Feline RDP Monday: Feline Halcyon

Tabby

“And did you have a halcyon day today Tabby?”

“Mrs. Human, speak meow that I understand what you are talking about. My day was as perfect as ever. First of all I serenaded you behind a closed bedroom door to ensure that you realise I am also here. When you eventually appeared in my realm, I made sure that your first movements were outside to refill my bowl of water. After absorbing the refreshment I decided to retire to the armchair for an hour’s relaxation and then my taste buds reminded me that it was the time when you refill the vitamin pellets. The only time of the day when they have a fresh taste and not old and stale. Afterwards I was exhausted and again had to spend a few hours recharging my system with some sleep. Afterwards I decided to examine me territory outside and was glad to see that the snow decided to go. This was exhausting, so I had to have yet another relaxing sleep. It seems that when I awoke the sky had changed its colour to something called evening in human terms. Again I felt pains of hunger, and decided to sit and wait for a few tasty morsels from the human food. This time it was worth it, and it rained ham onto the floor. This was again an exhausting experience and so another hour of sleep was called for.

Yes it was eventually a felyon day in all respects.”

“Felyon Tabby?”

“The meow version of Halcyon. Enter it into your human-meow dictionary.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Halcyon

Daily Feline Prompt: Pens and Pencils and Claws

When was the last time you wrote something substantive — a letter, a story, a journal entry, etc. — by hand? Could you ever imagine returning to a pre-keyboard era?

Fluffy's paw

“Mrs. Human, as long as we have claws we do not need pens and pencils. They are not paw friendly.”

“You are right Fluffy, but I don’t think you need to write.”

“Of course we do, Mrs. Human. If we meet a feline that is not smell friendly invading our territory we have to leave a few marks on the skin with our claws to teach him to stay in his own place. Writing is very important to us felines. Bastet said, leave your scratch mark when necessary, it is a sign of possession.”

“Bastet does not seem to be a very friendly god.”

“Feline gods are not friendly, they are mean, selfish and take what they can.”

“Oh, I see. Are you sure?”

“Of course, do not forget we are all gods, some higher than others. Now Nera, Bastet watch over her departed soul, was one of the highest. She had a direct place reserved on the right side of Bastet on an angora mouse fur cushion. She is in charge of the mouse population in the corn chambers and ensures that there is always enough to go round.”

“But if I remember rightly, Nera was a strong believer of I, me and myself, when she was still with us.”

“Of course, that was the training she needed, but now she is the top feline next to Bastet.”

“Oh, I see.”

“I don’t think you do Mrs. Human, but you are not bad for a mere homo sapiens. At least you make sure that we get our tuna fish ration twice a week.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really, but we like you to think you do. And now I will sharpen my claws on the claw sharpening post and take a sleep. Oh, by the way Mrs. Human the claw sharpening threads are fraying, please replace them – by tomorrow.”

“Is that a question or a command.”

“Don’t ask silly questions Mrs. Human.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Pens and Pencils and Claws

Daily Prompt: All Grown Up – in a feline way

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up feline (if ever)?

Tabby in the bathroom

“Mrs. Human, that’s me in the bathroom sink. I must try that out again.”

“Don’t bother Tabby, you would not fit.”

“That’s true, my legs need more room. Was I a kitten then?”

“No your kitten years were gone, you were a young cat.”

“I remember, they were my journeyman years, when I was active and ready to go.”

“Yes Tabby, and sometimes you disappeared for almost a complete day. I was worried and went on a search, but you were too busy with other things, although I never really found out what you was doing.”

“That is not a mystery Mrs. Human. You follow the scent of mouse or bird. I caught many mice in my younger years. Just sitting with your paw in a suspicious hole in the ground and wait until you feel the vibrations in your whiskers. Oh, those were the days. Many was the mouse I caught unawares. Birds were not so easy, so I compensated by a leap to a passing butterfly. They are really tasty, a gourmet meal if there ever was one.”

“But Tabby, they are so pretty and colourful.”

“Who cares Mrs, Human, and we godly felines are colour blind, so we do not share our colour appreciation with humans. Yes those were the days, young and agile.”

“And now?”

“Even we felines feel our age Mrs. Human. I let the butterflies fly and my bird catching days are now filled more with bird watching, but the thought of the chase is still in my whiskers. I remember my litter sister Nera, although she was technically a half sister, our mother did not take it so serious with the tom cats. Nera would give me advice how to catch a bird or mouse.”

“But Nera is no longer here.”

“Yes she left us for the eternal corn chambers. They wanted to send her to the rainbow bridge, but she did not want to sit around and wait until I joined her and Bastet our chief, decided her talents would be more useful keeping the corn free from vermin. Nera loves the job, she can eat all she catches, and is the boss of her section.”

