Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Orchestrate

Tabby

Now let’s see. I think if I press that button on the right of my paw it makes it faster. Shall I go for the black keys or the white ones? The problem with the white keys is that my paw is to big and it presses two keys at one, although that is quite melodic. Mrs. Human finds that a melody is something different and there should be another key in between, but human ears are not so finely tuned as those of a feline.

I think I will stay with the black ones. Oh, look here is a key saying organ. Now that is a good one, nice and loud with an echo. Why are there no meow keys. I suppose we have another case of human production- They never take our feline taste into consideration. So now for a nice tuneful relaxation.

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Orchestrate

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Petrichor

Tabby

Water on my paws
Soaking in the fur
Relaxing and gentle waves
I utter a purr
Oh what a feeling
blissful and relaxing
I could stay here hours
But time is quickly lapsing
I do not like the rain
Coming down it does annoy
But rain laying in a bowl
Is the feline’s joy
Just dip you paw in water
and absorb to your content
Refreshing satisfaction
Fulfilment of my scent

Feline RDP Thursday: Felne Petrichor

Feline RDP Thursday: Loose Feline

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, open the cat flap, I want to go out.”

“But Tabby it is very windy outside and very dark. You could have an accident.”

“Forget it. we felines come and go as we please. This is my sixteenth Winter of battling my way against the leaf soldiers and I have won every time I go out.”

“Tabby I am not talking about leaf soldiers, but branches of trees that could fall and injure you.”

“No problem, we felines have no problems and the trees respect us. I also have my wall to protect me.”

“Even walls can fall and crush you Tabby. Stay at home where it is safe and warm.”

“I am Tabby the brave and am going. It is a far far better thing I am doing now than I have ever done.”

“Tabby, stay here. She has gone, I hope everything goes well for her. Tabby you have returned.”

“I changed my mind, There is water coming from above. My fur will get wet. and will shrink.”

“Your fur will not shrink.”

“I am not so sure. You washed one of you furs, what you call a pullover, and that came out of the machine half the size.”

“That was just a mistake by me Tabby, because I did not look at the washing instructions.”

“So where are the washing instructions for my fur coat?”

Tabby you do not need any, you have your own washing machine at the right temperature, called a tongue.”

“All the same, I decided to come back. Although I am footloose and fancy free, you can never be sure of water falling down.”

“I told you that it would be better to stay at home in this storm.”

“Ok you have covinced me. I hope I am getting compensation for dinner. A nice slice of tuna fish complete with some juice. I like my fish to swim in loose pieces in the bowl.”

Feline RDP Thursday: Loose Feline

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline friend

Tabby

“Tabby I asked for a photo of you with a friend, and all you gave me were various pictures of you on your wall, either laying on it or sitting on it or taking a walk on the wall. It would be so nice to have a photo of you with the feline next door perhaps.”

“Forget it Mrs. Human, the word “friend” does not exist in meow and it never did.”

“But what about your mum and dad?”

“What about them. My mum met my dad and some time afterwards she moved on and he was never seen again.”

“But they must have had feelings for each other.”

“Feelings does not exist in meow. Mum said it was over so quickly they did not have time for the details. And as far as the feline next door is concerned. He is not my friend, I am not his friend and the only contact we have is concerning paw fights over territorial ownership. Now and again we have a staring match. He looks at me, I look at him.”

“But Tabby, you must be very lonely.”

“I am not lonely, I have my wall.”

“But walls do not have feelings Tabby.”

*Of course they do, my wall is my companion. It accompanies me through thick and thin and is a solid support. If I stare at the feline next door, he only has thoughts on various ways to kill me, but my wall has thoughts on protecting me from the feline next door. It is quite simple.”

“Yes, of course Tabby. And what about me?”

“What about you. Human slaves do not come into the section of friends. They are there to serve, which reminds me, I am hungry Mrs. Human.”

“Oh, sorry Tabby, I got engaged in the conversation I amost forgot. The same as usual?”

“Yes, but remember we also eat with the eyes.”

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Friend

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Blizzard

Tabby

I mean it looks good, but the best place to observe snow is from the inside looking out. It is cold. If you look carefully you can see my pawprints. I was a brave feline and even ventured out onto the snow, and I survived.

It has one advantage, it melts which means it goes away.

Tabby in snow

I found this photo in my album showing what a brave feline I am when it snows. I actually walked on the snow, and even sampled it. I discovered it was cold, very cold. I decided that snow was not for me and you cannot eat it.

Blizzard? Forget it, I do not even go out when it is raining.

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Blizzard

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Herding

Tabby

Since I have a tower where I can observe the action in my territory, my lives are discovering new opportunities daily. The mice are now moving, searching for places to spend the Winter and I decided I will help them on the way.

I was having a paw fight with Roschti, the feline next door, and he said he would join in with my new venture and he has spread the word around. We are 10 felines disputing this territory, but why wait for hours for one mouse when you can have them all.

We met in the evening to carry out the work. If the humans can do it with cows, then we felines can do it with mice, but unfortunately mice are not so co-operative. Tiddles came from the left, Butch was waiting on the right and in the middle were five mice. We had surrounded them. I pounced and they were gone, all in the underground. Roschti also tried it in his section with Curly, but again they had disappeared.

We were so disappointed and already had visions of herding the mice into the garden shed for our winter supplies. In the meanwhile the mice have appeared again. We felines were having  a paw swipe together to decide what the best method of attack would be and suddenly noticed that the mice had surrounded us and were listening to our plans. Of course we immediately went into action, but the mice again retreated into the underground.

We all decided to forget the whole thing and are now content with tuna fish. You do not have to hunt for it, it comes from a tin, and humans have opposable thumbs to open the tin, so why bother.

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Herding

Feline RDP Thursday: Bracing Feline

Tabby

I decided to make myself scarce. There are things happening here that are pulling my world apart. When everything is in its right place then the feline world is complete, but Mrs. Human again does not consider my felines. Did she ask me to give my permission to transform my territory into a stone desert? Of course not, she has a dream now and again and when she awakes she changes my feline world.

One morning I entered my realm outside, just to snap some fresh air and to bury something which must be covered afterwards, not wanting it to be discovered by other felines. They might start talking about me behind my back otherwise, but they do it as well. When I arrived in the garden I found two strange humans wearing big boots. They began to dig up my territory. They removed the grass where I love to lay to cool down after a hot summer day, and another Mrs. Human arrived and made the branches of my tree shorter.

I was devastated, they were taking over and no-one takes over feline spaces without my permission. And then one of the humans produced a machine. When machines appear, it means noise. Suddenly where there was grass and soil there were stones: big stones, enormous stones, even my wall (to whom I confide my deepest thoughts) began to shake a little. I eventually had to flee. They switched on this machine and began cutting up pieces of rocks spraying white dust everyone.

If I had been warned  I could have braced myself for the shock. I must now go online to the feline psychiatrist, my mental condition has been shaken to its various cores. I am in danger of losing yet another life I am sure. Today the humans with the boots returned and began to build two monster blocks with the stones, but now I am reassured. The blocks have been filled with soft earth, ideal for digging and burying. They have made two recycling containers for me I am sure. Now I can climb to the top, deal with my business and at the same time keep an eye on my surrounding territory. You just have to look at things in the right perspective.

Feline RDP Thursday: Bracing Feline