Feline RDP Monday: Lumbering Feline


I am so tired, I dropped onto the bed and here I stay. It was hard work this morning. First of all I awoke and had one of my daily washes. That was an exhausting piece of work. In had to lick every piece of fur on my luxury body, from the bottom to the top. The most difficult parts are behind the ears and the nose as my tongue is not long enough. Luckily I have my two front paws, but again it is strenuous. I must lick the paws and hope that they do not dry out when I need them to clean the surfaces of my nose and ears. It all has to be planned with the various approach angles and surface coverage. A question of feline quantum mathematics.

As if this was not enough work, I then dragged myself to my food bowl and what did I find? Yes, the same old vitamin pellets, although I demanded from Mrs. Human that she added a fresh supply. The fresh ones have a definitely more inviting taste. Mrs. Human says it is something to do with the bait (whatever that is) that is added to the pellets to make them more appetising. Unfortunately this bait thing only lasts as long as they are fresh, but they are a little more appetising. Mrs. Human said that she could not leave tuna fish in the dish as it would dry up and no longer be fit for consumption. She should ask me first, I am the expert.

I was now really exhausted and decided another sleeping session of 4-5 hours was what I needed, but first of all I had to make a territorial inspection. I have noticed lately that others have been sampling my water in the morning.


I have my suspicions, and if I were not so tired, I would challenge the culprit to a paw fight, but it seems he was also sleeping.

I eventually collapsed into my cushion and decided that I must now lumber into my favourite sleeping position. I made a New Year’s Resolution that I would be more active this year and no longer sleep so much, but decided to postpone it until next year.

Feline RDP Monday: Lumbering Feline

Feline RDP Monday: Segue Feline


“Typical Human, locks me in the cupboard.”

“Oh there you are Tabby, I was searching everywhere and thought you might have taken a walk.”

“No Mrs. Human, you opened the cupboard door for me and I decided to follow the invitation. I did not expect you to shut the door and lock me in. I could have suffocated. I could have lost another life, there are not many left. I could have been forgotten and discovered a year later, just a skeleton. No water, no food, no nothing. What year do we now have. how long have I been locked up in this dark place.”

“Tabby do not overdo it. The year changes tomorrow and we still have today.  I noticed you were not here and began to search. You could have meowed or knocked on the cupboard door to show me where you were.”

“I was too busy sleeping for such physical exercises. Leave the cupboard door open.”

“But I thought you were going to leave the cupboard after being shut in for so long.”

“No Mrs. Human. I like this cupboard, it has so many comfortable cushions for me to lay on. Just leave the door open so that I can come and go as I please.”

“I thought you were hungry?”

“Yes, then just put a bowl of tuna fish in the cupboard. There is enough room. And do not close the door when you go. Pin a note on the door as a warning that this is now my sleeping place.”

Feline RDP Monday: Segue Feline

Feline RDP Monday: Resplendent Feline


Now you see me, now you do not
Here I am in my usual slot
I am always resplendent, no matter what I do
Today I greet you with my customary mew
Now it is Catmas, Santa Feline will be here
Bringing bowls of salmon and other Catmas cheer
I do not ask for gifts, expensive not my goal
Although food is better from a Versace designed bowl
My diamond studied cat flap might be on its way
I have been waiting for many years, much to my dismay
But Santa Feline knows that I am a pefect cat
Water and tuna is ready, and we will have a chat

Meowing my best to all my fans across the feline world, how lucky you are to have me. Wishing all a happy Catmas

Feline RDP Monday: Resplendent Feline</a>

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Halcyon


“And did you have a halcyon day today Tabby?”

