Daily Feline Prompt: Winsome Feline

Tabby

I am so beautiful, I look so good
My whiskers would launch ships, I know that they could
I am wasted at home, I am really a star
I should be in Hollywood, but that is too far
Other felines are jealous, because I am good looking
They ask me how I do it and what I have cooking
I tell them it is natural, I was the best in the book
It is the inside values that count, and not just the look
My hear is pure, it could make you weep
The secret is my talent to get enough sleep
23 hours a day and an hour to seek
For a new sleeping place each day of the week

Winsome Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Cozy Feline

Tabby

“Just a minute Mrs. Human, where do you think you’re going?”

“I will be in the kitchen if your need me, Tabby.”

“I did not give you permission to leave, I need your attention.”

“Is something wrong? You look so cozy laying on the bathroom carpet. You can stay there, If I need the bathroom I can always use the shower. I don’t want to cause any inconvenience. What service do you require?”

“I am in dire need of a tummy tickle. Here I am relaxing on the carpet on a heated floor and you think that is enough. I need a human hand to perhaps give me a few attentative rubs on the tummy and afterwards you may move to my chin and stroke it.”

“Is that all Tabby, nothing else?”

“I am thinking about it, but for now it will suffice. And begin perhaps with the chin, the tummy can follow.”

“But I have other important things to do.”

“Nothing is more important than the care of your feline. You will be rewarded Mrs. Human.”

“You are going to give me something? I never knew you could be so considerate.”

“I am not hard hearted Mrs. Human. Even I like to share my purrs with you when I am contented.”

“Share your purrs? What am I supposed to do with them.”

“Cherish them and know that you are treating your feline with the care she deserves”

“But I really must go to the kitchen.”

“What is more important that caring for your feline owner.”

“I was going to open a tin of tuna fish and…..”

“OK Mrs. Human, then stop wasting your time on tummy tickles and chin stroking when thre are more important things to do.”

“But Tabby.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Cozy Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Proclivity

Tabby

Or “The do’s and dont’s of a Feline Life”

Do not scratch the furniture!

I do not scratch the furniture. I make beautiful patterns and it is an exercise for filing my claws to a fine point and keeping them ready for scratching at all times. You never know when a territorial protection would be called for against other invading felines, or even humans.

Do not spread your recycling litter on the floor!

Now this really infiltrates my intimate sphere The recycling tray is for a purpose. It is filled with covering material. If Mrs. Human had a recycling tray insetead of her water bowl I am sure she would have problems. I always spread a little litter around my tray when I am finished to show that I have been there and done it. Mrs. Human says it blocks her noisy anti feline vacuum cleaner that she uses to remove traces surrounding the tray. Covering the recycled matter is a work of art, and  I do it perfectly.

Leave the bathroom!

There I am settling into a nice comfortable sleep, with protective walls on all sides, and I must leave. No reason is given, but it seems I am in the way. I am never in the way, I told Mrs. Human it is a matter of interpretation and I have nothing against sharing the bathroom as long as she stays on her side.

Do not sit on the laundry!

I do not sit on it, I sleep on it. One of my favourite places.

Do not manufacture hairballs on the carpet!

And where else should I produce a hairball? The wooden floor is not so convenient, the ball rolls away and is partially absorbed by the wood. The carpet is perfect. The hairball attracts material from the carpet which makes it stick together and keep its unique shape.

Yes the life of a feline is full or forbidden actions and no-one listens to a feline that was once worshipped as a god in its own right.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Proclivity

Daily Feline Prompt: Mild Feline

Tabby

It’s Catmas at last. Will I get my diamond studied collar, perhaps my Versace designed food bowl, or even the long awaited Swarovski crystal studied catflap? Mrs. Human said I should be glad to have a bowl of food every day, even if it is only hard vitamin pellets.

In the meanwhile I will enjoy thinking about the delicious meals on wings in front of the window in the birdhouse. After all it is catmas and the birds have birdmas I suppose.

And now time to sleep. I have even put out a bowl of vitamin pellets for Santa Cat and a hairball. Oh, I just heard a noise, I think Mrs. Human has discovered my hairball and she is not very happy because she trod on it. I will have to produce another one now. Santa Cat always looks forward to my Christmas hairball.

Daily Feline Prompt: Mil Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Surreal Feline

Tabby

“Look Mrs. Human, I have won my battle against the builders.”

“No, Tabby, the builders have finished their work and have now gone away.”

“But I threatened them with my claws and my teeth and made ferocious hissing noises. They packed their machines and left.”

“Really Tabby. Whenever a builder appeared you ran inside.”

