Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Luck

Tabby

“Tabby would you like to go out.”

“Of course. I am not sitting in front of a closed window for health reasons. I have been waiting for at least a human minute. I really deserve more respect, but it is more luck than judgement here.”

“Sorry Tabby, but I was doing something else and did not realise that I should open the window.”

“I hope the something else was for me.”

“Tabby, life does not revolve around you alone here. There are other things to consider. I was in the washing room taking the washing out of the machine.”

“You see another waste of valuable time, that you could have been spending on my needs. I was sitting in front of the window, and you was dealing with washing.”

“It was important Tabby. When the machine is finished I have to hang the washing up to dry.”

“And in the meanwhile I am stuck in front of a window watching things happening outside and getting frustrated. There is a case of negligence here Mrs. Human. I will have to report to you the Society for the prevention of unbalanced feline life.”

“If you do that Tabby, they will take you away and you will have to live somewhere else, perhaps in a home for unwanted felines.”

“I think it might be a case of you being taken away to live in a home for unwanted humans. You have to look at this from my point of view. I am pefect, I am a the feline that chose to live with you. I had a selection of course. There were many applications to give me the care and attention necessary, but I decided to choose you Mrs. Human. If you leave me sitting in front of a closed window, that is negligence.”

“But after I hung up the washing, I immediately went to the kitchen and opened a tin of tuna fish for your evening meal. You are very lucky to have me Tabby.”

“It has nothing to do with luck, but a good human training programme. I will have to make a few alterations to the precedence cases that you have. Feline comes before washing and tuna fish. You have some confusion with the sequence of your work. Feline first, human at the end. As one of our great leaders, Paws Franklin D. Whiskers said “I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.”

“What does that have to do with it?

“Do not ask questions Mrs. Human, just accept my wise thoughts. And now where is the tuna fish.”

“I thought you wanted me to open the window.”

“Tuna first Mrs. Human, tuna first.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Luck

Daily Feline Prompt: Massive Feline

Tabby 15.03 (1)

“Mrs. Human, you will have to deal with my daily prompt on your own today.”

“But Tabby, I do not have the time.”

“Yes, well neither do I, I have a massive overload of work and have to go places and deal with things.”

“Seems to me it cannot be so urgent, you have been sleeping for the past five hours.”

“Of course, I have to gather my strength before dealing with all the urgent matters. I must rest, eat, drink and again rest to digest it all. Now I am ready to go. I will be back in an hour or two, or three. Just make sure my tuna fish does not dry out in the meanwhile. Perhaps when you see me coming, you can get ready to serve it so that it is fresh.”

“And how should I see you coming?”

“Mrs. Human you will be looking out every five minutes I hope to prepare for my arrival.”

“As if I have nothing better to do. Where are you going that it is so important.”

“Basically it is none of your human business, but if you must know it is the time of the year.”

“Time of the year?”

“What is the magpie doing in the tree opposite.”

Magpie and nest 16.03 (4)

“I think she is building a nest, to get prepared for the baby birds when they hatch.”

“Yes, of course, and I will be there to help celebrate the occasion and perhaps help them to find their wings. They tend to fall out of the nest when they are fresh.”

“And you will help them back – I don’t think so Tabby, and stop licking your lips. They are not feline food, they will be the future mapies in the area and we look after our wild life.”

“So true Mrs. Human, in that case I will visit the mice. They are so busy preparing their nests for their children and I will wait, attentively, with my paw in front of the entrance in case one of the new arrivals wants to explore the world.”

“Tabby, forget it. I am sure the little mice would love to explore the world, but that does not mean your paws and teeth.”

“Mrs. Human you have now disallusioned me. I was so looking forward to a walk in the fresh air and welcoming the new arrivals in my territory and now you have taken away my interest.”

“So you will not be going for a walk.”

“No definitely not. You can serve the tuna fish now and afterwards I will take an after dinner digestive sleep. If you happen to see a little bird falling out of its nest, do not hesitate to wake me, I would be glad to help it find its way back.”

“Yes Tabby, I am sure you will.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Massive Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Instinct

Roschti 14.03 (1)

“Look Tabby, Roschti your feline friend is sitting in the garden. Perhaps he wants to play with you. Why don’t you ask him.”

“Friend? No idea what that means. Mrs. Human, that feline imposter has no business to sit in my territory, and we felines do not play, the word does not even exist in the meow vocabulary. Just be informed that I do not like Roschti, and he does not like me.”

“But he is always paying visits, I am sure he wants to spend some time with you. I cannot understand why you do not like him.”

“It is pure feline instinct. As one of our great furry leaders Lord Byron Paws said “There is no instinct like that of the claw” and they are very wise words. Mrs. Human, either you chase away Roschti or blood will be spilt.”

“Oh, that sounds serious. Your blood or Roschti’s?”

“Neither nor, Mrs. Human. If you do not chase him away my claws will be put into operation on your arm, and if you chase him away he will probably retaliate and give you a sample of his claws. Both ways you will lose, but I will win. It is all in the instinct you know.”

“But we humans use the word instinct when we do not have a know how to explain why animals do certain things.”

“That is not instinct Mrs. Human, that is human stupidity. Cats first and instinct second and if I explained it to you, you would not understand.”

“How do you know Tabby, I might very well understand.”

