Daily Feline Prompt: Unmoored Feline

Tabby

I am off to experience what the world holds for me. I said goodbye to my various beds, my hairball collection and my bowls of water. I did not say goodbye to my bowl of hard vitamin pellets the “are good for you” because I never really found them good for me. They were not easy to swallow, although I must say they were ideal ingredients for a perfectly shaped hair ball.

I did not say goodbye to Mrs. Human, she would not understand it. The sun is shining and I am on my way saying goodbye to the tree where I like to lay for its shade when the sun is shining. I wave goodbye to my favourite wall where I would have so many enlightening conversations as well as my unopened tins of tuna fish.

I left a note for Mrs. Human to say not to worry. I must go on a quest to find my purpose in life. As the Dalai Feline said “Our prime purpose in this life is to help other felines. And if you can’t help them, then forget it”. Yes so are we felines, always thinking of ourselves.

So I am on my way, but just a moment. Do I really want to leave my home which has that familiar smell and feeling about it? To leave my humn slaves who have no other purpose in their insginificant human lives but to fill my food bowls and empty my recycling tray. How can I be so selfish? If I am no longer in my home Mrs. Human will have no purpose in her human life. Her one aim is to ensure that I lack nothing, that all my wishes are fulfilled and read from my whiskers. No I cannot do this, I must return to my territory. Oh, I am still in my territory, well it is a large territory. My Paws are aching, I feel exhusted. I must take a rest, but not here. I will return.

“Hello Tabby, where have you been?”

“I was leaving home Mrs. Human.”

“Oh dear, were you unhappy?”

“No, of course not, does not exist in meow. I wanted to go places and see things.”

“And did you?”

“Of course, I reached the borders of my territory.”

“And you returned?”

“I could hear the sound of the tin opener and smell the scent of tuna fish in the air.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Unmoored Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Descent of a Feline

Tabby

“Be careful Tabby.”

“Er, Mrs. Human I am feline, you know, the most perfect creatures. We were designed to achieve everything. Have you ever seen a feline that falls and is laying on its back afterwards. Have you ever had to call for an ambulance because I happened  lose a paw on the way.”

“But you have been lucky Tabby.”

“It has nothing to do with luck. If a human survives it calls it luck. We felines do not need luck, because we can do it. We are first and the best at everything. We overcome the law of gravity, it is unnecessary for felines. We only invented gravity to give the humans something to think about.”

” I thought gravity was not an invention, it just existed.”

“There you have it again. You see how much we felines are underestimated. It was Sir Isaac Paws Newton that decided to call it gravity, after a tin of tuna fish fell on his head when reaching for it in his human’s cupboard.”

“Oh, I must have misunderstood the human science laws. But Tabby you once missed a step when descending your feline ladder.”

“I did not, I did that on purpose just to show how clever I was to reach the last step with no problems. I just wanted to make it look more difficult as Roschti, the feline next door was watching. He afterwards spread the word how clever I am and my feline status increased by 10 points in the neighbourhood. I am the best, the most perfect.”

“Tabby, do not overdo it with your self praise, the higher they climb the steeper they fall.”

“That might pertain to humans, but we felines are too perfect.”

“Then be careful when you walk across the grid outside. There is a steep fall next to it.”

“That is to enhance the suspense Mrs. Human. It makes the humans go “oooh” and “aaah” when I succeed in crossing it to arrive at the other side perfectly.”

“But I notice you sometimes descend and afterwards ascend again.”

“That is only to show how versatile I am. Mrs. Human I am just too perfect.”

“Yes Tabby, I must admit. You surprise me every day with your talents.”

“Mrs. Human are you laughing.”

“Of course not Tabby.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Descent of a Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: The Notorious Feline

Tabby

The seek me here, they seek me there
But I am crafty, and I do not care
I sleep all day, with an hour to save
I need that hour to be very brave
Life is tiring and I need my rest
That hour is important to do my best
to find a place to rest my head
after 23 hours sleep, I need another bed
Sleep makes tired, and hungry too
I grab a few bites so I won’t feel so blue
I might take a walk to find a new place
to rest my weary limbs and wash my face
Oh the duties of a feline can be such a strain
My eyes are closing, I must rest my brain
My reputation is fantastic, I am so glorious
But you must beware, I am also notorious

Daily Feline Prompt: The Notorious Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline farce

Tabby

“And again I take steps into the great unknow, heedless of the dangers laying in my path. There may be stones, boulders, mountains, but I can conquer them all with my bravey and fearless determination.”

“Tabby what are you meowing about, ther is no danger, and enough space for you to move in between the rubble.”

“Shhh, Mrs. Human, they might hear you?”

“Who might hear me. There is no-one here.”

“We are being observed on every pawed blog I write.”

“I thought you pawed your blogs for them to be seen.”

“Today they told me that my stats are booming and the Cat Chronicles is getting a lot of traffic. Does that mean that I will now become famous and pehaps become feline blogger of the year.”

“Not really Tabby, it just means tht more humans are reading what you write today.”

