Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Genie

Tabby

“There you are Tabby, I was looking for you everywhere. I was quite worried, where were you”

“I was patrolling my territory.”

“But you were gone for some time. I thought something might have happened.”

“I am old enough to look after myself Mrs. Human. I have to check now and again to ensure that there are no invaders. Roschti, the ginger tom next door, has had his eye on my realm for some time.”

“But Tabby, there is enough space here for both of you.”

“I know Mrs. Human, but territory is not something that you share. If you let one feline in, they all arrive. Perhaps you should install an electric fence around my area, with alarm signals. Yes, that would be ideal. You could then tell the invaders to go when there is a signal.”

“No Tabby, we live in a village, and not in a prison. Humans respect each others possessions.”

“Respect? Does not exist in meow Mrs. Human. Every feline is ready to grab what is not secure. Perhaps you could organise floodlights to illuminate my territory at night. That would keep them away.”

“But Tabby, it would also keep the birds and mice away.”

“Now that is a problem of course. The main items of my feline diet would be gone. There is only one solution Mrs. Human. You must be more observant and guard what is mine.”

“Perhaps I should get a dog. A dog would keep other felines away.”

“Forget it, I see that this conversation is leading nowhere.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Genie

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Haul

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, what are you doing?”

“I am closing the computer.”

“But my prompt?”

“Sorry Tabby, but I do not have the time. I was out this afternoon and have other things to do.”

“What about me, you are ignoring me, how selfish.”

“I am not being selfish Tabby, but I have other things to do. ”

“You should really ask my permission before going on walks in the afternoon. I have things to tell my followers about my interesting day. They will be disappointed.”

“You had an interesting day?”

“I always have interesting days Mrs. Human. Today I washed myself at least three times from ears to paws and had a scratch.”

“Is that all?”

“Is that all? I had to sleep in between to recover. It was constant stress and ┬ámunching hard vitamin pellets is hard work. I am now exhausted. I missed my ration of tuna fish.”

“But you had vitamin pellets.”

“That is not enough, you are neglecting me Mrs. Human. You should really think more of my me, I feel neglected and I am the most important thing in your life, the only important thing. You go for long walks without me and ignore my requirements. I could have suffocated on a vitamin pellet.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Don’t change the subject. I will now take a sleep so do not make any unnecessary noise.”

“Of course not Tabby, I read the wishes from your whiskers as always.”

“And so it should be.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Haul

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Quartet

Tabby

“Tabby, what are you doing there all alone?”

“Sleeping, have a problem Mrs. Human?”

“I though you were inviting three friends so that I could take a nice photo of your all together for the album and you could perhaps make music together.”

“You mean we could hiss in harmony. You thought wrong Mrs. Human, I do not have three friends, I do not even have one friend.”

“You have me Tabby.”

“I could hardly call a human a friend. That is all composed of give and take Mrs. Human. You give and I take.”

“I won’t dispute that Tabby, but you must have a nice feline somewhere that you can share with.”

“Mrs. Human, I must correct a few facts of feline life. In meow the word “share” does not exist not to mention “friend” and “nice” is non-existant.. Never trust another feline and sharing does not come into the question. The album is full of photos of I, me and myself, there is no room for other felines.”

“It must be a very lonely life you lead Tabby.”

“Yes it is, the perfect life. Everything is mine, it all belongs to me. If there were other felines we would be fighting because they would want to take it all over, and here is my territory. Yes, the life of a feline can be lonely, but it is a happy life with no complications.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Quartett

Daily Feline Prompt: Patient Tabby

Tabby in cupboard

There she goes again, Mrs. Human calling me everywhere. She shut me in the cupboard, I could have suffocated, even lost a life and she didn’t care. If she leaves a cupboard door open, it is an invitation for a nice long sleep. with no disturbances. When she begins to call my name, increasing the volume constantly, I know that she is missing me. That is her problem of course, I am quite comfortable in this cupboard. It smells good and it is the perfection of comfort, the feeling you get when you sleep on the washing basket.

Here she comes again.

“Tabby, Tabby where are you?”

Now she has a tone of panic in her voice, imagining that I have disappeared forever. Shall I release her from her misery, with a meow? “Meow wow, Meow.”

