It wasn’t me, it was the feline next door. I get the blame for everything. Just look at me, butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth. I am so sweet and innocent and never do anything wrong. It wasn’t me that spread my recycling litter over the floor it was the fault of buying the wrong litter. Mrs. Human says that the new litter smells better. What could smell better than me, an insult to my perfection.
Always give the harmless innocent feline the blame for everything. Just because I have paws with claws it does not mean that I made holes in the sheets on the bed. It was circumstantial evidence. If the sheets were normal cotton nothing would have happened, but they were that stretchy stuff. I even had problems getting my claws out of the sheets. They got trapped and I had to pull to release them. Ok, perhaps the fabrik got damaged, but I did not do it on purpose, it just happened. Sorry about it. No, why should I be sorry does not exist in meow. We felines do everything with a purpose. Mrs. Human bought the wrong sheets.
And we felines have no need for confession. We are perfect and never do anything wrong. Why worry, if it really gets bad, we can always blame it on the dog. We don’t have a dog, ok, then blame it on the human, the next best thing.