Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Lurch

Tabby

“Lurching around in front of the window again Tabby?”

“I am not lurching, I am passing a message and being ignored as usual.”

“What is the message Tabby, I was busy.”

“I was using sign language to pass on a hint that I would like to go out.”

“But you can always leave our home, your cat flap is always open.”

“I was in the back room an the window was closed.”

“But the kitchen flap was open, as well as the window.”

“And you expect me to walk from one side of my home to the other, because you were too busy to open the window for me?”

“Tabby you have four legs and I only have two. I am sure you would be able to move quite quickly to the other side of the appartment. You are only wasting time scratching on a closed window.”

“Mrs. Human it is quite clear that the human body is a faulty design with only two legs, but you could try adding your arms for transport purposes to crawl and a speedy reaction to my needs. I had to wait until you even acknowledged my plea to go out.”

“If you had moved to the other side of the appartment, you would not have had to wait for me.”

“And if you had used your arms with your legs you would have been much faster. It is not my fault that you belong to the two legged species. And I am still waiting for the window to be opened.”

“What is so urgent to go outside.”

“I am still thinking about that. There are probably many urgent matters to deal with, but I have not yet decided which one.”

“And if I open the window it would help.”

“Definitely, because I could sit in front of an open window and have a choice.”

“A choice?”

“Whether I would go out or not. On the other paw, I might decide to include a few hours sleep and think about it. Be ready Mrs. Human. I will call you if I decide to go.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Lurch

Daily Feline Prompt: Tea for a Feline

Tabby

“Where have you been Tabby?”

“I was on a scientific excursion.”

“Scientific? That sounds interesting, but wipe your paws before entering, they are very muddy.”

“That has to do with the discoveries I made. I was on the search for the perfect water supply. It had been raining, so I examined a few different puddles. Water is not just water of course. I noticed the water laying on the south side of the meadow had a much more mellow taste than that on the north.”

“I did not realise that water tastes vary.”

“Of course they do, it depends on the flavours where the rain falls. If it is a storm the water is very strong, and goes to your head. That is when placing one paw in front of the other can be problematic. Roschti, the cat next door, even begins to sing some drinking songs if he drinks too much. No head for drink, I say. I prefer to take my water in small sips, not too much as once.”

“You mean that Roschti can get drunk on the water.”

“Some cats do have a problem, no control and just cannot stop. You should see him if he mixes it with catnip, then he is completely out of control. He doesn’t even come home, but stays out all night. The last time he was found sleeping in a pot of flowers. talking to a geranium: I think he is becoming a waterholic.”

“That sounds bad. I hope you have everything under control.”

“Of course Mrs. Human, I only drink water when I know where it comes from. Not just any water and take it in small measures. It is no good just gulping it down. That only encourages hairballs and not such nicely formed hairballs. Too much liquid is …….”

“OK Tabby, I get the message, no need to go into details. I hope the water in your bowl is to your taste.”

“Looks OK, probably a strong flavour of purification, but you cannot have everything. Even the most stupid feline, Donald Paws Trump once said “I’ll drink water. Sometimes with mud, which I like. Sometimes river water, which I like. I’ll drink different things. But the water from my favourite spring  in the MacDonalds restaurant, boosts you up most of all.” But his ideas are so watered down, they make no sense in any case.”

“Would you like some tea Tabby for a change.”

“No thanks, that would go to my whiskers and they might change their colour or droop.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Tea for a Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline gate

Tabby

Gates are for humans, not for cats
We felines overcome them, we crawl through the slats
Humans need keys or they have to knock
Felines squeeze through, we do not need a lock
If the gate is too high, we take a running jump
We go over the top if we are not too plump
I once knew a feline that had some very bad luck
She ate too much and then she got stuck
There is a moral to my tale, although it has not yet been found
You might have opposable thumbs, but felines are very sound
Who needs thumbs when you have a super brain
Humans cannot jump over a gate, they would need a crane.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline gate

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Perfume

Roschti

“Mrs. Human, there is a funny smell in the garden.”

“I don’t notice anything Tabby, everything smells the same as usual.+

“Sorry Mrs. Human, I was forgeting. Humans have an under-developed nose and they only smell what is in front of their eyes. Everything else is more luck than judegement.”

“That is not true Tabby, I have a very good sense of smell.”

“In that case you can tell me which strange feline is walking around in my territory. by his smell.”

“Of couse not Tabby, all felines smell the same and I have not noticed any other feline except for you.”

“Then take another smell, I am convinced that Roschti, the  feline next door, is invading my territory.”

“Oh yes Tabby, I can now see him.”

“Which goes to prove what I said. You can now see him, but not smell him.”

“Of course not, all felines smell the same.”

“”Are you insinuating that I smell like Roschti.”

“Of course not Tabby, you do not smell, only when you eat tuna fish.”

“But I am not eating tuna fish at the moment, only hard indigestable vitamine pellets.”

“That is why you do not smell, and neither does Roschti.”

“Of course he does, he has a waft of mysterious aromas, mixed with vitmin food and a tinge of average cheap tinned feline food from the supermarket.

“You see how lucky you are Tabby, being fed on exclusive delicacies.”

“That is a matter of opinion Mrs. Human. I can now see Roschti, he is sniffing the air. I am sure he is planning to eat from my food.”

“I can see him Tabby, what a lovely photo.”

“And now you are going to post a photo of the smelly feline on my own private blog.”

“It will make a change Tabby, at least he is not sleeping as you are when I take a photo.”

“I do not sleep, I am only resting my eyes. He has now moved on thank goodness. At last I can breathe the pure air of my own territoriy with no invasive aromas.”

