Feline RDP Tuesday: Rugged Feline

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Tabby

I fooled them all with my cunning and dare
Now I’m the queen of the castle , I have found a new lair
From here I see everything and have it all in grip
Mrs. Human is still worried, she is sure that I will slip
We felines are so sure and steady even when we fall
Just turn as you go down, arrive on four paws next to the wall
I have been up and down today, have tried all various positions
Stretching, curled up sitting with style, according to my conditions
I love this new wall and it likes me, we assimilate so well
I tell the wall I am climbing up and it remains so parallel
Looking down is  showing me that I can do it with style
Now I have done it and shown them all, if only I could smile
So kittens if your human says a raised bed in the garden
Be sure to mark it as our own and do not give a pardon
Just take decisions in your paws and make sure it is plug-ged
You will get your just rewards just stay determined and rugged

Feline RDP Tuesday: Rugged Feline

Feline RDP Monday: Not Plump but Fluffy

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Nera having a sun bathe

This is my sister Nera. We were born in the same litter and she was the first one out, and  she never let me forget it. She was the boss and I was always the assistant. I am not sure who her dad was, but we felines do not talk about things like that. Obviously she does not have my sexy slim shape, but is more on the plump side.

I once called her fatty, but only once. She gave me a paw swipe and a few hisses. Her famous words were then uttered “I am not fat, but fluffy”. She was proud to be fluffy although she had a few problems. If you sit on a snail with a fluffy coat, and are somewhat on the heavy side, you would not notice and the snail would stay in the coat. Snails are sticky objects, She also had her problems with tics, or they had their problems with her. But as I said, she was not fat, and not even heavy, because she was my sister.

She is the proof that some felines eat too many vitamin pellets. She was never a fussy eater, if the bowl was full, she would empty it and even meow for more. Of course she was partial to a bowl of tuna fish. I would always wait until she was finished with her portion, hoping there might be some more for me afterwards, but no. She did not believe in wasting food. Once a year she would have a hair cut at the vets, but even with the fluff removed, she was still quite round in shape.

She is now living her 10th life in the eternal corn chambers, keeping them free of mice. Mice was one of her favourites and so was bird. But she was not fat or plump, just fluffy.

Nera sunbathing

Just remember, she ain’t heavy, she’s my sister.

Feline RDP Monday: Not Plump but Fluffy

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Sequelae

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Tabby

“Tabby, what are you doing on my new raised garden bed?”

“Trying it out of course, Mrs. Human. If you go to the trouble of making a recycling container for me, the least I can do is to christen it.”

“There will be no christening party Tabby. That is for my cooking herbs.”

“Yes, I noticed there are some strange plants already there. You will have to remove them to give me more room.”

“Tabby this new garden bed is for me not for you.”

“But I have already claimed it as part of my territory.”

“Then unclaim it. Your territorial demands are now a little over the limit. And how do you come down again Tabby? Have you thought about the sequelae of your actions.”

“Speak meow Mrs. Human and do not use words in human that you only get from dictionaries, just because it was today’s daily prompt. I was looking on my pawpad and was wondering how you would use that word, so I thought I would help a bit by trying out my new recycling box.”

“Thankyou Tabby, but that is not your new recycling box. That is my new raised bed for herbs.”

“You mean that green  stuff sticking out of the earth. It smells, even stinks, get rid of it.”

“Does not come into the question Tabby, and your smell afterwards is not better.”

“I beg your pardon, I do not smell, it is perfume.”

“And how do you come back to ground level.”

“The same way as I got here, but in reverse of course.”

“And what if you fall and injure yourself. I will have to take you to the vet.”

“Oh, in that case perhaps you could lift me and put me back onto the ground.”

“Tabby the solution is to forget my new garden beds and stay on ground level. You have enough space for your territory.”

“I never have enough. And I thought this new garden was planned according to my feline wishes.”

“Sometimes we humans also have wishes, not including felines.”

“Mrs. Human I see that we must have a serious talk under four eyes and whiskers.”

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Sequelae

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Burble

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Tabby

“Tabby what are you doing?”

“Mrs. Human, I am having a drink.”

“I can hear you burbling in the bowl, but why do you have your paw in the bowl as well?”

“That is obvious, even for a simple human. I have to make sure the water does not escape and stays where it is.”

“But the water is in the bowl.”

“I know, but only because I am making sure it stays in the bowl. If I remove my paw the water will go.”

“No Tabby, it will remain where it is.”

“Of course it remains where it is, but only because I put my paw in the bowl to keep it there.”

“Take your paw out of the bowl Tabby, and you will see it is still there.”

