Daily Feline Prompt: Focussed Feline

Tabbby

Here I am again – did you miss me? After my trip to planet Koschka I returned tired but happy. It was nice to see the gang again and to focus on the problems of feline life, like what to do when a wall crumbles. This was an important point on the agenda.There were many of us that had suffered disappointment, mainly due to the human influence of destroying walls, because they were “in the way”. Walls are never in the way, and to a feline they are an important part of our life. We focus on walls, sometimes for hours. We concentrate, we stare, and yes, they stare back.

As ambassador to planet earth I gave a speech on the progress of our race, assuring all that attempts to enslave the human race were progressing. It was always felines first, but I have been informed that there is a human element  deciding to put himself first. It has been decided to attack this human, but he is strange, and is never where he should be. We have now contacted the golfing felines, the ones that like to run after the balls in the game and hide them. They are to enforce more effort in the golf ball captures, to undermine this new human leader in his intentions to  build a great wall around the felines. He is convinced that  nobody builds walls better than him, and he intends to make the felines pay for the wall, in tuna fish. This must be stopped, but we have a plan.

I now have many new contacts in Pawbook and we will be exchanging our views on hairballs and litter trays in the Meow Messenger online. I must now go, we have a problem, one of the golfing cats has produced a red hairball and now the Washing felines have a problem.

Remember you can’t focus when the mouse is in front of your nose, do not forget felines are short sighted. If the mouse is on the other side of the field, then walk softly and pounce, and don’t forget the tuna juice as a supplement to the meal.

Daily Feline Prompt: Focussed Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: The Planet of the Felines

Tabby

“That is a perfect photo Mrs. Human.”

“That is a terrible photo Tabby, very scary and not showing you from your best furry perspective.”

“It depends on the purpose of the photo. This is a very important photo, and will be valid for my fourth life.”

“For your fourth life.”

“Yes, it is my feline clawport photo, and we have to renew the document each time we travel to another place, with the relevant life photo.”

“Are you travelling to visit your feline friend Roschti?”

“He only lives next door and I do not need clawphoto for that. It is that time again for the Annual General Feline Meeting on Planet Koschka, and as an important member of the diplomatic core, I must attend to give my report on the planet earth and the progress being made with the enslavement of its humans.”

“That sounds very important. Will you be going by starship?”

“Mrs. Human you are watching too many science fiction films. Of course not, they do not exist on planet earth and if they did they would not be able to reach my destination. I will be travelling by catwarp, via the fifth dimensional transverse, but I must have my clawport with me. I do not want to be mistaken for a Catgone, the enemies of the Royal Family of Felines, like myself. Perhaps you could mount this wonderful photo in my furry pouch, behind the fourth claw of my hind leg.”

“You have a pouch.”

“Of course, but it only appears when Bastet calls.”

“You have your own planet.”

Mrs. Human we all have our origins. Do not ask too much. As feline ambassador to Earth, I am sworn to secrecy on the purpose of my visit to Koshka. Look after my territory whilst I am gone. And now to prepare for the journey.”

“But Tabby, all you are doing is settling down for a comfortable sleep.”

“You think I am sleeping? OK, don’t wake me, I might just be materialising on Koschka and would not like to only have a head and whiskers. I am on my way.”

“She is still here, but a bit misty. I don’t think I will ever understand the ways of the felines.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The Planet of the Felines

Daily Feline Prompt: Pampered Feline

Tabby

All in its place at my chosen time
Just tickle my ears, it is not a crime
My water must be cool, not shaken or stirred
Put it fresh in the bowl, my thanks will be purred
And now a tummy tickle, because it feels good
Only gentle not rough, as delicate as you could
I don’t have to be pampered, I am satisfied with less
But be careful with my fur and do not make a mess
Mrs. Human change my litter, it is time for some new
And do not make so much noise, just sift it gently through
I think I will go, so open the door
Although, just a minute, I must sleep some more
It is a hard life, decisions to be made
I will now sleep on the mat, I am really top grade
I am now feeling hungry, and will look to be fed
But on the other paw, I think I go to bed
Oh the stress of my life, with my whiskers do not tamper
All I need is food and bed and a little bit of pamper.

Daily Feline Prompt: Pampered Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Irrelevant Feline

Tabby 22.09 (1)

“Mrs. Human, it is a big jump for a feline, but a small one for the importance of the feline race.”

“Then perhaps it would be better if you walked to the other side of your home, where you can enter through the cat flap.”

“That is all a matter of being relevant or irrelevant, according to the words of Bastet. The distance that I jump is irrelevant, but the fact that I reach the other side is an achievement for the feline race. Of course I could fall into the abyss in between, even lose a few whiskers on the way, but the fact that I am maintaining the importance of the feline race by actually attempting this jump is an achievement.”

“But you could have an accident on the way.”

