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Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Fleek

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Tabby

“Tabby what are you doing on that wall again?”

“Obvious Mrs. Human, I am having a fleek.”

“A what?”

“A fleek. You have never heard of it? It comes from a very old feline civilisation. It is one of the first words to be registered in the meow language.  Of could you must say it “fleemeoweek” but translation into human it means fleek.”

“But it is not a human word.”

“Of course not, it was influenced by the ancient felines back on planet Koschka before they took over the earth. They were fleeking all over the place. One of the reasons why the humans stopped sitting in the trees.”

“Tabby we were not sitting in the trees. We were then already lighting fires with sparks from stones or rubbing sticks together.”

“OK, but we felines then had two long teeth and were watching the silly humans. We just grew our fur coats a little longer and did not need a fire. And of course, we had fleek.”

“That may be Tabby, but come down from that wall.”

“Not possible Mrs. Human. The wall decided I should stay here for a conversation of “to fleek or not to fleek”. Such things must be discussed to clarify matters. Are you fleeking tonight Mrs. Human.”

“No Tabby, I am not fleeking, but preparing a bowl of tuna fish.”

“Ok, but you should perhaps put the bowl on the top of wall so that I can share it.”

“Who do you want to share it with.”

“The wall of course, although it just told me it has no digestive organs. It is quite happy to watch me enjoy the tuna fish. And don’t forget to fleek it a little, Mrs. Human.”

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Fleek

Feline RDP Monday: Not Plump but Fluffy

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Nera having a sun bathe

This is my sister Nera. We were born in the same litter and she was the first one out, and  she never let me forget it. She was the boss and I was always the assistant. I am not sure who her dad was, but we felines do not talk about things like that. Obviously she does not have my sexy slim shape, but is more on the plump side.

I once called her fatty, but only once. She gave me a paw swipe and a few hisses. Her famous words were then uttered “I am not fat, but fluffy”. She was proud to be fluffy although she had a few problems. If you sit on a snail with a fluffy coat, and are somewhat on the heavy side, you would not notice and the snail would stay in the coat. Snails are sticky objects, She also had her problems with tics, or they had their problems with her. But as I said, she was not fat, and not even heavy, because she was my sister.

She is the proof that some felines eat too many vitamin pellets. She was never a fussy eater, if the bowl was full, she would empty it and even meow for more. Of course she was partial to a bowl of tuna fish. I would always wait until she was finished with her portion, hoping there might be some more for me afterwards, but no. She did not believe in wasting food. Once a year she would have a hair cut at the vets, but even with the fluff removed, she was still quite round in shape.

She is now living her 10th life in the eternal corn chambers, keeping them free of mice. Mice was one of her favourites and so was bird. But she was not fat or plump, just fluffy.

Nera sunbathing

Just remember, she ain’t heavy, she’s my sister.

Feline RDP Monday: Not Plump but Fluffy

Feline RDP #85: Fluffy Feline

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Tabby and Fluffy

The good looking super feline on the left is me of course. On the right my apprentice Fluffy. I trained him for 12 years until he decided that the 10th life hunting mice in the eternal corn chambers was more his thing. Mrs. Human decided that I needed a new companion and so Fluffy arrived. I was getting on OK with I, me and myself and my litter sister Nera, but one day this fluffy little thing arrived and I had the job to educate him in the ways of our cat family. Fluffy was not like me, he was something different, one of those cats with papers to his name. I just had a book for the vet, but he had a family tree. What is the point? All my family looked different to each other, we liked variety, but Fluffy came from a long line of so called Selkirk Rex, all with the same coloured fur and curls. He even knew his great grandfathers name. I don’t even know my dad’s name. Of course I did my best to ignore all his airs and graces, after all he buried his recycling products the same as we all did and it even smelt the same.

Fluffy was OK, one or two paw swipes and he realised who the boss was. He was blind, couldn’t see a thing, some sort of accident, but Fluffy did not realised he was blind. Now that did cause a few problems now and again when he decided to take a walk. I don’t know what the fuss was about, but Mrs. Human would have one of those hysterical attacks when she couldn’t find him, although he always turned up again. Perhaps the neighbours found him, or it might have been Mr. and Mrs. Human who would organise a search expedition armed with their mobile phones. I must admit I did sometimes forget to close the door and give him a nudge. He did not need asking twice, he was soon out and about.

Yes I did have some fun with Fluffy. I sometimes even miss him.

Tabby and Fluffy

Feline RDP #85: Fluffy Feline

Feline RDP #55: Feline Travel

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Tabby

Of course I travel, but I have such a stress that I hardly have the time. I have my sleeping duties to perform, combined with regular washing and then of course I have to fit the meals in when I am awake. If only the day had more hours.

I usually combine the travelling with territory inspection. My territory is marked with my signs and there are always other felines that are planning on taking over. There is a barrier surrounding my territory where the machines with wheels have taken over. If only the humans had stayed in the trees where they belong. They made a big mistake when they decided to invent the wheel. Life was so peaceful. Now we felines cannot extend our territories because of the wheeled monsters.

