Feline RDP Monday: Feline Jewels

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, I seem to be missing something.”

“What could that be Tabby, you have everything you need.”

“Needing is not the same, I mean something that would make the other felines look at me with envy. I need a new collar.”

“But the collar you have is perfect for your needs.”

“It has nothing to o with a need. It is just a plain leather band, nothing special. I saw in Internet you can buy collars with nice designs, even with jewellery.”

“Tabby what do you need jewellery for. You can only look at it.”

“But so  can the other felines and I will be something special.”

“You are something special Tabby. I know no other feline as modest and wise as you are.”

“That is very true of course.”

“And do not forget, you cannot eat jewellery.”

“Another good point, but jewellery would give you an idea to buy me something for Catmas.”

*You have everything Tabby.”

“And a collar with diamond studs?”

“It would be far too heayy for your delicate neck. ”

“That is true Mrs. Human. I must admit you have a very good point. OK, then just make it fur lined for a softer touch on my neck”

“You don’t give up do you Tabby.”

“Of course not, I have only just begun to compose my Catmas wish list. I have even though of you Mrs. Human.”

“Oh that is really something different, you think of others?”

“Of course. To save you the exhaustion of shopping for my tuna fish, I borrowed your credit card and have now made a subscription for a years supply of tuna fish to be delivered.”

“Yes Tabby, I must say, very considerate.”

“You even get a special gift to go with it.”

“What is that?”

“A nice necklace with a pendant engraved with “The best feline.”

“But I am not a feline.”

“No, that is for me to wear.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Jewels

Feline RDP Monday: Quenching Feline

Tabby having a drink

Drinking water is an art in itself
Just do not lap it up, but let it give wealth
Every drop is savoured, absorbed by the tongue
It is very healthy and helps you stay young
There are many flavours according to the rain
It falls from the sky and lubricates the brain
Let it lay in a puddle and it is supreme
Tastes of nature develop,  a wonderful dream
Do not just slurp and gulp, drink it with style
your taste buds will treasure it and make it worthwhile
Let it lay still and achieve a new stage
It is similar to wine, and matures with its age
I lick from my paw, it refines the good taste
every drop is consumed, there will be no waste
It is not just a quenching of thirst you must know
but revitalising the whiskers, so just let is flow

 Feline RDP Monday: Quenching Feline

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Chime

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, why do I have that funny shaped object hanging on my collar. It has always been there since I took over.”

“That is a bell Tabby.”

“A bell, am I a sheep or a goat? No, I am a feline of the higher level, and do not need such a sign of servitude hanging around my neck. It serves no purpose and looks silly, remove it at once.”

“It is there for a purpose Tabby.”

“It serves no purpose for me, unless looking silly is normal.”

“Tabby it is for the birds.”

“Why, if I have anything around my neck it is for me, like a remote control for opening tuna fish tins, and that is still being developed.”

“If you are in the garden……..”

“You mean my territory.”

“Yes Tabby, which you prefer. But if you have a bell around your neck, it warns the birds that you are coming and they fly away.”

“But I do not want the birds to fly away. I want them to stay, I love birds.”

“I know Tabby, but birds are not an extra addition to your food. If they fly away they escape and stay free.”

“Stupid idea. Mrs. Human I love the companionship of birds. Remove the bell at once.”

“Tabby you have been wearing it since you were a kitten and now you are 16 years older and I am not going to remove it now.”

“I have been wearing this symbol of slavery for 16 years?”

“Yes and up to now you never noticed it and I am not going to have it removed.”

“Then we will meet an agreement. I will keep it if you exchange it for one in pure gold to meet with my position in life: perhaps with my name engraved on it. That will impress the birds and they will have respect.”

“Yes Tabby, but perhaps not gold, brass would be the same colour.”

“No deal, I am allergic to brass.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Chime

Feline RDP Monday: Sublime Feline

Tabby

I am Tabby the invincible. There is no wall I cannot climb, although I prefer to talk to them. I am the powerful Tabby, furry without and tough within, I am the Mighty Tabby of the feline race. The Mighty Quinn is nothing compared to me. If another feline has plans on taking over my territory, I put him in his place. I put my paw down shaking the ground he walks on. He will flee in fright and respect. There are, of course, always exceptions, but then I make a quick exit through my cat flap, that is what they are for.