She has walked on and ignored my cries for help. This could become a problem. Perhaps she will never find me. I will become a skeletal cat, just bones. I will starve, drastic measures are now required. I will have to attack the cupboard. Meow wow, scratch scratch. I can hear her approaching calling my name. “Mrs. Human I am here and suffocating. I am dying of hunger and thirst. ”

“Tabby here you are in the cupboard. I have been searching everywhere.”

“You locked me in the cupboard, robbed me of my freedom, left me to die.”

“Don’t overdo it Tabby, you were only missing for a few minutes.”

“Those few minutes could be a difference between life and death. I had no air, I was suffocating.”

“You look all right to me Tabby, and quite comfortable.”

“Of course, I was putting a brave face on the whole thing, and now you can release me.”

“Tabby I did not lock you in the cupboard. You only need to give the door a gentle push from the inside and it would have opened.”

“That is not the solution, I have to do everything myself. I have certainly lost some weight, look how thin my tail has become. ”

“Looks OK, to me, perhaps you should go and replenish your lost energy with a nice bowl of vitamin pellets.”

“Forget it, I will stay where I am, so close the cupboard door, it is draughty.”

“But I thought…..”

“Forget it Mrs. Human, have rethought the problem.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Patient Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Noise

Tabby

I don’t like noise. We felines are peaceful creatures and never make a meow too many. Meows are necessary to remind humans that we are there, otherwise they might forget us because we are so quiet. Do you hear a feline approaching? Of course not, our paws are padded and we are trained to creep up on our prey. Humans wear something called shoes and shoes make noise. It can be a stress on the ears when your human approaches. First of all there are vibrations that sound as if an army would be preparing for an attack and then they open their mouths and utter strange noises which sound like an explosion to the sensitive feline ear.

If only humans could use telepathy as we felines do. On the other paw it would not be such a good idea, they would know what we are thinking.

Of course there are noises which are acceptable to the feline ear. The sound of the tin opener is the ouverture to a symphony. The clank of it being removed from its place and then the impact of it hitting the tin. That is when the flavours are released and penetrate our nose with a promise of tuna fish for a meal. As soon as I hear the tin opener chorus, I join in, to complete the opera.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Noise

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Permit

Tabby Immunisation Permit 31.03 (2)

Ok fans, do not be disappointed, but there is no wonderful unique photo of me today. We are now talking about the facts of life and I do not show everyone my secret documents, but here it is. My name just says Tabby, because there was not enough room for Her Highness, Princess Tabby, carrier of the order of the feline whiskers, so we had to keep it short. Note I was born on 2nd April 2002, so mark this date in your records. You no longer have an excuse to forget my birthday and to send a tin of tuna fish: or a sprig of catnip. Of course the description “Hauskatze” is not so accurate. Me, an average house cat, no way. They fogot to note “Former Goddess, worshipped by humans”, but again the writing space was limited.

It is also an affront to read Mrs. Human’s name on the first page of this document, as if I would belong to her. We all now the oppostite is the truth. On the left there are entry requirements, in the case that I wish to conquer a new territory.┬áThis is probably for the case that I would take over new territory, but Mrs. Human says it is if I would leave the country, which for me is the same.

Tabby Immunisation Permit 31.03 (1)

What I don’t understand is that we regal felines are subjected to the degrading examinations of private parts and jabs , including weigh-ins and teeth scraping to prove how good we are. What about the humans. Do they have a permit to show that they are perfect. Every year the same procedure and not even a tin of tuna fish as compensation.

Kittens if you are reading this, do not worry. You will survive. Just be brave and do not forget to bite and scratch if you ever hear the word vet. We have a reputation to maintain for the future of the feline nation.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Permit

Daily Feline Prompt: Winsome Feline

Tabby

I am so beautiful, I look so good
My whiskers would launch ships, I know that they could
I am wasted at home, I am really a star
I should be in Hollywood, but that is too far
Other felines are jealous, because I am good looking
They ask me how I do it and what I have cooking
I tell them it is natural, I was the best in the book
It is the inside values that count, and not just the look
My hear is pure, it could make you weep
The secret is my talent to get enough sleep
23 hours a day and an hour to seek
For a new sleeping place each day of the week

Winsome Feline