Now and again I have to travel in one of things on wheels, but where do I go? I am travelling, but not to a feline holiday camp, only to the vet where I am subjected to one horror after the other in the name of being good for me. They jab me  and stick some sort of instrument in my private part. Afterwards the vet says everything under control.  I do not feel very much under control, my dignity is injured. Good for me I understand as being fed with tuna fish every day and being left in peace and quiet to sleep with no unwanted disturbances. Humans should be seen and not heard and only  be available for the feline needs.

And now I shall travel to my bed for a relaxing sleep.

Feline RDP #55: Feline Travel

Feline RDP #28: Feline Reduction

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Tabby

“Sleeping again Tabby?”

“No, I am just saving my energy for later.”

“For later? Are you planning to go on a long walk?”

“Of course not, walking is for kittens. We senior felines like to conserve our strength and sleep is the best method.”

“What are you conserving your strength for?”

“That is obvious. For further sleep exercises.”

“You mean you have to sleep to be able to sleep more.”

“Of course. Sleep is hard work. I have to  keep one part of my brain awake. A complete shut down is not possible, I might miss something. Even my wall is never completely asleep. There is always a brick somewhere paying attention.”

“Tabby, walls do not live, they are dead material, so forget it.”

“Walls are very much alive, I communicate with the wall constantly. Did you see that white mark on the brick at the top of the wall.?”

“That was where a crow deposited its re-cycling matter.”

“I know and my wall had one sleepless night because of that. It feels reduced and alone.  you should really take more care of walls, and keep it clean.”

“I will Tabby, but not because of the wall, but because the wall looks better without the crow recycling marks on it.”

“Typical human, thinks only of herself and not of the wall.”

“Tabby, you also only think of yourself.”

“That is not true Mrs. Human. I had a sleepless five minutes thinking about the wall. And now to continue with my sleep.  I must really build up my strength. Tell your phone to wake me in two hours where I expect a plate of tuna fish and not those dry pellets. They will be the death of me one day.”

“But they are healthy.”

“Who says so? I have never heard a feline praise a vitamin pellet, and we have to eat them.”

Feline RDP #28: Feline Reduction

Feline RDP #21: Italian Feline

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Tabby

“Mrs. Human take that smelly green thing away. I had to squeeze through the window to avoid it.”

“But Tabby, today the theme for your blog is Italian and it is basil. The leaves go very well with tomatoes and cheese.”

“I am sure they do Mrs. Human, but it is not something that I like to include in my diet.”

“But today we had spaghetti for lunch, which is typical Italian food and you enjoyed the sample I gave you.”

“Oh yes, it was very good, I just had to separate the meat from the white worms. I do not eat worms.”

“But that was the spaghetti.”

“It was a dead worm. I stared at it for a while and noticed it did not move, so it must have been dead. Italians must be funny people if they eat dead white worms.”

“It is typical Italian food.”

“Are Italians also humans?”

“Of course they are Tabby, they just live in another country and speak a different language.”

“You mean something like Persian felines, or Ragdoll cats. You can even get cats with no fur, like that one that lived on the other side of my territory. Roschti the feline next door is also different to me, he doesn’t have the Macdonalds “M” on his forehead, and is something they call ginger, but we all speak meow. Even the Siamese felines speak meow, the same as I do. Humans are funny, they do not understand each other because they speak different languages. If I hiss all the felines understand me.”

“Well we have that in common Tabby. If I hiss, or scream in human, all the humans understand me.”

“So humans only understand each other when they are fighting.”

“We try to learn each other’s languages.”

“You see, we felines have no problems, we are international, that is why we were once worshiped as gods, everyone understood us. Now look at the world, everyone having problems with their territorial rights and they don’t even meow in the same language. I say bring the felines back to organise everything and put the humans back in the trees. By the way Mrs. Human, do you like bananas?

Feline RDP #21: Italian Feline

Meow

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Tabby

You found me, good. They pushed me out of the daily prompts and said they did not want me any more. Me, the best thing that ever happened since the tin opener. I have now created my own little place. Just give me a pawshake and say a meow and you will find me every day, unless I might oversleep. That can happen now and again.

Today was smooth runnings. I awoke to a fresh day with sunshine and noises of the slugs advancing in the undergrowth, so changed my position to inside where it was quiet and less sticky from the slugs. I decided to sleep a few hours. In the distance I heard Mr.and Mrs. Human leaving on a   quest for more tins of tuna fish I hope. She said something about week-end shopping. They returned and woke me up with noises of getting things ready for their dinner. Unfortunately they do not eat tuna fish, but they had some salmon so I sat next to the table staring to give them a bad conscience until they gave me some.

An hour later Mrs. Human decided to sleep so I joined her. Funny that humans do not sleep as much as we felines. And now I a taking a few minutes rest in the garden. Life can be so exhausting. Now and again I changed my position due to the sun moving which can be very annoying. Suns should stay where they are.

It looks like it will be an exciting evening. I decided to stay outside, when the sun goes down, on the nice warm tiles on the patio. It is then that I become a cat on a hot tiled patio.