Feline RDP Friday: Feline Canal

Tabby

In my bowl there is a river, but sometimes is a sea
It flows in circles, is very cool, and all belongs to me
Sometimes it rains into the pool and then becomes an ocean
I have to dip my paw in the bowl to stop the perpetual motion
Mrs. Human fills it daily, she has her own canal
It is the tasteless tap water, which I find quite banal
Humans have no taste for water, the best flows through the land
It collects the scents of earth and trees, which makes it very grand
It it rains I wait for a puddle and drink to my hearts delight
It is so spicy with lots of flavours, and has a definite bight
My water is a precious gift, I am always wanting more
And so I take precautions  and trap it with my paw

Feline RPD Friday: Feline Canal

Feline RDP Friday: Fish Feline

tuna fish is good for you

“What do you mean, no more tuna fish. I demand my feline rights Mrs. Human.”

“No Tabby, no more tuna fish, the vet said you must go on a diet.”

“I have the perfect figure, not an ounce of fat anywhere.”

“Tests have proved that you have lost 400 grammes.”

“We ladies like to keep our figure. What tests? You mean when the vet emptied my leg.

“She did not empty your leg, but just took a blood sample for testing and now you must be careful what you eat. She sent me some samples of new food to try.”

“You mean those strange miniature pellets in my bowl? What if I do not like them?”

“You have no choice Tabby, They will give you appetite to eat more. And now open your mouth, You must take your medicine.*

“Medicine? This is now bordering on cruelty to the feline.  I have no intention of swallowing any tablets. Look how my litter sister Nera with her favourite screen saver on her computer.”

“I know Tabby, but we all have to bring sacrifices to be healthy.  That is why the vet gave me liquid medicine that you can swallow.”

“No way Mrs. Human.”

“Then I will mix it with your food.”

“Can I make a hairball with it?”

“No Tabby there is no escape, it is good for you and your tuna fish days are over.”

“But I will suffer from withdrawal symptoms.”

“I am sure you will love you new food. There is even a sample of fresh food with no pellets.”

“You mean like tuna fish.”

“But without the fish Tabby, nice meaty pieces.”

“Looks like I have no choice, but I am a brave feline and it is a far far better thing I do now than I have ever done.”

“Do not over dramatise Tabby. It is not a death sentence, just a change in your food plan.”

Feline RDP Friday: Fish Feline

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Chore

Tabby

Chores? Of course I have chores. Life is one big chore. Mrs. Human has to be instructed to keep my food bowl filled. She must check my water supply regularly to ensure that is is fresh. Every hour she should examine my litter box and fill it with new material. I hate litter boxes that remind me of the daily food.

When I have finished these important exhausting tasks of organising my human I must relax and take it easy. I have to regain my energy to continue with the other important tasks of the day. It is now time for a sleep. Again I must organise Mrs. Human not to make any unnecessary noise that might wake me. A feline must have peace and quiet to relax and recover from the daily exertions. My head is spinning from issuing the various commands to the human. If only humans realised how hard it is to be a feline with responsibilities. They have such an easy job.

And then there are the continuous washing sessions. Licking paws and keeping the fur free of any unwanted objects. Fur ball production is also very strenuous. Eventually I collapse exhausted.

Yes it’s a cat’s life and we have nine of them (less those that have been lost on the way) to tend to. This magnifies the work involved. And now I must go. I will be back in 4 hours when I again must have a good lick and eat, oh the daily stress.  Before I go I must just check to see if Mrs. Human has understood my instructions for the day. I cannot have her sleeping on the job. A happy, satisfied feline depends on the human being present 24/7.

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Chore

Feine RDP Friday: Feline Letter

Tabby

Sending letters with meows and hisses
Are not so feline and we do no do kisses
I might spray a sign to show that I was there
It also proves my possession and for that I care
My territory has boundaries, all marked with my sign
Just to warn the other cats, that it is mine all mine
Now and again I scratch a sign and might even make a lick
And sometimes leave a message, in a feline hieroglyphic
We do not write any letters, we do not bother to read
I stare at the feline and then we fight to succeed
I can also apply telepathy  to a cat quite far away
That would be a pen pal, who does not need to stay
Yes we felines are not social, we avoid contact where we can
But lead a happy life, we have our feline plan

Feine RDP Friday: Feline Letter

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Hospitality

Tabby

The notice on my cushion says “Do not disturb”
It is very serious and not a feline blurb
If I am sleeping then walk on your tip toes
Try not to breathe and do not blow your nose
I hate most others, even if they are cats
Hospitality is not my middle name, so do not give me pats
Just respect my status, or I will show you how
You must obey my feline law, hospitality does not exist in meow
We felines are independent, we have our very own wealth
Just obey and follow, it is only I, me and myself

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Hospitality

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Cottage

Tabby

Wo needs a cottage when you have a wall. Walls are comfortable and offer everything a feline needs. You can sit on it, climb up and down and even talk to it. If it rains you can even drink the water collecting in the cracks and on the surface. You see what is happening surrounding your wall and do not forget walls have ears, and they tell you everything that is happening. There will be no unwelcome visitors, because every wall has its chosen feline and visitors are kept out.

My wall is faithful to my needs. I even have space to dig and cover what I might leave in the places where I dig. My perfume is everywhere. Who needs a cottage. Just plant a wall next to your living quarters and your territory will be safe from any intruders. The wall is your protector. It might rain or storm, the winds will blow but the wall remains and protects what is yours. Who pays for the wall? The humans of course, so do not believe them when they tell you that the felines have to pay themselves. It is all fake news. Humans build the walls according to the feline specifications and they pay for it, stone by stone and brick by brick.

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Cottage

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Solstice

Tabby

“Did you say solstice Mrs. Human?”

“Yes, today is the Winter solstice.”

“Then I have no time, I must hurry.”

“What is the problem Tabby? Where are you going?”

“Do you realise what this means in the life of a feline? It is the most dramatic day of the year.”

“I did not know that the word “solstice” existed in meow.”

“Of course it does. Our world revolves around the solstice and today is the day with the shortest day in the year. And now I have no time to lose.”

“But you are preparing for a sleep, although you have only been awake for an hour.”

“Today is the shortest day in the year, meaning I lose sleeping time. I must now sleep as much as I can to compensate the loss of time. I will have to wait until Summer for the next opportunity to catch up on the sleep loss today. This is a dramatic day in the life of a feline, it is the big sleep day. See you tomorrow Mrs. Human, and please make no unnecessary noise. I must make the most of every spare moment I have for sleeping.”

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Solstice