“Mrs. Human, speak meow that I understand what you are talking about. My day was as perfect as ever. First of all I serenaded you behind a closed bedroom door to ensure that you realise I am also here. When you eventually appeared in my realm, I made sure that your first movements were outside to refill my bowl of water. After absorbing the refreshment I decided to retire to the armchair for an hour’s relaxation and then my taste buds reminded me that it was the time when you refill the vitamin pellets. The only time of the day when they have a fresh taste and not old and stale. Afterwards I was exhausted and again had to spend a few hours recharging my system with some sleep. Afterwards I decided to examine me territory outside and was glad to see that the snow decided to go. This was exhausting, so I had to have yet another relaxing sleep. It seems that when I awoke the sky had changed its colour to something called evening in human terms. Again I felt pains of hunger, and decided to sit and wait for a few tasty morsels from the human food. This time it was worth it, and it rained ham onto the floor. This was again an exhausting experience and so another hour of sleep was called for.

Yes it was eventually a felyon day in all respects.”

“Felyon Tabby?”

“The meow version of Halcyon. Enter it into your human-meow dictionary.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Halcyon

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Ripple


“Tabby, why do you put your paw in your water bowl?”

“That’s obvious Mrs. Human, I have to stop them.”

“Stop what?”

“The ripples of course. The water moves when I take a drink and I must make sure that it stays where it is. It could take over and I might drown.”

“But Tabby it is only a bowl of water, not a lake or a river.”

“But where do the lakes and rivers begin Mrs. Human It all starts with water falling from the sky. Suddenly we have a puddle and my paws are covered with water. I must stop this water invasion. If I put my paw in my water it keeps the water where it is and it no longer rises.  I cannot swim Mrs. Human, it could cover me completely and I would drown.”

“You will not drown in a bowl of water Tabby. it needs more.”

“And who says that the water will not expand and increase. Better to be safe than sorry and so I stop it from taking over. What are you doing Mrs. Human?”

“I emptied the water and now there is no danger of being covered by the water.”

“But, Mrs. Human, I was enjoying a drink of the water.”

“I thought you was worried that it would drown you.”

“Of course not, there is only enough water in the bowl to cover my paw.”

“Oh, I thought you were frightened of being submerged.”

“Of course not, I was just having a scientific conversation. Silly humans, as if we could drown in a bowl of water.”

“Oh, sorry Tabby, how stupid of me. I only wanted to save your life.”

“The question is which life.”

“No Tabby I will not get involved in a discussion about the nine lives of a feline.”

“Ok, Mrs. Human, then replace the water in my bowl that I can continue having a drink.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Ripple

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Uniform


I do not have a uniform, because I am unique
The black stripe upon my back makes me look so chique
All the felines turn their heads because I am so special
This mark is not for all to have, some say it’s from the devil
I am so original, and the others are just jealous
To be a special feline like me, is something very precious
So let us gaze at my photo, and see my special gem
On my forehead for all to see, I have a Macdonald’s “M”


Feline RDP Monday: Feline Uniform

Feline RDP Monday: Vigorous Feline


Just look at me, you can see how exhausted I am. It was a day full of stress, and I can hardly keep my eyes open. It all began this morning when I heard the humans had left their beds. They have it good, they sleep all night. I do not have that luxury. Night is the time for action. I see it all through the window in the garden. There are things that creep outside and I have to keep an eye on them, and the humans just sleep.

Watching is exhausting, I could hardly keep my eyes open, and must admit I compensated afterwards with a few hours sleep – not enough, but it helped. So eventually the humans were awake and I had to wait for Mrs. Human to find the time to fill my outside bowl with fresh water. We felines must always wait, no respect for our superiority. Just when I thought I could at last recover from my fatigue, Mrs. Human cleaned my bowl with the vitamin pellets and refilled it. I know vitamin pellets are the most boring food a feline can eat, but in the morning she puts a fresh layer into the bowl. You know it is like opening a fresh jar of jam for a human breakfast, full of new flavours, and so are the new vitamin pellets. I had to put my relaxing sleep on one side and sample the new flavours of the dish. At last I could sleep, but after eating I had to clean my whiskers and teeth: another interruption, but now was the time and I settled into my bed.

I was exhausted. Now I am awake after sleeping for the last 10 hours, but am still not ready for action. I found a relaxing place on the bathroom carpet which is always nice and warm, but again  I must succumb to sleep. Life is just too vigorous for my daily tasks.  It’s a cat’s life.

Feline RDP Monday: Vigorous Feline