Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Shard

Tabby

I think it’s time to go, I had a little crash
When jumping on the table something made a smash
I created shards of glass, they were everywhere
Mrs. Human got excited, because it was glassware
She should really be more careful and put these things away
i could have injured my paw which would be a very bad day
However I am careful, and decided to disappear
She is still ranting and raving, she really has nothing to fear
Shards are laying everywhere, I am sure she finds another
But it seems that this was a special glass from her own grandmother
And what about me, I could have lost a paw
In future she should use plastic, but I think I will withdraw

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Shard

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Partner

Tabby A 07.10 (2)

It is I, me and myself, but I am not alone
I have my wall to talk to, where I’m sitting that’s my throne
I look down at everyone and everything I see
I am the best of course, it all belongs to me
This is my territory and I do not want to share
It’s mine, all mine, my own personal lair
Other felines must keep away, they have no good intentions
My protection is necessary, I use my interventions
I meow and I hiss, and then you see my claws
I know no limits, and even strike with paws
If this does not work, I search for a gap
I make my escape through my own cat flap

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Partner

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Spikes

Tabby

Look at those spikes, what more can I say
They are growing so beautifully, more pointed every day
Hidden in my paws, to perform a great surprise
I sharpen them on chairs and trees, an impact for all eyes
Marks are left everywhere, and when the time comes
One day they might fulfil my wish and become opposable thumbs
I tried a scratch on a tin, but the tuna stayed inside
when I have my human paws, I will use my thumbs with pride
In the meanwhile they are handy to scratch around my fur
They remove all sorts of garbage which really makes me purr

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Spikes

Feline RDP Thursday: Corpulent Feline

Tabby

I’m not fluffy, I’m not fat
Just a special tabby cat
My body is streamlined, I pass through every space
I train every day and always win the race
Am always counting calories to keep my figure slim
Climbing walls and chairs, it really keeps me trim
And now I must go, there are exceptions to the rule
Mrs. Human is serving tuna, and I eat it, am no fool
She says it is the vitamin pellets that keep me oh so fit
I eat them just to please her, but I do not find them a hit
(alternative: really find them s**t)

Feline RDP Thursday: Corpulent Feline

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Fumble

Tabby

I found a new place where I can have a fumble
There are objects hanging down, I hope they do not tumble
Mrs. Human said it’s not my place, reserved for her wash
I find it nice and warm and even looks quite posh
I think I will stay a while, although she closed the door
Now I am locked in here, I will have to roar
The door has opened, I am free, I do not like it here
There is the dust eating monster and vitamin pellets to fear

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Fumble

Feline RDP Thursday: Non-Putrescent Feline

Tabby

Needless to purr, I changed the title
Keeping clean and pure is for felines vital
I lick my coat at least ten times a day
Not to mention ears and paws, and I do not play
My tongue is the tool that I need to use
I am cleaning my paw, no time to lose
You’re surprised to know what I find in my fur
There are things that move, when I lick them they stir
On the summer days, I might find a tic
Mrs. Human complains, dispelled with a lick
I do not smell, my breath is sweet
When I walk lotus flower appear so neat
I have my very own recycling tray
It smells like roses, fresh in a bouquet
And then there are humans where smells arose
I just ignore it and hold my nose

Feline RDP Thursday: Non-Putrescent Feline

Feline RDP Thursday: Unaware Feline

Roschti 22.02 (1)

“That was a lot of noise when you entered the cat flap Tabby.”

“I was in a hurry Mrs. Human. I just had a close encounter of the third kind.”

“We have been invaded by extra terrestrial cats?”

“You don’t have to laugh Mrs. Human, it was not funny. As I made one paw step outside, there he was, Roschti my enemy from next door. He was waiting to pounce, to hiss and to scratch. I decided retreat was the best method of defence in this case.”

“But I thought Roschti was your friend.”

“Friend does not exist in meow Mr. Human. It is better to avoid confrontation. I decided you can go outside and scare him away. Just speak in your loud human voice and give him a push in the right direction.”

“Tabby you can fight your own battles.”

“And have a paw fight where I could get injured.”

“You ┬ácan perhaps have a sensible talk with him and explain that you do not want him to invade your territory and you will in return not invade his territory.”

“Do what? No Mrs. Human, we do not have discussions, we give instructions. And no way will I agree not to invade his territory, that is against all feline logic.”

“In that case you will have to deal with it yourself.”

“And if I get injured and have to go to the vet for an expensive treatment?”

“Ok Tabby, where is he, I will have a few words with him.”

You see, you just have to apply some feline psychology to solve human problems. Money talks all languages, even meow.

Feline RDP Thursday: Unaware Feline