“Tabby what are you dashing around for?”
“I am not dashing around Mrs. Human, just exercising my paws, tail, whiskers, ears and nose, as well as my claws.”
“But you do not have to combine it with leaping from the bed and trying to climb the wall.”
“Of course I do Mrs. Human, it is all part of the feline action plan: be prepared at all times.”
“But what do you have to be prepared for?”
“For the case that it might happen.”
“What might happen?”
“No idea, but it is better to be prepare it case it does.”
“That does not sound very logial Tabby.”
“It doesm’t have to be logical, just feline.”
“Oh I see. How are you going to fit eating and sleeping into such a busy routine.”
“No problem.When I am exhausted I will collapse for a sleep and in between eat. And now out of my way, I need a straight path to the chair, from where I can jump down to the floor and climb the wall. Move, I am coming, I am having a cyclonic hour.”
“Oh I see.”
Feline RDP Friday: Feline Cyclone
At last fame and fortune. My super intelligence and good looks have been honoured by an article I wrote about my favourite subject, I, me and myself. Now your curiosity has been awakened and this time it does not kill the cat (stupid human saying) but honours the merits of my writing talents. Now you are all waiting and so here is the link:
The Life and Times of Tabby
I now have to go, it seems there is a telephone call from “Modern Cat” a magazine featuring famous felines. They wish to interview me on my human training programme.
Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Guest Post
Yes that’s me
down to a “T”,
The smartest cat on the block
I know all the answers,
a real freelancer
As reliable as a rock
I am very wise,
On me no flies
But that is plain to see
If they fly around,
I catch them with a paw
That is the talented me
You have a problem,
The mice have fled
I will hunt them down for food
Just give me tuna
Not later, but sooner
And I will have a good mood
Do not weep,
I will now have a sleep
To dream of the purpose of lives
It is quite clear,
no need to fear
So give me deserved high fives
Feline RDP Wednesday: Perspicacious Feline
This is the look I give Mrs. Human to show how hungry I am. I am pleading, begging, to be fed. Yes, humans can be so thoughtless. They think only of themselves and their food, but we poor felines have to wait. Admittedly there is always a bowl full with vitamin pellets, but she never asks why it is always full. The answer is clear. It is always full because the contents do not satisfy my needs. I do not need pellets, I want the real thing. It must be juicy, organic, recognisable as the part of an animal, or fish.
And so I look and stare. Suddenly Mrs. Human goes into action. She realises the feline neglect she incurs. She moves to the kitchen, empties half a packet (note only a half) into my bowl and I notice she adds a secret liquid, but I do not ask questions. All I want is my food. And then I go into action and wait and stare, although she gets quite annoyed when I sit behind her: something about causing an accident. Eventually after an eternity (she says only a few minutes) my food is served.
What can a feline do under these circumstances. Just look and wait.
Feline RDP Tuesday: Hungry Feline
I dazzle them all
My aura is bright
I glow and shine
Be it day or night
I have many fans
coming from far and wide
They request my paw print
I am so dignified
Felines queue at the cat flap
for a view of my silky fur
They swoon for a glimpse
and to hear my unique purr
I cannot help it
Am an irresistible cat
Champion of the year
A genuine aristocrat
Feline RDP Monday: Dazzling Feline
Me, a chest? Forget it. I have everything I need: a food bowl is enough. Just fill it up- Preferably with something juicy that melts in the mouth. No hard chewing on vitamin pellets. You can put them in a chest, lock it and sink it in the nearest puddle. I like my food to have once lived and breathed. I have no taste for hard pellets that I have to chew.
Then I need a nice garden to bury my recycled matter in Summer, otherwise a tray for indoor purposes. You cannot expect me to go out in the cold wet weather when I have private business to deal with.
And of course the wide open spaces I can claim as my territory. All of that you cannot lock away in a chest. I even let Mrs. Human have free movement. Otherwise she would not be able to tend to all my desires. I must pay attention that I get enough sleep, and that you also cannot store in a chest.
Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Chest
Of course I have a coast. I call it the border which separates my territory from the others. Who needs water? I just spray my own supply on the bordering grass to establish my rights. All other felines are aware where my territory begins and ends, they can smell it. The cat next door, known as Roschti, has had his eyes of my part of the landscape for many years, but I put my paw down to warn him. Now and again he takes a walk through to get to his own territory. I gave him a special whisker permission to cross through my area to his territory in return for keeping any other felines out of my place. Sometimes even we felines must reach agreements. I also prevent feline intrusion on Roschti’s territory. We reached a special paw swiping agreement.
As a feline you can never be too careful. Sometimes there might be a territorial dispute with sharpened claws and hisses, but I have my own cat flap for a quick escape. Fight back? You must be mad. I only have 5 lives left from my 9 and am not prepared to risk more just for a coastal dispute.
Here you can see Roschti guarding his territory, he likes to make it comfortable. As his territory borders on mine, it serves both our purposes and I would not like to cross with Roschti, he can get quit annoyed.
Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Coast