Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Assumption

Tabby

“Tabby what is so interesting in that corner.”

“Shhh Mrs. Human. Do not disturb.”

“But what is happening.”

“Stop disrupting my thought process and concentration.”

“You are making me curious.”

“See, you did it again.”

“What did I do?”

“Don’t ask so many pointless questions. I must concentrate.”

“But what are you concentrating on?”

“Mrs. Human if you cannot see it, then there is no point that I begin to explain. Life is not just bowls of vitamin pellets and emptying my recycling tray. There are events that should be observed and considered. There are assumptions to be made.”

“Such as?”

“Now you have disturbed the atmosphere with your stupid questions. It was just getting very interesting.”

“Interesting?  That is only my herb patch that you are looking at.”

“What might be a herb patch to you is something completely different to a feline.”

“What is it for you?

“Mrs. Human you have done it again.”

“What have I done?”

“The formation of my creative thoughts has now been disturbed. So please some quiet and less excitement. I must concentrate.”

“But what are you concentrating on.”

“You already asked that one.”

“But I did not get a firm answer.”

“There are some moments in life where an answer is not necessary. Just concentrate on assuming what could be.”

“Tabby where are you going now.”

“Too much excitement here, I must take a sleep in a quiet corner, but call me if anything happens. Just keep an eye on that patch of earth for me.”

“Oh, she has gone. And the patch of earth is just a patch of earth, but who knows. I suppose I should have a look now and again in case anything happens.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Assumption

Daily Feline Prompt: Disappearing Feline

Tabby

This is how it is when all your feline hopes disappear of going places and seeing things moving in the grass underpaw and even having a conversation with your favourite wall. All your hopes are dashed, destroyed, by just one heavy shower of rain. The water is coming from above, the worst possible scene you can imagine. You cannot drink it and not avoid it. Your fur coat gets wet and drops of rain drip off the nose.

If the water is below there is no problem. You can walk in it an even have a refreshing drink from it. In the olden days in the old country when we were worshipped as gods some of us even managed to walk on the water, but they were copy cats of course. A   human guy did it and they got big ideas.

I am now just laying here and waiting for the rain to stop, I have no choice. I am a victim of the elements. Even my wall is wet, but it carries on regardless. And the rain has stopped. My wall is shaking off the water and everything is back to normal. And now to have a refrshing drink from the puddles in my territory. All is not lost, I am back again.

Daily Feline Prompt: Disappearing Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Awkward Feline

Tabby

“Tabby you are sleeping your life away.”

“Have you a better suggestion Mrs. Human. I am exhausted and am still recovering from my shock.”

“You had a shock? And it was such a wonderful afternoon.”

“It was one stress situation. Did you see it, a human kitten appeared. It was on the floor and creeping.”

“Of course Tabby, it is too small to walk.”

“But it was occupying my territory. The floor is my kingdom and there is not room for two of us. And did you hear it meow?”

“Of course, is that a problem?”

“It nearly split my ear drums. I gave it a hiss and it ignored me and began to creep closer.”

“Don’t make such a fuss Tabby, nothing happened and you are still in one piece.”

“Or course I am, I decided  to retreat until the coast was clear. It was either the human kitten or me. I was sure it was aiming for my fur, its paws were outstretched. And now I must recover. Is the human kitten now gone Mrs. Human? Can I relax or shall I find another place to hide.”

“Tabby, don’t be such a kitten yourself. You are a wise feline and I really see no danger from a human baby.”

“Typical, no consideration for a feline. I now have to take a long sleep to recover from the shock. It was a very awkward situation. I was being attacked and I was defenseless. Has it gone forever?

“No Tabby, it will visit us again.”

“Let me know when that I can take precautions the next time.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Awkward Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Narcissism

Tabby

“How do I look Mrs. Human?”

“The same as always Tabby.”

“What is that for and answer? The same as always. I find my whiskers are especially perfect today, symmetric and well arranged. Although perhaps the third whisker on the left is a little shorter than the others.”

“There is nothing you can do about that Tabby, that is the way they grow.”

“Of course there is something, perhaps trim the others to the same length.”

“No Tabby, I am not going to touch your whiskers. They look OK to me.”

“Of course they look OK to you, you are human and humans have no idea of the perfection of the felines. Perhaps you could brush the fur around my neck Mrs. Human. They are places I cannot reach and arrange the fur around my collar.”

“But Tabby the collar is hidden by the fur and no-one notices that it should be arranged.”