“Is that what the feline on the ship carrying Christoper Columbus to his discovery of the New  World thought? Of course not. He knew the ship would continue and he arrived with Christopher Columbus to populate the American continent with the first felines. It was a short ride to the American coast in a canoe, but a large one for the American feline conquerers. The first felines arrived and soon a each tepee had its own feline. That was how we conquered the New World Mrs. Human. We were fearless and fought bravely. Did I tell you about how we helpe George Washington to become the first president…….”

“Tabby I think you are now overdoing it. It was not the felines that conquered the world, but the humans.”

“Yes well every race has its own version of the way things were achieved I suppose, so dream on Mrs. Human and in between prepare a dish of tuna fish to sustain me after I conquer the abyss between my home and the outside world.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Irrelevant Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Leaf versus Feline

Tabby

“Tabby where are you going?”

“I must hurry Mrs. Human, I have to protect my territory. A war is beginning.”

“A war?”

“Yes, the leaf soldiers are approaching. It is the time of the year and I must be prepared. They fall from the sky and I must kill them when they arrive. Look there is one.”

“Tabby, you do not have to jump on them.”

“Of course I do, they must die, they are infiltrating my land.”

“But they are already dead when they arrive. Every year in Autumn they change their colour from green to brown and leave the trees.”

“Mrs. Human, green and brown does not exist in meow. The leaves remain as always, but they begin to attack. Imagine what would happen if they hit me on their way down. I would be injured. It is better to lie in a hidden place and when they arrive pounce. I killed three leaves this morning.”

“But they die in any case Tabby”

“That is not true, otherwise they would not be able to return again.”

“They are new leaves Tabby, not the old ones that return.”

“You mean they re-incarnate themselves and do not die. It will be a never ending fight, but we will succeed to the last whisker. Perhaps you could burn them Mrs. Human.”

“It is really not necessary Tabby. They die eventually.”

“And return again the next year – kill them until the last leaf surrenders. Look they are coming again, when will this battle end.”

“Tabby time for your tuna fish.”

“Ok, I am on my way, the leaves have surrendered.”

“That was quick.”

“Even leaves must take a rest whilst I eat my tuna fish.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Leaf versus Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Mighty Feline

Tabby

Yes, I am the mighty cat and here I am regarding my vast territory through the window sitting on a high place, as suited to my status in life.

My territory stretches as far as the eye can see, feline eye of course. It is not an easy task to keep everything under control, but thanks to the assistance of my friend the wall, it is possible. The wall deters all effort of invasion by other felines and humans. I distribute my wonderful irresistant perfume all over my land to ensure that everything remains under my control. If you look carefully through the window you may see a deep grave. This is to deter invaders into my private realm. Yes, the bones are collecting in the depths from those that did not conquer the gap. So remember if you wish to pay a visit, “mind the gap”.

Humans have also made efforts to enter through the window, but my Mrs. Human has been trained by myself to deter any close encounters of the third kind. There has been building work in my territory. The builders have even built a tower around my possessions, but up to now I have maintained my position, by hiding in the shadows. They are bigger than I am and have weapons that carve and cut and even scrape, but I observe everything. One day they will leave and my territory will again be mine.

I want harmony and friendship, not conflict and strife. I am guided by outcomes, not ideologies.

“Tabby, I think you are overdoing it just a little.”

“Mrs. Human I spent all day yesterday composing my mighty words.”

“Something sounds a little similar to the words Mr. Trump used when addressing the United Nations.”

“No problem, Mrs. Human, he didn’t write it himself either.

To continue, cats first, the wall second and everything else at the end.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Mighty Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Crumbs

Tabby

“Tabby, are you having a wash on my bed cover.”

“You have to take the chance when the feeling grabs you Mrs. Human. I noticed that it was necessary to perform a crumb removal from my fur, so why go somewhere else when I am so comfortable. Your bed is nice and big, and there is plenty of room to turn and stretch and get to those furry corners with the tongue that are otherwise difficult to clean.”

“But not on my bed. All the unwanted material from your fur is on my bed cover.”

“Is that a problem Mrs. Human. I have to carry it around with me and am glad to remove it at last.”

“But not on my bed cover.”

“Have you a better suggestion?”

“You could go outside to your territory.”

“To my territory? No, never. I might sleep in my territory and all the unwanted material collects again in my fur. I would be continuously scratching in awkward places and that is tiring work. I am exhausted afterwards.”

“But I have to clean my bed cover from what you clean out of your fur.”

“That’s life Mrs. Human, we all have our problems and it is only a cover to protect your bed linen, nothing important. As said, Mrs. Human, that is just part of the daily routine. Now just remove the bed cover and shake it out somewhere and then I can again resume my sleeping place. Stay cool, I have finished my wash, all impurities have now been removed from my fur. Oh just a minute.”

“What is the matter.”

“I forgot to lick in an important place.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Crumbs