“That was not because of the builders. I wanted to keep an eye on them and it was easier through the window. I saw how they were shaking with fright when they saw me. Of course, I had to enlist support to scare them away.”

“You had someone that helped.+

“Of course, the leaf soldiers appeared on the scene just at the right time. At first the builders were surrounding me with their noise making machines, and then the leaves began to fall on them. It was then that they began to leave. There were leaves everywhere, it was a battle betwen the builders and the leaves.”

“And where were you.?”

“I was directing the attack from the top of my friend, the wall. The first attack was made by the brown leaves, but then came the red leaves. Eventally the yellow leaves arrived and the builders ran. They could not take more. They were knee deep in leaves.”

“Are you sure they left because of your devious plans. It all sounds very surreal to me.”

“They had no choice, but to remove all the metal cages they had built as they were full of leaves. The leaves are still here watching in case there will be another danger appearing. I am now protecting the grass, which had disappeared long ago. My 9-4 lives are again worth living since the grass returned. I just keep an eye on the leaf soldiers, as I heard they were going underground to make plans for their next attack next year.”

“Yes of course Tabby, never trust a leaf, they return every year and are a threat to your existence.”

“At last you realise the danger of the situation Mrs. Human. Leaves are not surreal, but a reality and I  can manipulate them. Even the builders hide from the leaf soldiers.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Surreal Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Express Feline

Tabby

Express does not exist in meow, for that I have a human. Of course I need everything express and so my human slave must read my wishes from my whiskers. I trained her for that.

“Mrs. Human, I am hungry.”

“Yes at once Tabby, what would you like?”

“A bowl of tuna garnished with a leaf of tarragon.”

“Oh, sorry Tabby, but I do not have tarragon, would perhaps some chopped chives do it as well.”

“Mrs. Human you should really remember to note my needs. If this continues one day you will forget the tuna fish and then what would we do?”

“No problem Tabby, I always have a large bag of vitamin pellets as a reserve.”

“That is not the solution Mrs. Human. You should have a reserve of tuna fish.”

You see what I mean, this is becoming a regular event. Mrs. Human does not concentrate on the necessisities of life.

“Mrs. Human, my recycling tray needs emptying.”

“What again Tabby, but I only emptiesd it a few minutes ago and do not spread the litter around when you are finished. I have to collect it.”

“Mrs. Human I do not time my recycling process, it just happens. You are employed to look after my needs. And do not foget to sweep behind the tray.”

“Of course Tabby, at once.*

I remember when I employed her on the slave market, it said she had experience with felines but it was very elementary. I had to teach her to organise bowls of water in various strategic places so that I could save time searching for the next supply. There is also a case of the vitamin pellets. I suspect it was the vet that told her they were good for me. The only good thing about them is the hairball production. They bind the hairs nicely. There was also a problem of sleeping places, and keeping human bedroom doors closed. I soon showed her that this was an impediment to my sleep process and now she leaves the doors open, although insults me by spreading a cover on her bed.

“So Mrs. Human, time for my evening meal, and do not stir the ingredients. I prefer my fish pure and not shaken. And a side dish of catmint to promote my inner senses of being.”

“But Tabby you get high on catnip.”

“Of course, it is part of the cat experience.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Express Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Interests

Tabby

The life of a feline is full of stress. We hardly have time for interests. From the moment I awake in the morning I am exhausted from my sleep and I have to sleep a further few hours to recover from my sleep stress. There is no rest for a feline, we are continuously busy. Of course I have interests, mainly in wild life. I could watch the birds for hours if I had the time, but even watching birds is hard work and I often fall asleep whilst cocentrating. Waiting for a mouse to appear can also be very exhausting. I wait for hours with a paw in the entrance to its tunnel, but eventually I fall asleep and then the mouse escapes.

Another interest I have is food. Not the hard vitamin pellets that you have to chew because the chewing actions tire my mouth muscles and I have to take an after dinner sleep. Eating tuna fish is more relaxing. The fish slides down with hardly any vigorous chewing motions, helped by the accompanying juices. I still take an after dinner sleep for the digestion.

I have a territory to guard from invaders which is also very tiring. I have my friends, such as walls and bricks that I must entertain with lively conversations. Staring at walls can be very exhausting, but nothing that a few hours sleep cannot cure. Yes, life is action packed for a feline and we are glad to be able to turn in three circles until we find the most comfortable position, for a sleep of course. We are hard workers and the most exhausting part of life is finding a new place to sleep. Our time is limited. The day has only 24 hours and when you fulfil your sleeping quota of 23 hours, there is only one hour left to pack all the other parts of the feline work day into.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Interests