“No Mrs. Human, that is instinct. I know you would not understand.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Instinct

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Paw Immersion

Tabby 13.09 (3)

There are some things that humans do not understand. I have written many times that water is not just water, but has it flavours and tastes. Water has to be approached with thought, with considertion. Some animals see water and pounce with no real feeling. I am reminded of my canine friends, who find that water is just for drinking, no insult meant of course, it just happens to be cats first. Of course, this is the main purpose, but wine is also for drinking. You do not pounce on a glass full of wine an empty the glass in a few seconds. You take a sip, let it soak into the taste buds and absorb it with the tongue. Afterwards you swallow it, allowing the water to be absorbed . It is to be considere as a living thing.

As you can see in the photo, this is how to paw your water. First of all dip the paw into the water to test if it has the right termperature: too cold or too warm does not allow it to be absorbed and savoured to the last tantilising drop. The paw tells you everying, but only the right front paw. This paw has been especially developed for this purpose. Of couse there are felines that might be southpaws, and use the left paw.

And do not be diverted by your human if she finds that the water you are drinking may not be pure. Who are humans to recognise the purity of water. Their water is processed, comes from a tap, and has lost its flavour. No, do not be discouraged as I was last week.  I discovered a source of the most delicious drop I had ever found. It had definitely been maturing for at least 2-3 months and had reached the perfection in taste. So what do you do? You drink it of course, even if it is combined with difficulties. There I was enjoying every lap of the tongue and then I heard the thunderous voice of Mrs. Human. “Tabby what are you doing, that water is not clean.”

How can a mere human judge what is acceptable to the delicate taste of a feline. I ignored her and we had a slight misunderstanding. Luckily tis exquisite source of refreshment is still there, and now and again I take a few tongue fulls as a refreshment.

Tabby 07.03 (1)

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Paw Immersion

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Records

Tabby

Just for the records, I am the best of all
I can meow louder than others, my voice is really cool
You should see me run, I am gone with the wind
I am the quickest eater, before the tuna is tinned
Jumping over obstacles is no problem of mine
I have the finest fur, it has a permanent shine
And now I have to go, I have a record to maintain
And cannot be too slow for a final record aim
My cushion now is waiting, I have to turn in a peep
I sink and close my eyes, my record is held for sleep.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Records

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Murmuration

Tabby 12.03.2017

“Did you say something Tabby?”

“Murrrr”

“Was that a purr or a meow?”

“It was something in between. I wanted to purr,  because I was dreaming of floating on a cloud of soft cushions, stuffed with catnip and I was on the way to achieving a stoned state of being. And then my cloud collapsed and I made a crash landing because a human decided to disturb my sleep with a stupid question.”

“Sorry Tabby, but I saw your ear twitching and thought you were awake.”

“Do not think too much Mrs. Human, it overtaxes your inferior brain power. I was just resting my eyes Mrs. Human. No feline sleeps 100%, we must be ready at all times for the unexpected, but I would emphasise, not for answering silly human questions. How would you like it if you were resting your eyes and I asked you a silly question like “are you asleep”.”

“Yes it would be a silly question.”

“And your question whether it was a “purr” or  “murr” was not less silly. Purring is reserved for those moments of relaxation, having a full bowl of tuna fish and laying in a field of lotus blossoms. Trying to relax on a chair does not qualify for a purr, because you never know if you will be disturbed by a human who has nothing better to do than ask silly questions and so a murr was necessary.”

“OK, Tabby, I will leave you to your sleep.”

“Too late, you have ruined my transcendential dreamweaving time. Our great feline writer Paws Hemingway meowed “I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake” and these are wise words. Now I am awake and already have the urge to scratch behind my ear, meaning I will have to raise my back leg. If you had let me sleep, I could have remained in a circular position and not have to indulge in such exercises. My life is gradually falling apart and I am now beyond help. ”

“Even if I serve a bowl of tuna fish.”

“OK, no problem.”

“I thought you was tired.”

“I was, but I cannot sleep all day can I? A feline must do what it has to do, regardless of inconvenience. Lead me to the tuna fish human.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Murmuration

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Pattern

Tabby 10.03 (4)

Of course I have patterns, you must know that the tabby feline is a speciality of the feline race. Each stripe has a meaning, but unknown to humans. We were the first felines, yes tabbys first.We were the first, the prototype for the feline race, but only we have the MacDonald’s “M” on the forehead, meaning mighty, marvellous and magnificent. Mrs. Human thinks we were just part of a MacDonalds advertising campaign, but jealosy knows no limits. I am sure she also wishes to have a unique Macdonalds “M” somewhere on her body, but no, it is reserved for the tabbys of this world.

The legend tells that Bastet was born in an Egyptian pyramid where she found herself together with the pharoah wives, that were also pyramidisised to prevent heir pharoah being alone on his journey to the next kingdom. To stop the pharoah wives from dying of hunger, they began to cook the food left for the pharoah to embark on his next journey. The ladies soon discovered that pharoah would no longer be needing food as he was wrapped up in cloth and was in any case just a shell without any digestive organs.   So they devised various recipes to cook the food, and the hamburger was born, made from various spieces, vegetables and above all camel meat. Bastet being blessed with magical powers, waved her magic whiskers over the food and an aroma arose, pulling all humans into its ban. It even gave the ladies strength to break down the walls of the pyramid and so Bastet escaped.

On the way out she brushed against the fire tongs where the hamburgers were being grilled and it left an “M” mark on her forehead. However, undaunted she continued and arrived in the chamber were the Egyptian slaves were storing the grain. This was paraidse, she saw thousands of mice munching their way through the grain and decided this would be a change from the etneral camel meat hamburgers. And so Bastet grounded the tabby race and they multiplied – each kitten with a Macdonalds “M” on its forehead.  She was also honoured as a chief goddess, saving the humans from hunger by destroying all the mice that were eating the grain. At least that was the story my mum told me and we all know mums always tell the truth.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Pattern