“Perhaps I should charge to read my blogs.”

“No Tabby, I have to pay for you to blog, it does not work like that.”

“Well, that is a farce. No point in congratulating me for somehting I have to pay for.”

“That’s life Tabby, no reward without investing some energy.”

“In that case I will return after conquering the stones and rubble of my territory although I should leave a mark before I go.”

“No, Tabby, that woul not be so good.”

“Wrong, I have been there and done that, and would definitely get more booming stats tomorrow if I do it.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Farce

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Precipice

Tabby

There I am again standing on the precipice of risk. There was a day when I could leave my home and wander into my territory without a care in the feline world. Even a fight with Roschti, the feline next door, armed with claws and teeth, was a piece of cake/tuna fish in comparison. Now I have to think about it since this empty chasm exists between me and my realm and territory. There must be a devious plan afoot. There is a new tribe of humans, called builders. One day they began to dig – not with shovels, but with machines. Eventually my home was surrounded by this deep chasm.

I did not give my permission and they did not ask me. They have no respect for the felines that were once worshipped as gods. If the pharoahs in the old country had remained, humans would be taking orders from us. They would be bowing down to us and bringing tuna fish, caviar, bird fricasse and mouse chateau briand on silver dishes. Instead we must be satisfied with hard tasteless wannabe tuna fish in the shape of vitamin pellets. I am diverging.

So I am now confronted with a precipice, in life and in reality. First of all I look up, as it would be embarrissing if I was being watched by another feline. If i fell and stumbled on the precipice I would be the joke of the local feline tribe. I am alone, but I will do it with style. One paw before the other to descend the slope. Shall I climb the opposite side or take one of my delicate jumps? I decided on the jump and now I am on the other side and ready to defend my territoriy from other marauding felines. I am not alone in my battle against the evil builders. I just met Roschti. He is exhausted because he also had to conquer his own precipice. We are now felines with a cause – may the builders fall down their precipices.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Precipice

Daily Feline Prompt: Qualmed Feline

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, do I really have to go through this obstacle course every time I want to inspect my territory. I am getting qualmed muscles from crawling under this gate. ”

“Perhaps you could take the path at the side, instead of under the gate?”

“Taking the path at the side means climbing into the ditch and climbing up again.”

“But you can do that very well.”

“Of course I can, but my paws are qualmed and  dirty and I have to wash them afterwards. It never used to be like this. I am getting no respect from those humans with the qualming noise machines. I cannot even indulge in wall watching at the moment. Every time I find a nice comfortable wall and get ready to watch it, they begin to demolish the wall. How can a feline examine the details of a wall and its feelings when they just take a machine and destroy it. They have no respect for anything, not even for a wall.”

“But Tabby it is their job to remove walls that are no longer necessary. And they are not removing the actual wall, but the insulation on the wall. It will be replaced afterwards.”

“Mrs. Human, walls have feelings. I have spent many minutes, no hours, watching the walls and absorbing their waves of influence. You cannot remove anything from a wall. Their meaning of life is destroyed, they have nothing left. Would you like to be discarded and thrown in a container to be transported to who knows where?”

“But Tabby walls are dead material, they have no feelings.”

“Mrs. Human have you ever watched a wall.”

“Not really Tabby, I prefer watching something with action.”

“How many felines watch walls Mrs. Human.”

“True Tabby, I must admit, I have seen a few felines watching walls.”

“There you have it Mrs. Human. There are thousands of us watching walls. No wall is neglected, we give them hope and faith and we respect them. In future Mrs. Human, do not just walk past a wall, but acknowledge its existence. We felines know the meaning of a wall.”

“Yes Tabby, I am sure you do.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Qualmed Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Non-collaborating felines

Tabby 11.04 (4)

“Where are you going Tabby?”

“None of your business Mrs. Human.”

“Oh yes it is Tabby, especially when you leave an unwanted hairball on the floor in my computer room.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, just put it on one side, preferably in a dry place so that it will be preserved for my collection. A hairball is never unwanted.”

“No, Tabby, I will throw it away, it is not very appetising.”

“As I said, no problem, I do not eat them, it has already been eaten. It will now be part of my collection. Perhaps you could take a photo for my blog.”

“Definitely not Tabby, I am sure your followers do not want to partake in a hairball photo.”

“I was thinking of my feline followers on Pawbook. We now have a group “Hairball Achievements” and there is always a feature “Hairball of the day”. I am sure this one would qualifiy, look at the form, I am sure it would be a success. I might even have a chance to win “Hairball of the year”.

“”Tabby can we change the subject, this is very unappetising.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, we do not eat them, they have already been eaten.”

“Tabby! It would be better if you would eat your bowl of fresh vitamin pellets with the tuna fish aroma.”

“Because they are good for me?”

“Yes, wonderful that you have now understood why I feed you on them.”

“No, its OK Mrs. Human. I discovered that they are ideal for hairball production.”

“I give up Tabby.”

“And I thought at last you were corroborating with my efforts to be No. 1 Hairball Feline of the year.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Non-collaborating felines