I have so many talents and all bow when they see me coming. Lotus flowers spring from my paws as they touch the ground, only of course visible for the eyes of a feline. Mrs. Human is always telling me she has never seen them, but she is a mere human. My meows are law and what I purr goes for all. I am the personification of the sublime. When I look at my reflection in my water bowl I am overwhelmed by the wonderful beauty I see.

“Yes Mrs. Human?”

“Tabby do not overdo it, just stay on the ground.”

There she goes again, humans can be so jealous. They cannot see in the dark as we felines can, and their voice does not carry the fine tones that the feline meow possesses. However she has her advantages.

“Mrs. Human, apply your opposable thumbs to open a tin of tuna fish.”

“Of course Tabby.”

You see even humans have their sublime moments.

Feline RDP Monday: Sublime Feline

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Lustre

Tabby

Wear your darkest sunglasses, or better try some shades
The lustre on my fur is dazzling, through the colours you must wade
All other felines are jealous, whenever I am seen
Their admiration is exclusive, I have such a fantastic sheen
At night we have no illuminations, Mrs. Human needs no lamp
My fur shines with a subdued light, I am the feline vamp
The moon no longer shines for me, it no longer has a mission
My fur is perfect in many ways, I am moon’s competition
When I walk in the evening light, I am the feline buster
Recognised for my purrfect beauty and of course my furry lustre

 Feline RDP Monday: Feline Lustre

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Blast

Tabby

“I blasted them all away, the leaves and now it is all mine, mine: my territory. It was a hard fight, they were falling thick and fast, but I conquered the leaf soldiers. Now I am exhausted. Chasing leaves is a difficult job, but I had my secret weapon, the walls.”

“What are you talking about Tabby?”

“Another victory over the leaf soldiers.”

“But I cannot see any leaves.”

“Of course not. As soon as they began to fall I was there with all four paws and whiskers and the walls surrounded them. It was a hard fight, but I defeated them, together with the walls.”

“Really. How brave, and the wind had nothing to do with it?”

“Wind? Yes, I did feel a breeze now and again.”

“But Tabby it was quite a strong wind and it blew the leaves away.”

“But not without my help. And now the territory is all mine. The walls are protecting me from both sides. I told the walls to leave the space in the centre so that I could see them if they advance again.”

“Who Tabby?”

The leaf soldiers of course. I will defend our right to the last meow to keep us leaf free. You should be thankful for my bravery and help in these times of war.”

“Yes Tabby, but I did my little bit as well.”

“You were fighting?”

“Not really. I just took the broom in my hand and swept them away. They are now in the garbage bag ready for the leaf collection.”

“But are they dead Mrs Human.”

“Of course they are, no longer moving. Do you want to see them?”

“No, Mrs. Human. That would be too much to bear. We should let them now rest in peace.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Blast

Feline RDP Monday: Not Plump but Fluffy

Nera having a sun bathe

This is my sister Nera. We were born in the same litter and she was the first one out, and  she never let me forget it. She was the boss and I was always the assistant. I am not sure who her dad was, but we felines do not talk about things like that. Obviously she does not have my sexy slim shape, but is more on the plump side.

I once called her fatty, but only once. She gave me a paw swipe and a few hisses. Her famous words were then uttered “I am not fat, but fluffy”. She was proud to be fluffy although she had a few problems. If you sit on a snail with a fluffy coat, and are somewhat on the heavy side, you would not notice and the snail would stay in the coat. Snails are sticky objects, She also had her problems with tics, or they had their problems with her. But as I said, she was not fat, and not even heavy, because she was my sister.

She is the proof that some felines eat too many vitamin pellets. She was never a fussy eater, if the bowl was full, she would empty it and even meow for more. Of course she was partial to a bowl of tuna fish. I would always wait until she was finished with her portion, hoping there might be some more for me afterwards, but no. She did not believe in wasting food. Once a year she would have a hair cut at the vets, but even with the fluff removed, she was still quite round in shape.

She is now living her 10th life in the eternal corn chambers, keeping them free of mice. Mice was one of her favourites and so was bird. But she was not fat or plump, just fluffy.

Nera sunbathing

Just remember, she ain’t heavy, she’s my sister.

Feline RDP Monday: Not Plump but Fluffy