Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Genie

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Tabby

“There you are Tabby, I was looking for you everywhere. I was quite worried, where were you”

“I was patrolling my territory.”

“But you were gone for some time. I thought something might have happened.”

“I am old enough to look after myself Mrs. Human. I have to check now and again to ensure that there are no invaders. Roschti, the ginger tom next door, has had his eye on my realm for some time.”

“But Tabby, there is enough space here for both of you.”

“I know Mrs. Human, but territory is not something that you share. If you let one feline in, they all arrive. Perhaps you should install an electric fence around my area, with alarm signals. Yes, that would be ideal. You could then tell the invaders to go when there is a signal.”

“No Tabby, we live in a village, and not in a prison. Humans respect each others possessions.”

“Respect? Does not exist in meow Mrs. Human. Every feline is ready to grab what is not secure. Perhaps you could organise floodlights to illuminate my territory at night. That would keep them away.”

“But Tabby, it would also keep the birds and mice away.”

“Now that is a problem of course. The main items of my feline diet would be gone. There is only one solution Mrs. Human. You must be more observant and guard what is mine.”

“Perhaps I should get a dog. A dog would keep other felines away.”

“Forget it, I see that this conversation is leading nowhere.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Genie

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Fret

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Tabby

“Mrs. Human, where is my favourite cushion? The one with the Garfield design.”

“I had to put it in the wash Tabby. You created your last hairball on it.”

“You should have asked me first. Without that cushion I cannot sleep. I will have meowmares and have you ever seen a feline that has sleepless days and nights-”

“I did not think that felines could suffer from insomnia. They seem to be able to sleep everywhere.”

“Of course we can, so why put my favourite cushion in the wash. I have to rest my weary whiskers somewhere and that was ideal.”

“But it began to smell of hairball Tabby.”

“Only in one corner of the cushion and hairballs have a definite scent of their own, quite homely and now my cushion is gone. When are you planning to wash it?

“With the next suitable wash, tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow! Are you aware that I could die from a sleepless day and night without my favourite cushion. Wash it today, now.”

“But Tabby you have many other cushions.”

“It is not the same Mrs.Human. I like to rest my head on Garfield, I can sleep better.”

“Tabby I have never seen a feline with insomnia and I am sure you could sleep on another cushion, What about your cushion with the fishbone design?”

“That won’t work Mrs. Human. I was having a hairball rehearsal on that one. In the meanwhile you can let me use your pillow until they have both been washed.”

“How do I know you will not deposit a hairball on my pillow.”

“You don’t and neither do I.  I can be quite spontaneous with my hairball production.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Fret

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Crank

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Tabby

I know that most of you find me perfect, beautiful and just the best, but have you ever seen the details of my tail? It is not just an attachment for balance, no feline needs something for balancing, we are natural talents at everything. The tail is the dot on the “i”, the detail to show how well made we are.  Some of you might think it necessary to put me in motion, but it is not a crank, it is the final attachment of perfection. Note the variations of colour: a black band, then a mixed tabby contrast and again black. Yes, my tail is the crowning glory of my dress. It is also very useful for the final touch when sleeping, as the perfect wrap. It is quite long and I like to hold it upright when walking, showing all the designer details. Of course I have won the prize of tail of the year a few times, as my tail is unique, like most of me. And now I must go, it is time for a tail cleaning session.

Remember kittens, always look after your tails, and they will look after you.

Daily Feline Prompt: Crank

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Song

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Tabby

Hiss, hiss, hiss, meow, meow, meow
I will sing you a song of the feline dreams
Lives are not all tuna fish, although it sometimes seems
We long for a place where we can sleep
and a quiet meadow where we can creep
To find the bird that is singing our song
We will pounce, it really does not take long
And now I sit in all my glory
I am estimating the size of my personal territory
There is enough room for many mice
If they venture too near, they will pay their price
It is time for me to go, there is a call of the wild
Tuna fish is ready, a food that is so mild.
Hiss, hiss, hiss, meow, meow, meow

You may all join in the chorus.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Song

Daily Feline Prompt: Depleted Feline

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Tabby

“Just look at me Mrs. Human, I am a victim of your whims.

“What it that supposed to mean Tabby, you seem to be quite comfortable on our leather chair.”

“I was comfortable, I was asleep dreaming of a happy feline life, surrounded by tins of tuna fish and I even had opposable thumbs to open the tins. I was at the part where I discovered how to do it and you make a noise, I am now awake.”

“I did not make a noise, I coughed.”

“Spreading your human germs in my direction of course. OK, get the camera ready, I will make a serious pose and you may take a photo, but make sure you include my right rear paw.”

“Why is that an important paw?”

“They are all important, but if you handle the camera correctly, you will  have a close up of my No. 1 claw. And be sure to include all of my whiskers. OK, I am ready and do not tell me to smile. I do not smile, You are definitely not Alice in Wonderland and I am not the Cheshire Cat.”

“OK Tabby, and now you can go back to what you were doing before you woke up. Tabby, Tabby. Oh she is back to sleep and I am sure I saw a smile on her face.”

“Forget it Mrs. Human, I still have an ear open and it is not a smile: just a reaction in my dream, I now have opposable thumbs and am opening the tuna fish tins, but my dream has now become a meowmare.”

“Why?”

“The tin is full of hard vitamin pellets.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Depleted Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Glimmer Feline

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Tabby

That is not one of my studio portraits, but blame it on Mrs. Human. There I was having a quiet sleep on a chair and suddenly something prods me and says smile. First of all, I do not have the abilitiy to smile, my facial muscles are not programmed for smiles: a snare and a hiss and a threatening gesture yes, but no smile Why should I  smile? Felines are only friendly with three people: I, me and myself. Otherwise we are suspicious of anything that lives and breathes. If it does not, there is no problem as it generally will be part of our next meal.

So I am immediately awake, and yawn. This was the first mistake, I yawned too quickly for the camera it seems. Mrs. Human loves to take photos of a yawning Tabby. It is understandable, you can see my wonderful glimmering rows of teeth. The corner teeth are particularly well formed. They are the teeth I use for tearing the meat. After this rude awakening my only wish is to go, disappear and at this moment Mrs. Human takes a photo. Instead of my perfect studio portrait you now have something similar to a “Paws” Picasso image. She even managed to chop off the end of my wonderful tail. She is now working on this photo with photoshop and in the meanwhile I will disappear before she has another human idea for a Pulitzer Prize photo.

Wake me up when my dinner is served.

Daily Feline Prompt: Glimmer Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Disrupted Feline

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Tabby

“Mrs. Human, tell the sun to go away, it is disturbing me.”

“Tabby the sun will not go away, it does what it wants to do. You must move to another place where there is not so much sun.”

“That will not work Mrs. Human, I want to sit on this cushion, it is comfortable. Move the sun, I command it.”

“You can command as much as you want to, but the sun is shining where it is.”

“But it is disrupting my thoughts. I cannot concentrate when the sun is shining in my eyes. Go away sun, obey. Look Mrs. Human, the sun has gone. You see it realises that I am the one who is the most important.”

“Sorry Tabby, but it was the cloud that covered the sun, not your words that told the sun to go.”

“Of course, I told the cloud to move and now the sun has gone.”

“Are you sure Tabby, the cloud is still moving and the sun is returning. Where are you going Tabby?”

“Inside, I have no time for discussions with the sun and clouds. I have better things to do.”

“Such as?”

“I have to organise the moon and stars.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Disrupted Feline