Daily Feline Prompt: Droll Feline

Tabby

“Tabby, since I put the birdhouse outside you are sitting at the window all day.”

“That is not quite true Mrs. Human, only when I am not eating or sleeping, although perhaps you could move my food bowl and bed in front of the window. I do not want to miss any of the action.”

“The birdhouse is not a feline TV station, but a place where the birds can find food enough in the cold winter months.”

“And what about me?”

“What about you?”

“I also have to find food in the cold winter months. I was convinced that this bird canteen was for I, my and myself. A welcome change to my boring diet of vitamin pellets.”

“Tabby you have never had to hunt for your food like the birds. If I did not feed them they would have nothing to eat in the cold weather and die.”

“You mean they rely on you to grow fat and healthy in the winter months.”

“Of course.”

“OK, no problem, feed them Mrs. Human, let them have a well-fed happy life with lots of meat on their bones.”

“Where are you going Tabby?”

“Outside Mrs. Human. The sparrows are now picking around ┬áthe ground on the seeds that have fallen off the birdhouse. I want to help them to find their food.”

“I did not know your were such a bird lover.”

“Of course I am Mrs. Human. I have now had time to observe them through the window and have made my choice.”

“Choice?”

“Yes for a complement to my food. I am only getting vitamin pellets, and a nice addition of bird would help me to survive in the cold winter months. Perhaps you could build a cathouse outside. Equality for all animals etc.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Droll Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Honking Feline

Tabby

I meow or I purr according to the present state of mind, but never honk. I like to save my words and let the others do the talking. Meowing is only when I need a service from my human. She is a little slow to grasp the importance of a feline life, so I have to give her a push. If I lay on my back with all four paws in the air, this means tummy tickle time. She ignores me. That is when I must increase my verbal noses, perhaps with a meow variation sounding “meowwowwow” in a high pitch voice and with repetition. She appears and I give her the look, Who needs meows when looks could be just as good. It usually serves its purpose.

Words are often superfluous. When she begins to eat a meal of cooked meat and all I have is a bowl of dry vitamin pellets, then I apply telepathy. Of course the human is not capable of telepathy, which is quite good. It would really not be positive if she could read my thoughts. Of course I can read the human thoughts and believe me what a mess that is until you find the right place. It is a mixture of cooking, cleaning, shopping and confusion, until I get to the Tabby part of the brain. There is a complete department reserved there for me and my needs. It was hard work, but we felines can easily influence the human thoughts and brain design. And so whilst she is absorbing the pleasure of fresh cooked meat, I give her the look. This always works and she cannot bear to see me suffering. She even pre-chews it for me as  human meat is not shaped into feline sized pieces.

As I said, why honk when a feline telepathic influence works just as well.

Daily Feline Prompt: Honking Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Dubious Feline

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, I am sleeping and do not wish to be disturbed.”

“Tabby I was only taking a photo.”

“You are constantly taking photos. You can see that I am sleeping.”

“I was not sure. Sometimes you look like your are sleeping but you are awake. You had your eyes closed.”

“I was only resting my eyes Mrs. Human.”

“How am I to know that?”

“You don’t have to know everything Mrs. Human. And now leave me in peace, or did you want to ask some advice like my food choice for the next meal.”

“No, Tabby, I have no doubt what you would select if I asked you, but I must disappoint you. Today is your healthy day.”

“You mean the dreaded vitamin pellets? I must be the healthiest feline in the area as I am continuously having my bowl filled with vitamin pellets.”

“Tabby, they are good for you.”

“Good for what? Although I must say they area a good binding substance for hair ball production.”

“That is not the idea. They are healthy and if you stay healthy I do not have to take you to the vet. Vets only treat sick animals.”

“In that case you can forget my jab this year. Healthy felines do not need jabs.”

“That is something different. You have your jabs to prevent you becoming sick.”

“I must be the healthiest feline here. Vitamine pellets and jabs: what more can a feline wish for.”

“Exactly Tabby.”

“Not quite, I have a Catmas wish.”

“What would you like.”

“Opposable thumbs to enable me to open the tuna fish tins witbout waiting for a human.”

“You see, you do not need opposable thumbs for the vitamin pellets, another advantage. -Tabby are you listening?”

“Purrr, purrr”

“It looks like she has fallen asleep.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Dubious Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Meow me a Riff

Tabby

Meow, meow, meow
It is easy when you know how
It begins in the whiskers and sinks to the lungs
I can cover 4 octaves and sing in many tongues
I practice all the night and even in my sleep
Mrs. Human tells me to stop, the volume makes her weep
The full moon nights are the best, to set us all on fire
The felines on the rooftops join together, singing in a choir
The words are all the same as a feline knows no others
We learnt them from our birth, passed down by all our mothers
So let’s meow together, and let it ring out loud
Count in the pawful rhythm we are such a tuneful crowd
And dogs if you are willing and would like to have a lark
Join in with the accompaniment and have a real good bark
The words are really not difficult, you will learn them in a jiff
Just meow along with us, and you will learn the riff.

