Don’t bother me with silly questions. Sprouts do not breathe and you cannot kill them. I am not a vegetarian, I like a bit of meat between my teeth. I have nothing more to say on the subject.
Category Archives: Ragtag
Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Garden
I will never understand the human word “garden”. It does not exist in meow. We call it our recycling depositing tray. They are full of earth, and earth has only one purpose – to bury unwanted matter. Mrs. Human buries flowers in it, and strange objects that look like something that humans eat. She calls them “bulbs”, another word not existing in meow, and when the hunting season begins, usually when it gets warmer and the mice and birds are moving, these “bulbs” begin to grow an again you get flowers. Even the flowers she buries grow, but she says they are the seeds that the flowers produce. Who needs flowers?
What is the purpose of a flower. They do nothing, do not move. They grow and t some time in their life, they die and even then they are not worth eating. You an even get digestive problems from them. So what is the point. They just occupy digging space.
Speaking of digestion, that is the purpose of a garden. Your unwanted matter is in the garden, so cover it up with earth and move on. Gardens are a mystery to me. Mrs. Human even throws water over it when it does not rain. She says then her plants begin to grow. We do not want anything to grow, just leave the earth and perhaps dig it now and again to keep it soft. It makes it easier for the paw to cover up what you do not want to be seen.
I will never understand the human “garden”.
Feline RDP Monday: Feline Key
Who needs a key when I have four paws
I can open any door, not difficult, because
I can scrape at the wood and my human can hear
Although she can be sleeping and does not appear
I then meow louder, and now she is awake
But she still decides to neglect me, a typical mistake
And so I turn up the volume, the noise she cannot ignore
I push and I scratch, and then she opens the door
But now I am exhausted and my feelings are deep
I decided to give up and collapsed in a sleep
The solution to this problem is very plain to see
Give your felines an opposable thumbed door key
Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Colour
First of all I have a sniff and if it smells good I decide that I can eat it
Who cares what it looks like, as long as its juicy, you cannot really beat it
It seems to be dead, it is no longer breathing, looks a bit like mincemeat
It arrives in chunks swimming in juice, it is very tasty and I do not have to defeat
I don’t have to hunt it or follow it in the fields, it’s ready for my digestion
It has no colour, I really do not care, and it asks no rhetorical question
Colours do not live, they have no taste so why does it really matter
Now leave me alone, I must concentrate, do not want the meat to splatter
Daily Feline Prompt: Lost Feline
I never get lost, but I am a cat, I always find the way home
Just a twitch of the whiskers and a shiver of the tail warns me not to roam
I do it by smell, I cannot explain, but my nose sniffs the way to go
I take a straight path one paw after the other and the wind begins to blow
I smell the scent of the place where I live, even if I am far away
I know where I belong, where my food is waiting, and have no intention to stray
Have you ever seen a feline that is lost, the word exists not in meow
It is known as instinct for the unknowing humans, but they do not have the know-how
It exists in our bones, in our brain in our heart to find our dearest wish
But the best way to find us is filling our bowl with a portion of tuna fish
Feline RDP Friday: Feline Canal
In my bowl there is a river, but sometimes is a sea
It flows in circles, is very cool, and all belongs to me
Sometimes it rains into the pool and then becomes an ocean
I have to dip my paw in the bowl to stop the perpetual motion
Mrs. Human fills it daily, she has her own canal
It is the tasteless tap water, which I find quite banal
Humans have no taste for water, the best flows through the land
It collects the scents of earth and trees, which makes it very grand
It it rains I wait for a puddle and drink to my hearts delight
It is so spicy with lots of flavours, and has a definite bight
My water is a precious gift, I am always wanting more
And so I take precautions and trap it with my paw
Feline RDP Thursday: Intimate Feline
There are moments in the life of a feline that are intimate and private
But nothing is sacred to a human being and so she likes to revive it
My preening sessions are for my eyes only and their purpose to keep me healthy
But Mrs. Human thinks how sweet I am, and so she does a selfie
A little scratch here and another one there, to keep me pure and clean
Felines must take care of themselves to preserve their furry sheen
But this is something very private and so you will have to wait
There are things in my fur I must disperse and their details are intimate
