existence in a human world without my popular, famous and memorable blogs.

Equal rights for feline bloggers I say, and do not forget we were worshipped as gods in the old country whilst the humans were still eating bananas in the trees and we will return. Beware what you are doing WordPress, the felines will take their revenge.

Daily Feline Prompt: Archaic Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Guilty Feline

Tabby

Do I feel guilty for having a sleep?
Of course I do not, I can even count sheep
I never have problems and just close my eyes
Why should I care, I am very wise
I forget all events  that often do come
Especially the one with the unopposable thumb
In sleep we do everything, even open a tin
I know it’s a dream, but it is my great win
There are seas of tuna just waiting for me
I can see it all clearly, at last I am free
I drift on a cloud, have no feelings of guilt
My sleep is so needed, or my whiskers might wilt
But then it is time, I hear my alarm
There is movement in the kitchen, it is my lucky charm
A clank can be heard, someone is moving a dish
Time to wake up to a tuna fish dish

Daily Feline Prompt: Guilty Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Assumption

Tabby

“Tabby what is so interesting in that corner.”

“Shhh Mrs. Human. Do not disturb.”

“But what is happening.”

“Stop disrupting my thought process and concentration.”

“You are making me curious.”

“See, you did it again.”

“What did I do?”

“Don’t ask so many pointless questions. I must concentrate.”

“But what are you concentrating on?”

“Mrs. Human if you cannot see it, then there is no point that I begin to explain. Life is not just bowls of vitamin pellets and emptying my recycling tray. There are events that should be observed and considered. There are assumptions to be made.”

“Such as?”

“Now you have disturbed the atmosphere with your stupid questions. It was just getting very interesting.”

“Interesting?  That is only my herb patch that you are looking at.”

“What might be a herb patch to you is something completely different to a feline.”

“What is it for you?

“Mrs. Human you have done it again.”

“What have I done?”

“The formation of my creative thoughts has now been disturbed. So please some quiet and less excitement. I must concentrate.”

“But what are you concentrating on.”

“You already asked that one.”

“But I did not get a firm answer.”

“There are some moments in life where an answer is not necessary. Just concentrate on assuming what could be.”

“Tabby where are you going now.”

“Too much excitement here, I must take a sleep in a quiet corner, but call me if anything happens. Just keep an eye on that patch of earth for me.”

“Oh, she has gone. And the patch of earth is just a patch of earth, but who knows. I suppose I should have a look now and again in case anything happens.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Assumption

Daily Feline Prompt: Disappearing Feline

Tabby

This is how it is when all your feline hopes disappear of going places and seeing things moving in the grass underpaw and even having a conversation with your favourite wall. All your hopes are dashed, destroyed, by just one heavy shower of rain. The water is coming from above, the worst possible scene you can imagine. You cannot drink it and not avoid it. Your fur coat gets wet and drops of rain drip off the nose.

If the water is below there is no problem. You can walk in it an even have a refreshing drink from it. In the olden days in the old country when we were worshipped as gods some of us even managed to walk on the water, but they were copy cats of course. A   human guy did it and they got big ideas.

I am now just laying here and waiting for the rain to stop, I have no choice. I am a victim of the elements. Even my wall is wet, but it carries on regardless. And the rain has stopped. My wall is shaking off the water and everything is back to normal. And now to have a refrshing drink from the puddles in my territory. All is not lost, I am back again.

Daily Feline Prompt: Disappearing Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Awkward Feline

Tabby

“Tabby you are sleeping your life away.”

“Have you a better suggestion Mrs. Human. I am exhausted and am still recovering from my shock.”

“You had a shock? And it was such a wonderful afternoon.”

“It was one stress situation. Did you see it, a human kitten appeared. It was on the floor and creeping.”

“Of course Tabby, it is too small to walk.”

“But it was occupying my territory. The floor is my kingdom and there is not room for two of us. And did you hear it meow?”

“Of course, is that a problem?”

“It nearly split my ear drums. I gave it a hiss and it ignored me and began to creep closer.”

“Don’t make such a fuss Tabby, nothing happened and you are still in one piece.”

“Or course I am, I decided  to retreat until the coast was clear. It was either the human kitten or me. I was sure it was aiming for my fur, its paws were outstretched. And now I must recover. Is the human kitten now gone Mrs. Human? Can I relax or shall I find another place to hide.”

“Tabby, don’t be such a kitten yourself. You are a wise feline and I really see no danger from a human baby.”

“Typical, no consideration for a feline. I now have to take a long sleep to recover from the shock. It was a very awkward situation. I was being attacked and I was defenseless. Has it gone forever?

“No Tabby, it will visit us again.”

“Let me know when that I can take precautions the next time.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Awkward Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Narcissism

Tabby

“How do I look Mrs. Human?”

“The same as always Tabby.”

“What is that for and answer? The same as always. I find my whiskers are especially perfect today, symmetric and well arranged. Although perhaps the third whisker on the left is a little shorter than the others.”

“There is nothing you can do about that Tabby, that is the way they grow.”

“Of course there is something, perhaps trim the others to the same length.”

“No Tabby, I am not going to touch your whiskers. They look OK to me.”

“Of course they look OK to you, you are human and humans have no idea of the perfection of the felines. Perhaps you could brush the fur around my neck Mrs. Human. They are places I cannot reach and arrange the fur around my collar.”

“But Tabby the collar is hidden by the fur and no-one notices that it should be arranged.”

“I notice it, and that is important. Human opnions do not interest me. And why do I have this collar around my neck. It is a symbol of slavery and you are the slave here not me.”

“The collar has an attachment with your name and address in case you would get lost. There is also the magnet that causes your cat flap to open.”

“I am labelled with my name and address! How insulting, and we felines never get lost. We always find our way home. I really do not need a magnet for my cat flap, I have you to open it when I am ready to enter.”

“And when you arrive in the middle of the night?”

“Exactly Mrs. Human. Human slaves should always be prepared. You carry a great responsibility in caring for me. Do not forget, I was once a god worshipped by all.”

“Was, Tabby, past tense”.

“Another human mistake. We do not have past or future tenses in meow, and only three pronouns which you should make a note of: I, me and myself.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Narcissism