Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Picture

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, this is downright embarrassing.”

“I find it quite an amusing photo Tabby. Just when I was ready to take a photo you began to lick your nose. ”

“And you find it amusing? I am now the laughing stock of the whole feline population around my territory. “Picking your nose Tabby?” or “Making sure it is still there” are just a few meows I got from the other felines. And then they began to snigger behind their paws.”

“They found it amusing. Now and again you have to laugh. A shame that I only got the top half of your face, otherwise I could put it on Pawbook to show the other felines and my friends.”

“That does not come into the question. There are certain aspects of a feline life that should be kept private. How would you like it if I took a photo of you with the handkerchief wrapped around your nose and show the Facebook world?”

“That is not a comparison Tabby and not very funny, but your tongue licking your nose is quite amusing. Where are you going?”

“In a place where you cannot find me with your camera. I have some personal cleaning to do in certain places and that will be kept away from your camera. I would like to protect my private sphere.”

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Picture

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Chest

Tabby

Me, a chest? Forget it. I have everything I need: a food bowl is enough. Just fill it up- Preferably with something juicy that melts in the mouth. No hard chewing on vitamin pellets. You can put them in a chest, lock it and sink it in the nearest puddle. I like my food to have once lived and breathed. I have no taste for hard pellets that I have to chew.

Then I need a nice garden to bury my recycled matter in Summer, otherwise a tray for indoor purposes. You cannot expect me to go out in the cold wet weather when I have private business to deal with.

And of course the wide open spaces I can claim as my territory. All of that you cannot lock away in a chest. I even let Mrs. Human have free movement. Otherwise she would not be able to tend to all my desires. I must pay attention that I get enough sleep, and that you also cannot store in a chest.

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Chest

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Pickle

Tabby

Life can be confusing
although we felines sort it out
If it wasn’t for the humans
that tend to cause some doubt
In the evening I am fed
With tuna in a sauce
And so I wait at lunch time
which is natural of course
But then I get nothing
Mrs. Human says eat your pellets
I think she misunderstands me
or is she just a zealot
Eating tuna once a day
Is not enough for me
I really must make it clear
It’s for breakfast, dinner and tea
And so I wait and give a stare
to impress my vital needs
It really is not difficult
To supply the suitable feeds
Even if I show my teeth,
It fails to make an impression
I give up, and eat the pellets
And hope for a new tuna session
I really so not want to fuss
and do not want to bickle
Does she realise it is cruelty to cats
To put me in a pickle.

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Pickle

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Closet

Tabby

“Tabby, look at the state of your blanket where you sleep on the chair.”

“Looks OK to me Mrs. Human. Has a very good decoration.”

“That is not a decoration that is traces of your fur and not very nice.”

“Smells good, so what is the problem?”

“The problem is that you are always sleeping on this blanket and I should brush the fur traces away. What will people think if they see it.”

Tabby

“But no-one sees it when I am laying on it. It is a very comfortable blanket to rest on, smells good and is nice and warm. And they will probably think that a home is not a home without its own personal feline.”

“No Tabby, I will have to wash it, or at least brush away the fur.”

“Wash it? But then it removes my aura, my patina, my natural scent.”

“Exactly, that is the idea.”

“Doesn’t come into the question. I will guard my personal resting place with my last fur ball scent.”

“OK Tabby, but at least let me clean it with a brush.”

“Are you insinuating that my fur is not clean. It is part of me with all its scents and mixtures. What are you doing Mrs. Human? Leave my blanket to me and stop pulling it away.”

“When you grip it with your claws and sit on it I cannot remove it. There is only one way. ¬†I will brush the fur remains away and spray it with a scent.”

“OK, I give up.”

“Where are you going?”

“If you insist I will have to find another resting place. If you need me I will be sleeping on your bed covers. Not as comfortable as my ¬†blanket, but they will do.”

“Tabby!”

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Closet

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Bail

Tabby

Sleep has got me in its grip
So bail me out with a gentle nip
I have so many things to do
And when I sleep I forget what’s due
I must wash my face and paws
Not forgetting whiskers and jaws
And then I have to eat my food
The problem is I feel so subdued
Now it’s time to shake my tail
Movement must be, I am not in a jail
Being a feline life is one stress
I should do more, but do less and less
I smell the scent of tuna fish
Time to move to eat from my dish
And then a visit to the recycling tray
Another task to find a way
Life is hard, I really could weep
but I am back on my chair and sinking in sleep

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Bail

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Tune

Tabby
It is time to go out, my paws have an itch
I can hear sounds outside, whiskers do twitch
But just a moment, I have a second thought
There is someone outside and it seems I might get caught

Neighbour's Cat

No, that is not me, but is another kind
Looking quite intense and has something else in mind
I think I will stay in, he does not look so friendly
Having fights with other felines is not really trendy

Another escape from a situation where I could have lost a life
Much better to be careful instead of having strife
It seems I have a new rival, ready to take territory
I hope he will go away and does not cause a story

The lives of a feline are never very safe
We might have a vicious fight causing injury chafe
Perhaps he wants to be my friend, but I have no such wish
Unless he decides to be so friendly and shares a tuna dish

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Tune

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Trial

Tabby

Lives are such a trial, the exhaustion is too much
I sleep for a few hours, but am still so out of touch
I was relaxing on a chair, but my whiskers said now move
And now I am pacing a path to a new groove
If I go outside, the fresh air will make me weak
And so I stay inside, I think I will take a leak
And now to eat some food to help me on my way
The plan is now to sleep, I must find somewhere to stay
I see the human bed is empty, soft, inviting
It is waiting for my body, this is so exciting
So now I rest my eyes, I am barely so alive
Now is time to sleep, for hours four or five
I will see you all tomorrow, when I am awake
Although I might be sleeping, it is just a chance I take

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Trial