“I notice it, and that is important. Human opnions do not interest me. And why do I have this collar around my neck. It is a symbol of slavery and you are the slave here not me.”

“The collar has an attachment with your name and address in case you would get lost. There is also the magnet that causes your cat flap to open.”

“I am labelled with my name and address! How insulting, and we felines never get lost. We always find our way home. I really do not need a magnet for my cat flap, I have you to open it when I am ready to enter.”

“And when you arrive in the middle of the night?”

“Exactly Mrs. Human. Human slaves should always be prepared. You carry a great responsibility in caring for me. Do not forget, I was once a god worshipped by all.”

“Was, Tabby, past tense”.

“Another human mistake. We do not have past or future tenses in meow, and only three pronouns which you should make a note of: I, me and myself.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Narcissism

Daily Feline Prompt: Complicated Feline

Tabby

Me, complicated? Never, although it depends on the comparisons. Compared to a human I am very logical. Humans do not understand our high level of intelligence. I wait at an open window, Mrs. Human tells me to go if I want to go. How can I go when I am still thinking about it. Humans live in one stress, they have no time to spare, and so we felines must make the decisions for them. We like to take it easy and think about it. If the window is open it might be an invitation to danger. How do I know what is waiting for me around the next tree. The human says she is cold, it is perhaps snowing or raining. Mrs. Human might also complain that there is a wind blowing, and even if the sun is shining it is too hot to stand in front of an open window.

Humans are never satisfied. As I said they live in stress situations constantly. We felines wait, sit and think and might even have a scratch before we decide. We take it easy,  one paw out of the window and Mrs. Human is already beginning to approach the window to close it. It is then that I rethink the situation, but my paw stays where it is. Humans tend to get nervous , it is a study of human reactions. They get impatient and begin to talk in loud voices. This is when I try to help and relax with my body half out of the open window and half inside. Even this does not sooth the human. It seems we felines can do nothing right and they tell us we are complicated. The word “complicated” does not even exist in meow, but how can you explain that to a subordinate creature.

Daily Feline Prompt: Complicated Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Premature Feline

Tabby

How do I know if I was premature or not. There were four of us all lined up at the exit and one after the other we sort of popped out. I was planning on being the first, I was ready, paws moving and pushing and my big fat long haired sister Nera forced her way to the front. “It’s my turn now” she meowed and out she was, but not before she gave us all a strong push to make she she was first.

She was always the boss, and as long as she was here, she told me what to do. One day she moved onto her 10th life and there I was, all on my own. I had to make all the big decisions myself, and that was not easy. Deciding when to eat and when to sleep was new to me, Nera always decided. She even made the decisions for Mrs. Human. I soon had things in paw grip again, as Nera would now and again pass a message on from the eternal corn chambers where she spent her 10th life catching mice. Yes, she was the first but she had it all under control.

Nera on top of the wardrobe

Daily Feline Prompt: Premature Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline infected

Tabby

“Tabby what are you doing?”

“Quenching my thirst of course.”

“But not on that stone, that is not so clean and you could catch all sorts of germs and infections.”

“But this is fresh water. It only just arrived from the sky, and is the best you can drink. It has had no time to get infected with anything, which is not the same I could say for that strange mixture you drink from your tap.”

“But Tabby, we only have fresh water, especially treated that it is clean and has no impurities.”

“Again the human logic is not logical. If water has no impurities, it is not water, but an artificial liquid with no taste and no life.”

“Thanks Tabby, but I prefer my water with no life.”

“Typical, dead water has no taste, no movement, and no excitement. It is boring from the first lick to the last, or swallow as humans prefer. My water lives, it excites, it tantalises. There is movement in every lick, in every drop. Imagine when it falls from above the flavours it collects on the way down.”

“That is just plain unhygenic Tabby.”

“Unhygenic is the best flavour that you can have. It is never boring, but exciting. And now for some more, before it disappears. It is not every day that I have such appetising water.”

“But Tabby you have a bowl of wonderful clean water next to your food bowl.”

“But it is not the same Mrs. Human, it has to have a savoir vivre, goût particulière, le grand miou.”

“I didn’t know you could meow in French Tabby.”

“Of course I can, I am multilingual in all types of meow. Water must be absorbed. I swirl it around in my mouth at least a minute before swallowing. That is the only way to savor the taste.”

“Oh, I see, I must be doing something wrong.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Infected