“Yes Tabby, of course. Now it is all yours to enjoy.”

“Remember Mrs. Human, Tabby first.”

“Of course.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Perfume

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Controversy

Tabby

It is raining outside and I want to go places and see things. If I go out my paws will be wet and the water will be falling downwards. I will have to think about it. It is a bit problem in a feline life to choose the right time to do the right thing. I don’t mind the rain, as long as I can shelter somewhere where I will not get wet or if it stays on the ground where it belongs. I then have the possibility to taste its fine flavours. Perhaps I could retire to the porch on a chair, but the chair is not as comfortable as a bed, or a cushion, or even the chair where I am now resting.  Oh the problems of a feline life and the decisions we have to make.

Perhaps I could have something to eat, but at the moment it is only the iron reserve. The hard flavourless vitamin pellets that Mrs. Human tells me are good for me. Mrs. Human is too lazy to open a tin of tuna fish it seems. How can a human know what is good for me. They only eat meat that has been cooked. They do not realise the delights of fresh bird or mouse, uncooked and with its natural flavours. Humans are funny animals. They do not smell the food before eating, but just insert it in their mouth, chew it and swallow it, no delights of flavour absorption. They have noses but it seems for other purposes, although I have not yet discovered what purposes. Although Mrs. Human might empty my recycling tray after I have left my mark there, and complains that something is smelling. Perhaps their noses are consructed differently to ours. I never smell anything in my tray.

If the feline next door takes a walk through my territory I smell it immediately. There is a smell in the air that is not welcome, an invasive smell. I am sure the feline does it on purpose just to annoy me.

I just had a look out of the window, it is still raining. I have no choice, three circles on the chair anticlockwise and sink into oblivion. Perhaps it will have stopped raining when I am awake. If not, I will have to add a few hours more onto my sleep. Oh, the controversial problems of a feline.

Daily Prompt: Feline Controversy

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Paw Immersion

Tabby 13.09 (3)

There are some things that humans do not understand. I have written many times that water is not just water, but has it flavours and tastes. Water has to be approached with thought, with considertion. Some animals see water and pounce with no real feeling. I am reminded of my canine friends, who find that water is just for drinking, no insult meant of course, it just happens to be cats first. Of course, this is the main purpose, but wine is also for drinking. You do not pounce on a glass full of wine an empty the glass in a few seconds. You take a sip, let it soak into the taste buds and absorb it with the tongue. Afterwards you swallow it, allowing the water to be absorbed . It is to be considere as a living thing.

As you can see in the photo, this is how to paw your water. First of all dip the paw into the water to test if it has the right termperature: too cold or too warm does not allow it to be absorbed and savoured to the last tantilising drop. The paw tells you everying, but only the right front paw. This paw has been especially developed for this purpose. Of couse there are felines that might be southpaws, and use the left paw.

And do not be diverted by your human if she finds that the water you are drinking may not be pure. Who are humans to recognise the purity of water. Their water is processed, comes from a tap, and has lost its flavour. No, do not be discouraged as I was last week.  I discovered a source of the most delicious drop I had ever found. It had definitely been maturing for at least 2-3 months and had reached the perfection in taste. So what do you do? You drink it of course, even if it is combined with difficulties. There I was enjoying every lap of the tongue and then I heard the thunderous voice of Mrs. Human. “Tabby what are you doing, that water is not clean.”

How can a mere human judge what is acceptable to the delicate taste of a feline. I ignored her and we had a slight misunderstanding. Luckily tis exquisite source of refreshment is still there, and now and again I take a few tongue fulls as a refreshment.

Tabby 07.03 (1)

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Paw Immersion

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Expectation

Roschti

“Err, Mrs. Human, that is not me.”

“I know Tabby, it is Roschti, the feline that lives next door, he paid a visit in our garden.”

“Correction Mrs. Human, he invaded my territory. What are you going to do about it.”

“Nothing Tabby, it is your territory, not mine. If Roschti wants to take a walk through our garden, he is not doing any harm.”

“Of course he is, he is leaving his scent everywhere he walks, he is offending my personal possessions. Tell him to go.”

“Tabby, you can tell him to go.”

“But he will start a fight.”

“Then let him walk through the garden. He is really not doing any harm but just crossing our garden to get to the other side.”

“Of course he is, look he is sniffing at one of my personal tree stems, and destroying the scent of the lotus blossoms that grow where I walk,  but what else an you expect from a different feline.”

“But he is leaving the stalk where they are, and I have not seen any lotus blossoms.”

“Only felines see lotus blossoms, and now he knows where my stalks are because he has left his scent on them. I now have to reposess them by leaving my scent on them.”

“Does it really make any different Tabby? You are not taking the stalks anywhere.”

“Of course it makes a difference, they now smell different.”

“I cannot smell anything Tabby, It is a wonderful day, the sun is shining and there is Spring in the air.”

“Correction, there is Roschti in the air.” ¨

“Where are you going Tabby.”

“I am going to Roschti’s garden of course I have a few scents to leave on a few plants in his garden. That will show him that he cannot do as he pleases in my territory.”

“That is very childish Tabby.”

“Childish does not exist in meow Mrs. Human, only kittenish, one of the biggest insults you can give a feline.”

“But it doesn’t seem to bother Roschti.”

“Of course not, it is all a matter of feline psychology. He has now taken possession of my territory by sniffing at my branches.”

“But you are now sniffing in his territory.”

“But he was there first hissss.”

“i will never undestand felines.”

“Mrs. Human, if you try to understand humans you will see that is a psychologicyl impossibility.”

Feline Expectation