“How comes you know all that?”

“Mrs. Human we are felines. Telepathy is one of our talents.”

“But Nera is no longer amongst us.”

“She might not be amongst you, but she is still giving the orders. What did you say Nera, don’t bother, humans are an inferior example of animal life, so just humour her. OK Nera, will do. Would you have a couple of mice, or perhaps a nice fat rat spare for dinner. Oh, fine, just throw it down here during the night, we don’t want the humans to notice. They get all funny when they see transparent felines walking around.”

“Tabby were you talking to Nera?”

“Of course.”

“But……”

“Forget it Mrs. Human, and now show me some kitten photos, I love looking at my baby pictures.”

Daily Prompt: All Grown Up – in a feline way

Take a Cat Nap

Fluffy in Dreamland

Tabby in the pampas

The Sleeping Nera

Life is just one big pause
Have a good lick
Turn three times in a circle
Lower your head
Scratch behind the ears
Close your eyes
And take a break

But remember
Keep one ear open
In case there is a pause interval
For a dish of food
Or perhaps one of our feline neighbours
Decides to take advantage of a pause
To move in on your territory

The problems of a feline life

 

Creative Challenge 230: Festive

Card

“Twas quiet in the house
You hear a whisker drop
The cats were waiting
And ready to hop

There was a sudden bang
And then he appeared
The Christmas cat arrived
He was wearing a beard

A knock at the window
Come cats let me in
It is I, me and myself
Where is tuna in the tin?

Tabby, Fluffy come quick
Where is the food?
Father Catmas has arrived
And in a good mood

Nera opened the window
Father Catmas was there
With a bag full of gifts
For the felines to share

“So Nera I have heard
you have been a good cat
Selfish and thoughtless
And have grown nice and fat

Here is something for you
The parcel is sealed
I am sure you are happy
A signed photo of Garfield”

“Oh thank you Father Catmas
I will hang it on my wall
So nice to wake up to
Garfield is so tall”

“For Tabby her favourite
Shall I give you a hint?
You get high and very merry
On a bag of cat mint”

“My favourite flavour
Oh what a surprise
Thankyou Father Catmas
Now I can roll my eyes”

“And now for Fluffy
You have been very fine
Here is some fresh salmon
And a bottle of cat wine”

Father Catmas you are great
There is so much to eat
Give Bast our best wishes
Oh, this is a treat”

Father Catmas munched his tuna
It was his favourite fish
“Oh cats you are great
what a wonderful dish”

And then he was gone
But cats do not fear
Keep the humans under control
He will be back the next year.

festive cats

Tricky

Three went for a walk over stick, over stone
It started to rain and they started to moan
“I am wet” said one, the other just coughed
The third shouted “come here, the ground is very soft”
So they lay down to rest and slept for a while
They were tired and were hungry, it was really not their style
“Who had this idea” said one to the other
“It really wasn’t me, it must have been our brother”
“I thought it would be nice and make a change” the brother said
“The next time keep your mouth shut, we just want to go to bed”
But they carried on heedless, they couldn’t be so picky
They had to cross a stream, it was becoming very tricky
And then there was movement, in the grass they saw a mouse
They wanted to stop, but was then they saw their house
They found energy to run, they reached home so much sooner
They knew a reward was waiting, three dishes of fresh tuna

It's tuna time for the cats

Empathy

Fluffy Multiply

There I go
Fluffy is the name
Sniffing my way along
Fastened with a lead
Why?
Don’t feel sorry for me
You can cast your empathy away
The word does not exist in the meow language
I see with my nose, with my ears
I do not need your feelings
Just feed me
Give me to drink
Hug me
And please do not forget the tuna fish
I need no human sympathy
I am blind

Stinking Thinking

Nera

“I will kill that dog that barks so loud
If he was not so big” cat Nera miaowed
“He chases me, hunts me and ruins my peace
He calls stupid cat and says I’m obese”

I will kill the mice that live in the field
I have claws in my paws, their fate is sealed
But they laugh and say “you are only a cat
you are slow and stupid and far too fat.”

I would kill a bird, if only I could fly
But the birds just laugh and say good bye
“Nera cat” they say “you might be our foe
But you are so fat you are very slow”.

So forget stinking thinking, birds, dogs, mice are scruffy
I tell you again I am not fat just fluffy
Just leave me alone, I have only one wish
A nice big round bowl full of tuna fish.

Solitude

Fluffy on the bed

Solitude is bliss
The ultimate in ecstasy
No-one here, just I, me and myself
Oh to feel my edged tongue on my silky fur
Licking all the contours,
biting out the foreign particles
Then to circle not once, twice, but three times
I sink into oblivion
Please leave me alone
with my solitude