Daily Feline Prompt: Meow me a Riff

Daily Feline Prompt: Black Feline

Nera putting herelf in the picture

This is Nera my litter sister, putting herself in the picture again. She was always the first, she was the boss, being the first one to appear. I was supposed to be the first one to arrive, but just as the exhaustions of pushing were nearly finished, she pushed us all to one side and was the firstborn. There were four of us, but we we were all different colours. Yes on that memorable evening on the rooftop mum had been dealing in catnip and tried it all. I somehow have a feeling that Nera’s dad was not Tabby’s dad, but mum was never one to have any regrets in life.

Nera was my fate, where she went I went as well and Mrs. Human was influenced in being adopted by Nera and myself. I remember the first time Mrs. Human used that monster machine called vacuum cleaner. Nera was the first to sqeeze behind the cupboard in the corner and I followed her. I seemed to spend my meow life following her. We shared everything, although sharing was not exactly Nera’s philosophy. She just tossed me the leftovers of the mice she couldn’t manage. She was also the first to try the tuna fish, although Mrs. Human did prepare two dishes, one for each of us. Nera tried both and chose the dish that I could have afterwards.

If danger was approaching from another feline she would hiss and disappear, leaving me on my own to fight it out. I would be hard on her paws afterwards for the cat flap. She had the first choice of sleeping quarters and her favourite game was playing with green beans. Of course they were not beans, but bean soldiers. She would kill them all by trapping them between her paw and the table leg.

Nera and the bean hunt 5

Yes we fought many battles together until the day she got her 10th life in the eternal corn chambers. Now and again she still returns to see how I am managing on my own. Actually I am managing very well without my sister, who was not fat but fluffy. I do not tell her, do not want to hurt her feelings.

Daily Feline Prompt: Black Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Neophyte

Tabby

“Tabby what is the matter?”

“I had a dream that today was different to yesterday.”

“It usually is Tabby. Nothing stays the same.”

“But not for a feline. We prefer a normal daily routine with no new events. Every day a bowl of tuna fish.”

“That would not be healthy Tabby you need a change of diet now and again.”

“Diet does not exist in meow Mrs. Human and neither does healthy. What is that in my food bowl?”

“It is time for some vitamin pellets. They make your eyes nice and shiny and put a spring in your step.”

“I do not want to spring, prefer to paw my way and who needs shiny eyes. Forget it. I prefer my routine, the same every day. All new ideas are not good for felines, a cause for a whisker breakdown. All I want is a peaceful sleep for 10-12 hours, perhaps longer, and food when I awake and a clean recycling tray. Just do your job Mrs. Human and then you have a relaxed feline.”

“But I am sure a change in your routine would be good for you.”

“Here we go again with that good for you rubbish. I do not need a change in anything, same time, same place and same food.”

“You should really go places and see different things.”

“Any suggestions?”

“Outside you could get some fresh air and I am sure the feline next door would like to accompany you on a walk.”

“A walk? Felines do not walk together, we prefer to have territorial discussions.”

“You mean you decide where the borders of your territory are.”

“Something like that Mrs. Human, but we do not talk about it. We felines are more creatures of action. If another feline steps with one paw over my boundary, I defend it to the last hiss and scratch.”

“And the other feline?”

“Also defends to the last hiss and scratch.”

“But it would better to discuss your problems.”

“Of course, I always do. It is nothing new to me. I just run through the cat flap and find a place where I can sleep it over.”

“But the other feline could move into your territory in the meanwhile.”

“That will not happen Mrs. Human, for that I have my own private human bodyguard.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Neophyte

Daily Feline Prompt: Cat strut

Tabby

Here I am taking a strut around the landscape. The sign says that I am not allowed to walk on the building site, but I do not see a building site, just lots of wonderful grass where it all happens in the depths. I can even smell mouse, meaning that they are alive and waiting to fall into my welcome paws.

It is always the fun things in a feline life that are forbidden. As it is a human signpost it cannot be meant for me as we all know felines must have their own signs written in meow. It also says that no-one will accept responsibility if there is an accident. I have never fallen on a blade of grass so there is no danger.

And now I can hear something. A tin opener is being applied somewhere in the distance. I now have a choice, wait and pounce on a mouse if it appears, or walk home to a bowl of instant tuna fish with all of its delights. You see, yet another mouse life saved but I will be back.

Tabby walking in the garden 31

Ad here I am again, this time in the snowy landscape. Yes I am very versatile, but nothing present a problem for me. I am the champion strutter, although I prefer to avoid the white stuff, it tends to freeze my paws.

Cat Strut