“No way. You humans have strange ideas. You are continuously putting water in your sink and where is it now?”

“I let it go into the drain.”

“Because you did not use your hand to stop it going.”

“I did not want to stop it going anywhere Tabby. I wanted it to go down the drain.”

“You mean that dark place at the bottom of the sink. I do not trust it. Your water burbles before it disappears into dark places.  That is why I keep my paw in my bowl to make sure the water does not go to the place of no return.”

“You really should not be so dramatic Tabby. Where do you think the water goes when I empty your bowl in the morning and fill it again with fresh water?”

“I would rather not know Mrs. Human. At the moment my water is in my bowl and I am keeping it where it is. It is behaving with no burbles. Your water even makes glugging noises when it disappears. One day it will return and revenge itself.”

“Take revenge for what?”

“Letting it fall into the sink, logical really. Strange creatures humans, the do not understand the physics of fresh water.”

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline Burble

Feline RDP Friday: Trucking Feline

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Tabby

“Mrs. Human, where have they taken my territory?”

“Your territory is still here Tabby, it has just changed a little.

“Changed a little? Where is my grass, my earth where I can plant my secrets. Where are the smells that I deposited everywhere. The scents that prove it is all mine. It is now bare, everything gone. Is that my new recycling tray in the middle. I do not like it. I saw the humans take it all my territorial memories away in their truck.”

“I did not have the garden renewed for you Tabby, but for me.”

“Typical human, always put theirselves first. What about me, and how am I to climb to the top of the recycling part.”

“It is not for your recycling Tabby, but contains my herbs that I use for cooking.*

“You mean like catnip?”

“No tabby, I do not cook with catnip.”

“Then what is the point of having herbs.

“It is for me Tabby. You have a nice recycling tray for your use.”

“But where is the grass. Now there are only stones, although I have an idea.”

“Tabby stop squatting on those stones. What are you doing.”

“I am repossessing my territory. I think I must drink more water to cover it all. It is my marking device.”

“No Tabby, I can spray it with water from the hose.”

“It is not the same Mrs. Human. My effort is a sign of possession. At least I have a new wall to talk to. The wall will understand my problems.”

“Tabby walls do not talk.”

“How do you know Mrs. Human. Of course they do not talk to humans. It is only the felines that have a wave length to a wall.”

Feline RDP Friday: Trucking Friday

Feline RDP Thursday: Bracing Feline

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Tabby

I decided to make myself scarce. There are things happening here that are pulling my world apart. When everything is in its right place then the feline world is complete, but Mrs. Human again does not consider my felines. Did she ask me to give my permission to transform my territory into a stone desert? Of course not, she has a dream now and again and when she awakes she changes my feline world.

One morning I entered my realm outside, just to snap some fresh air and to bury something which must be covered afterwards, not wanting it to be discovered by other felines. They might start talking about me behind my back otherwise, but they do it as well. When I arrived in the garden I found two strange humans wearing big boots. They began to dig up my territory. They removed the grass where I love to lay to cool down after a hot summer day, and another Mrs. Human arrived and made the branches of my tree shorter.

I was devastated, they were taking over and no-one takes over feline spaces without my permission. And then one of the humans produced a machine. When machines appear, it means noise. Suddenly where there was grass and soil there were stones: big stones, enormous stones, even my wall (to whom I confide my deepest thoughts) began to shake a little. I eventually had to flee. They switched on this machine and began cutting up pieces of rocks spraying white dust everyone.

If I had been warned  I could have braced myself for the shock. I must now go online to the feline psychiatrist, my mental condition has been shaken to its various cores. I am in danger of losing yet another life I am sure. Today the humans with the boots returned and began to build two monster blocks with the stones, but now I am reassured. The blocks have been filled with soft earth, ideal for digging and burying. They have made two recycling containers for me I am sure. Now I can climb to the top, deal with my business and at the same time keep an eye on my surrounding territory. You just have to look at things in the right perspective.

Feline RDP Thursday: Bracing Feline

Feline RDP Wednesday: Feline Comeback

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Tabby

If I go for a walk, I always come back
I feel it in my whiskers, it is a matter of fact
We felines need our home, the place that has our smell
Cushions in the corners, a bed is also swell
All doors are to be open, so we can roam around
And every day must be the same to keep our instincts sound
I inspect my outside territory, everything must be in place
Each twig and blade of grass must occupy its space
In Autumn leaf soldiers fall, I fight a battle daily
I kill each leaf with all my claws, and do it all quite gayly
But home is where the whiskers are, am still looking for my heart
Follow the smell with your delicate nose and never let it part

Feline RDP Wednesday: Feline Comeback