Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Tradition

Tabby

“Tabby, are you breaking with tradition?”

“I didn’t break anything, it wasn’t me, it was the dog.”

“Tabby we don’t have a dog.”

“Then it must have been the feline next door.”

“No, Tabby, no-one broke anything, it is just a figurative way of speaking.”

“Sound like a waste of words to me. Wake me when it is time to eat.”

“But that is the break with the tradition.”

“I don’t get fed?”

“No Tabby, you never sleep on that chair.”

“Never say never Mrs. Human, it depends how the mood takes me. I thought I would try it out, but close the window, there is a draught.

“Of course Tabby. Tabby where are you going, I have closed the window.”

“I have changed my mind and would prefer to sleep outside on my garden chair. It is more comfortable.”

“By the way can you tell me what that dead mouse was doing under the table outside.”

“It was probably doing nothing if it was dead. Do you mean that mouse with the head missing.”

“Yes, exactly.”

“It was the dog.”

“Tabby we do not have a dog.”

“Then it was the cat next door.”

“I seem to have had this conversation before.”

“Yes life does tend to repeat itself.”

“Where is the mouse now?”

“I put it in the garbage.”

“You did what? That would have served nicely for supper.”

“So you killed the mouse?”

“I don’t bite heads off, I always save the best until last.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Tradition

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Fragrance

Tabby 21.07.2017

“Mrs. Human my recycling tray should be emptied.”

“I know Tabby, I thought I would wait. Perhaps you want to use it again.”

“Of course I want to use it again, but you should clean it first of all.”

“I thought it would save time for me. Instead of emptying it and cleaning it twice, I would only have to do the work once.”

“You might have now discovered that there is feline litter with added deodorant, but that is not an excuse to save cleaning time. I notice you constantly fill your recycling tray/bowl with fresh water. I deserve the same treatment.”

“That is something completely different but to keep you happy I will empty your recycling tray. It is empty, you havn’t even used it.”

“Of course not, I decided to wait until you fill it with fresh litter.”

“But the litter in the tray is clean.”

“I know it is clean, but the smell of the deodorant in the litter is not so good if the litter has been left for a few hours. I like my litter box to have a fresh smell. And perhaps you could fill my bowl with fresh vitamine pellets.”

“I thought you did not like them.”

“Basically I don’t, but when they are freshly topped up they have a more inviting flavour.”

“But I cannot keep adding more vitamine pellets from the bag. You should eat the pellets already in the bowl.”

“That is not the same. The pellets at the bottom of the bowl are not as good as the pellets at the top of the bowl.”

“Is that feline logic?”

“Mrs. Human, logic does not exist in meow, the feline is always right. The rest is fake meow.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Fragrance

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Harmonisation

Untitled

“Where are you off to Tabby?”

“I am just taking a walk Mrs. Human, harmonising with the landscape.”

“And I thought that harmonise did not exist in Meow Tabby.”

“It depends on the way you look at it. Felines do not harmonise with other felines, that would be boring. I harmonise very well with myself, It is a matter of perspective. I even harmonise with my human now and again.”

“I hope so Tabby, but only now and again?”

“Feeding times offer the most harmonisation. I want to eat and you fill my bowl.”

“But harmony is a lot more Tabby. When we both have the same opinions and ideas.”

“Stop Mrs. Human. After taking another look at the Meow vocabulary I realised we eliminated the word harmony some years ago.”

“But you cannot just eliminate words.”

“Of course you can. The day when we felines were no longer worshipped as gods, it was when the harmony no longer existed.”

“I don’t qute get that.”

“It’s easy. Up to then we gave the orders, and the humans brought us rewards. The day when humans used their opposable thumbs to invent mouse traps, our purpose in the feline life was endangered. They no longer brought us offerings of food, we had to fend for ourselves.”

“I don’t notice a lot of fending for ourselves here.”

“We revised the meow vocabulary. Harmonsation means always be four paws ahead of your human slave and never forget – Felines first.”

“I have heard that one before.”

“I know, there are even humans that are copycats.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Harmonisation

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Dormancy

Tabby

“Come on Tabby, wakey, wakey, rise and shine.”

“What is the emergency? Has war broken out between the felines and the canines? Oh I forgot we live in a permanent state of war so nothing new.

“It is time for your daily blog Tabby.”

“I know, no problem. Today I am doing it by telepathy.”

“That sounds interesting, how does that work?”

“You take the photo and write the words and I sleep.”

“But it is your blog, you have to do the work.”

“I am working on it Mrs. Human. I am pulling the whiskers from a distance. Take my photo with your opposable thumbs. I am have a dormant pose especially for the occasion.”

“But what about pawing a few words.”

“Sleep is sleep Mrs. Human, what more is there to say. Don’t forget to mention that my brain is active even whilst dormant. I register every single action taking place, although my eyes are closed.”

“Tabby where are you going, I though you were sleeping.”

“I am, this is called feline sleep walking. We felines invented it. Roschti the feline next door is waking from his dormant phase and is approaching my territory.”

