Daily Feline Prompt: Ripped from the feline headlines

Write about something that happened over the weekend as though it’s the top story on your local paper.

tabby

“Why are you looking so angry Tabby.”

“I am not looking angry Mrs. Human, just expressing my displeasure at a newspaper report. It says that all feline territorial rights are to be ruled over. There have been too many complaints from the humans about feline disputes and the noise made. From now on the territory belongs to all.”

“But that is much better Tabby. I am sure you felines will sort it out and will have a much better understanding. You could perhaps even from groups and join in activities like taking walks together. I am sure life will not be so hectic with all those stupid territorial disputes.”

“Mrs. Human if your neighbour decided to collect the apples from your apple tree in the garden would you be happy about it?”

“Of course not, it is my apple tree. He can plant his own.”

“Exactly, and so are territorial rights established. If Roschti walks through my territory and decides to leave a mark, we have a feline discussion and the feline with the loudest voice and longest claws usually wins. Although it might be that one of the felines manages to run faster than the other which also solves any problems of confrontation.”

“You mean when you run away.”

“Just to avoid a dispute Mrs. Human. It lays in the nature of the feline race that we establish our territory. If there are no territorial rights, there is nothing for a feline to discuss and feline life is boring. We could just as well share the mice we catch or the birds.”

“That would be a good idea. If you catch a mouse you could divide it between yourself and the other felines. Then no-one would feel left out or starve.”

“Yes of course Mrs. Human. The next time you go to the supermarket and buy a chicken, you could perhaps give a leg and a wing to the lady upstairs.”

“But then we would not have enough for ourselves.”

“Yes, of course, Mrs. Human. So please do not try to tell me how to live my feline life and I will not tell you how to deal with other humans. By the way I just read on my iPad that a human journalist that suggested abolishing feline rights has been delivered into the hospital for treatment on various scratches from felines. I think the idea has been abolished.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Ripped from the Feline Headlines

Daily Prompt: Ripped from the Feline Headlines

Head to your favorite online news source. Pick an article with a headline that grabs you. Now, write a short story based on the article. 

cat food

“Tabby, I have some bad news for you.”

“What has happened Mrs. Human? The canines are taking over?”

“No Tabby, nothing like that, canines were always in charge.”

“I beg your pardon! Were they gods, were they buried with the pharaohs in the pyraminds, embalmed to ensure their afterlife in the Eternal Corn chambers. Were they burnt with witches to arise again to conquer the world? No Mrs Human, you are wrong about those canines, although I must admit they are good at burying bones. Just a shame that they forget where they put them. Meow Meow.”

“Tabby, stop meowing behind your paw. Something much more serious has happened. In the online news of “Cat Lovers Everywhere” It seems an act of sabotage has been performed on the production plant of the healthy vitamins pellet feline food. The machines are broken, no longer working. They say that supplies only last for a week and then there will be no more pellets for at least half a year.”

“Only half a year? They didn’t do a good job on the destruction.”

“Who didn’t Tabby. What do you know.”

“Me? I know nothing, I am just a harmless little Tabby cat that is glad for every vitamins filled pellet that arrives in the dish of course.”

“I just read further. It seems that three suspicious cats were seen pawing their way from the factory.”

“But we cats are not so clever as to explode a machine, although we might be able to change the computer programme on the machine with our telepathic brain waves: just a twinge here and there and the machine gets a short circuit and whoosh, no more pellet threats to the Kingdom of feline power. Down with vitamins pellets. Viva tuna fish.”

“Err, Tabby, could it be that you had something to do with this act of sabotage – just asking.”

“Who me, never. Ask Butch or Roschti, perhaps they might know something, although I think they are both enjoying their dish of tuna fish at the moment, after all there is nothing else to eat. What a shame, a life of tuna fish, oh dear.”

“Tabby!”

“Yes please Mr. Human, but perhaps you could serve some catnip as well as a side dish to the tuna.”

Daily Prompt: Ripped from the Feline Headlines

Daily Feline Prompt: Ripped from the feline headlines

Click over to whatever pawsite you visit most frequently to get news. Find the third headline on the page. Make sure that headline is in your post.

meowfluffy

“Fluffy what is all the loud meowing?”

“I am telling everyone the news Tabby.”

“What news?”

“That it is not raining.”

“That is nothing special.”

“Of course it is. I can go out without getting wet and enjoy the nice warm weather. I even felt a butterfly flying across my nose. They are very tasty. Can you catch me one Tabby?”

“I caught one Fluffy.”

“Oh, good, they taste so nice. Where is it.”

“I ate it.”

“What about me?”

“My name is Tabby, not Heinrich Pestalozzi, I look after I, me and myself.”

“I will tell Mrs. Human that you did not share.”

“As if she cares. She will give us both a lecture that butterflies are not to be eaten, they are to be photographed.”

“Can you eat photographs Tabby?”

“Fluffly you ask some silly questions now and again. No, you cannot eat photographs.”

“So what is the point of taking one?”

“Ask Mrs. Human, I don’t know. She is taking photos all over the place. Perhaps she wants to get into the headlines with a purrfect feline photo of us both.”

“You mean we will become famous.”

“No, I don’t think so Fluffy, but Mrs. Human might.”

“That is very selfish of Mrs. Human.”

“Of course it is. That is one thing I don’t like about humans, they can be very selfish and only think of themselves.”

“They should be ashamed of themselves and take a page from the book of Bastet, chapter 295, verse 23 “Humans are not to be taken seriously. Their purpose in life is to change the litter box and bring food to the felines. Now and again a tummy rub can be allowed. Felines should always imprint on the human mind that they are No 1, everything else comes at third place”.”

“What comes second Tabby?”

“Tuna fish of course.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Ripped from the feline headlines