Feline RDP Friday: Feline Week

Tabby

That was a stress week if ever there was one. I hardly had time for I, me and myself. On Monday I slept for only 20 hours. I had a new wall in my territory and had to look after it. You cannot neglect walls, they need someone to talk to now and again and to stare at.

Tuesday was a little better, I managed my usual 23 hour sleep, but had to cram all my other duties into one hour: eating and washing. There was hardly time for a good scratch in between. I collapsed into my bed eventually, exhausted from the daily chores.

And Wednesday that was pure stress. I was chewing my claws out of worry. Mrs. Human had run out of tuna fish rations. There were only hard vitamin pellets to eat. Oh, how I suffered. I lost another hour’s sleep waiting for her to return with the new supplies. The worry I had you cannot imagine.

At last Thursday arrived. The midday sun woke me and I realised that I had missed my breakfast. I pawed my way to my bowl and made up for lost time. And then I had a quick look at my territory, but everything was in place. All the other felines in my area were still sleeping. I could relax and compensated with another afternoon of sleeping.

Tabby

As it was Thursday I had to have my intensive mid week wash. You would be amazed the stuff I found in my fur in some places. You humans do not know how lucky you are not to have fur, although you probably also have your problems.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday was my week-end and then I had to relax to recover from the other days of the week.

Yes the life of a feline is hard, full of work. “Mrs. Human, my litter box needs emptying”. Why should she do nothing, I am working 100%, she can also help now and again.

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Week

Feline RDP Friday: Damp Feline

Tabby

Water on the ground really does not matter
But if it falls from above, I have to go and scatter
Water all around means a very misty day
For a feline very disturbing and I decided in bed to stay
Mist is very annoying, I cannot see the mice
They are watching me and laughing which is really not so nice
And so I decided to stay in bed until the sun comes out
Here is dry and the mist outside, I really have no doubt
Water is the elixir of lives, and only meant for drinking
but when it infiltrates everywhere my energy is sinking
So now I sleep and take it easy and hope the mist will dry
Perhaps tomorrow the sun will shine and I will see the sky

 Feline RDP Friday: Damp Feline

Feline RDP Friday: Trucking Feline

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, where have they taken my territory?”

“Your territory is still here Tabby, it has just changed a little.

“Changed a little? Where is my grass, my earth where I can plant my secrets. Where are the smells that I deposited everywhere. The scents that prove it is all mine. It is now bare, everything gone. Is that my new recycling tray in the middle. I do not like it. I saw the humans take it all my territorial memories away in their truck.”

“I did not have the garden renewed for you Tabby, but for me.”

“Typical human, always put theirselves first. What about me, and how am I to climb to the top of the recycling part.”

“It is not for your recycling Tabby, but contains my herbs that I use for cooking.*

“You mean like catnip?”

“No tabby, I do not cook with catnip.”

“Then what is the point of having herbs.

“It is for me Tabby. You have a nice recycling tray for your use.”

“But where is the grass. Now there are only stones, although I have an idea.”

“Tabby stop squatting on those stones. What are you doing.”

“I am repossessing my territory. I think I must drink more water to cover it all. It is my marking device.”

“No Tabby, I can spray it with water from the hose.”

“It is not the same Mrs. Human. My effort is a sign of possession. At least I have a new wall to talk to. The wall will understand my problems.”

“Tabby walls do not talk.”

“How do you know Mrs. Human. Of course they do not talk to humans. It is only the felines that have a wave length to a wall.”

Feline RDP Friday: Trucking Friday

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Justice

Tabby

I am going on a march to complain about my food
The tuna fish is once a week and I find that very crude
Instead my bowl is full of pellets, hard and tasteless too
They fill my bowl up to the rim, instead of just a few
The humans eat steak and mince, sometimes even a bird
I might get a piece or two, but I find that most unheard
Sabre tooth tigers, my actual roots, they would tear the birds apart
But Mrs. Human cuts in slices, I get a very small part
Where are the days when I would hunt. hang the heads of the game on the wall
what has become of the King of the jungle, to the vitamin pellets we must crawl
Life is hard for many felines, Mrs. Human tells me so
But I have the problems training her, for results that do not show
On the other paw I should not complain and I do not want to weep
I need a slave to do it all to enable twenty-three hours sleep
And so I munch on vitamin pellets and pretend they might be mice
Mrs. Human has her fixed ideas, but I really want tuna fish twice

Feline RDP: Feline Justice

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Smirk

Tabby

“Who are you smirking at Tabby?”

“Mrs. Human I do not smirk, facial movements in the feline world only do eat and sleep, it is a human interpretation that I am smirking. Or do you have a reason to suspect me of smirking? Perhaps because my bowl of hard vitamin pellets is empty?”

“Of course not Tabby, I am proud of you for eating them all.”

“I would hope so, after the problems I had to swallow them.”

“But you have to chew them first of all.”

I tried it, but it made my jaw ache. Thank goodness that Roschti the feline next door saw me and gave me a paw with eating them all.”

“You mean you didn’t eat them all yourself.”

“Of course not, although I ate enough to produce two hair balls.”

“Where, what have you done with them?”

“Keep cool Mrs. Human, they are in the kitchen in the fridge.”

“Where?????”

“In the fridge, actually the freezer because that was easier to open being at the bottom, but no panic they will be frozen by this evening. They keep their shape better.”

“Wipe that smirk of your face Tabby, that is not funny.”

“I am not laughing, felines are not able to laugh.”

Whilst Mrs. Human is now recovering, my hairballs have frozen quite nicely and I have put them in my burial place in the garden, but don’t tell her. And of course we can smirk if the joke is a good one.

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Smirk