“Where, I do not see anything outside.”

“Of course not, you are human and have limited brain reflexes. Look out of the window.”

“Yes, you are right he is approaching.”

“Of course, but he will return.”

“That is true he has turned and has disappeared through his cat flap.”

“Of course you just have to have things under control, and now let me sleep. I am now entering REM stage 5 of my dormancy.”

“I though there were only 4 stages of REM.”

“That is one of the differences between humans and felines. We have a few more. When I reach REM10 it means get the tuna fish ready.”

“Why.”

“Sleep makes hungry Mrs. Human. And close the door when you go, there is a draft from somewhere.”

Daily Prompt: Feline Dormancy

Daily Feline Prompt: In search of the feline lollipop

Tabby

“Where are you going Tabby.”

“I have a quest.”

“A quest?”

“Today is international lollipop day and I must find one. Do they grow on trees<‘”

“No Tabby, they are someting human.”

“They cannot be human if they are international. They must be available for felines as well.”

“No lollipops are food on a stick.”

“On a stick? But you cannot eat sticks.”

“You eat what is on the stick and lollipops are made from sugar. Felines do not eat sugar.”

“Does it taste better on a stick.”

“Our children like them, but you have to hold it in your paw.”

“I have an idea. You could put my vitamin pellets on a stick, one by one.”

“But you don’t like them.”

“They might taste different on a stick. It would be a new development for kitten food I am sure. The only problem would be the opposable thumbs which we do not have. Perhaps the humans could hold the stick and the kittens could nibble from the stick. It would be a revolution. Vitamin pellets on a stick: you could patent it in my name, Tabby vitamin pellets on a stick  for happy kittens. It would be a sucess, we would be rich. Let us call them Pellipops.”

“And then even you would eat them Tabby.?”

“Me eat kitten food? No way. But perhaps we could develop tuna fish on a stick. That would be the next step. By the way when is international tuna fish day? Just asking.”

Daily Feline Prompt: In search of the feline lollipop

Daily Feline Prompt: Disastrous Feline

Tabby

There are days when I am bored: no tuna fish to eat, and the hot sun beating down on my luxury fur where there is no zip to remove it. Not even the production of a hairball is of interest. I decide to take a walk, but there are strange humans patrolling my territory with heavy large boots, known as builders. They are the ones that removed my entrance and exit to my home and force me to make a detour to the other side, meaning I must walk further. They have no respect for my trails. The days have been forgotten when I was worshipped as a god.

However, when they are gone I apply my special tracing marks on the material they leave behind. I notice that the building material is very absorbent and the wonderful scent of my markings remains for a long while. When they are finished our building will bare my scent in all the materials used. My mum always said, not matter where you go, leave something behind to let them know you were there: wise words, although after her third litter arrived, she decided to stop leaving her scent everywhere, because things were getting out of paw.

I think I will take a rest on top of my cupboard where I have everything under control. Perhaps Mrs. Human will decide that my hours of starvation will end and she will open a tin of tuna fish. There is still a remainder of the dreaded hard vitamin pellets in my bowl, but I can see Roschti, the neighbour’s cat approaching and is heading for the pellets. He is not fussy what he eats. Yes he is sniffing and now nibbling. My way to the tuna fish is being paved. I can see Mrs. Human already on her way, but disaster strikes. She tells Roschti to disappear as he is eating Tabby’s food. Silly human, that was the idea. I think I will have another few hours sleep. Things might change when I awake, like a fresh bowl of tuna fish for me.

Daily Feline Prompt: Disastrous Feline

Daily Prompt: Feline soil

Tabby

“I have a problem Mrs. Human.”

“We all have our problems Tabby.”

“I mean a real feline related problem, not an unimportant human problem. How can I leave my home.”

“The normal way, through the window.”

“There is no normal way, they have taken it away. There used to be stones, to walk on and now there is a large gaping space with a paw unfriendly metal grid.”

“But it is only a short distance over the grid Tabby.”

“Would you like to walk over it bare foot?”

“Of course not, but we humans have shoes to protect our feet.”

“And we felines have only our paws and claws which are not grid friendly.”

“Tabby as an intelligent feline you will find a way I am sure.  You can climb down into the ditch and climb up again, or even jump over the gitter.”

“Whilst you take a photo I suppose.”

“It would be a good subject for one of your blogs.”

“And everyone claps and throws a few likes to boost the statistics.”

“Of course Tabby, that is a good idea.”

“Forget it Mrs. Human, you cannot eat statistics. In the meanwhile I am expected to do a five minute detour to leave my home. None of the other felines have such an obstacle course.”

“You see Tabby, you have been honoured, because the humans that made this exit knew that you were agile and clever to overcome any difficulties.”

“Of course, at last fame, the bravest most clever feline here. So now we will conquer this obstacle.”

“We?”

“Just pick me up and carry me to the other side, no problem.”

“But????”

“Mrs. Human I am not only agile, but super intelligent.”

Daily Prompt: Feline soil